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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to give up time to help kids catch up?

343 replies

PeachyM · 10/07/2022 14:08

So I’m a teacher. And we’re nearing the end of the school year- finally :) Two kids from the same family but in different years disappear off for a two week family holiday, which hasn’t been authorised. I’m not going to particularly question their parents’ decision because it’s up to them. But they’ve come back having missed two weeks of a core subject and the parents have now requested we give up time to help catch them up. I’ve said no because I already have a shit ton of end of year stuff to finish and I don’t have the time. Parents have accused me of being unreasonable and said that I’m refusing to do my job. Who’s in the wrong here?

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 12/07/2022 07:28

One would hope that parents would not take their children out of school for a two week term time holiday. The teacher is not the one being the problem here.

BigFatLiar · 12/07/2022 07:48

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We had a number of former teachers, they never looked back.

Clymene · 12/07/2022 08:03

And in those circumstances (emergency services or forces), the holiday would be authorised @KalvinPhillipsBoots

This isn't the case here

LuckySantangelo35 · 12/07/2022 08:06

Tuskanini · 11/07/2022 19:42

Yes, they're in the wrong.

But the kids need to catch up, and you're going to end up helping, aren't you?

So the question is, how?

@Tuskanini

nope!

I don’t think she is gonna end up helping, and lots of people on here back her with that.

so she can save her time and energy for other stuff 😊

Tiani4 · 12/07/2022 08:11

Our school won't give out work missed nor help a Dc catch up even when off for over a week with covid.
My DD was in hospital off for 2 weeks and all her teachers explained they were unable to give her work she missed. I thought that slightly harsh but understood they don't have time, we got copies of a few school friends work.

So yes those parents are unreasonable. Tor a holiday they booked in term time? That's not teachers responsibility.

They can catch up via friends or school mum friends for work they missed. Send on their emails to SLT or report what they've said as they should not be even mildly harassing you . They can ask but have to accept a No.

Tiani4 · 12/07/2022 08:16

Obviously they’re more concerned about the Yr 10 child so they’ve come up with the generous suggestion that I give him quick catch up sessions during my break times. Because that break is completely for the kids and not at all for us to have a coffee and something to eat!

That's an outrageous request by parents!! Absolutely 100% say no to this, perfectly within your rights to - report this to SLT who will send strongly worded letter/ email to those parents.

00100001 · 12/07/2022 08:20

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Nonsense

Tiani4 · 12/07/2022 08:21

And some family's have no other option other than taking the holidays when they are told too, eg, Emergency Services, Armed Forces.

I don't go on holiday in term time and cut my cloth as I can. If I had to take my DCs on holiday in school time it's damn well be my responsibility to help them catch up not the teachers. They were there teaching each day, not their fault that for whatever reason I didn't send my children in to their lessons. School have a responsibility when child is on long term sick, but it's not down to teachers to do extra individual lessons in their own unpaid time.

HollowTalk · 12/07/2022 08:38

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But a private business would not allow its staff to work for a client for free.

Slv199 · 12/07/2022 09:02

Missing out on core subjects would be a reason why you aren't allowed to take kids out of school for holidays in term time. They can use the money they saved on the holiday to hire a tutor. Might have been different if say they'd been in hospital, that's not their fault then. Cheeky fuckers. Do the school not have a policy on this you can quote? Or refer them to the head?

RampantIvy · 12/07/2022 09:06

Bertieboo82 · 10/07/2022 16:26

Everything about this indicates private school.

the fact parents were able to take out for two weeks with no mention of any consequences (same at my children’s private school).
The direct and regular communication between parent and teacher (private encouraged, my experience of state is discouraged) and finally the parents expectations.

I don’t think unreasonable to provide some additional info or support, presuming the school permitted the trip. Not giving up lunch breaks (although on mumsnet it would seem no teacher has ever managed to go to the toilet, let alone have lunch!) but just saying that you’ll provide the syllabus and copies of any handouts

No it doesn't, not at all. I imagine that since covid there is more communication between subject teachers and parents. DD left (state) school 4 years ago, and I could email her teachers.

Teachers are very time poor these days, not helped by parents who think they have loads of free time Hmm

IMO it was monumentally stupid to take a child out of school for two weeks in year 10.

EmmajR86 · 12/07/2022 09:37

HollowTalk · 12/07/2022 08:38

But a private business would not allow its staff to work for a client for free.

Show quote history

You’ve not worked in a private corporate company ever have you?

working hours but the expectation of 9-5 is laughable so yes - lots of working for “free” for clients

YippieKayakOtherBuckets · 12/07/2022 09:42

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If you are a graduate then there are still vacancies in several subjects to begin teacher training this September. We're always looking for people with a strong work ethic.

noblegiraffe · 12/07/2022 09:49

lots of working for “free” for clients

Parents aren't clients.

Mirw · 12/07/2022 10:23

Tell your supervisor then tell the parents "no" again but that if they feel hard done to, they should put in a complaint. You might also want to tell them that most schools now fine parents who take their children out of class for a holiday during term time. The threads on here suggest that parents add in the cost of the fine for each child when budgeting a holiday. A breakdown if the cost of the time it would take you to make up the teaching with this pupil might also give them the kick up the proverbial they need. You could send it to them in a "joking" like fashion... Otherwise stick to your guns, parents have a responsibility to their children and that doesn't mean cheating the system for cheap holidays.
My parents arranged with our schools to take all 5 of us out if school for 2 weeks because of the family business and the way the employees holidays in the summer fitted in with school holidays. As it was a local company employing parents of many children at the tiny primary school/secondary school, it was granted. But we had to make our time up over the school holidays.

clarehhh · 12/07/2022 11:07

They have done something wrong.Direct them to website for curriculum and leave them to it!

GoodThinkingMax · 12/07/2022 11:51

so they’ve come up with the generous suggestion that I give him quick catch up sessions during my break times

Well, maybe you could quote them your hourly rate for tutoring @PeachyM ? I gather in the SE, it's about £35 - £40 per hour.

ILikeHotWaterBottles · 12/07/2022 12:16

pastaandpesto · 10/07/2022 14:20

As a parent in that situation, I would hope that the teacher would take two minutes to email me bullet points of the topics covered.

I would then expect it to be completely my responsibility to find appropriate resources (BBC Bitesize, books etc), work through them with DC, and do any marking.

Would that be reasonable?

Yep. You were supposed to get your child to class. You chose to take them out of class. That is now your problem, and you need to catch them up off your own back.

Honestly why do some people bother having kids? It's a well known fact holidays are expensive during school holidays. If you don't like that, then you teach your kid what they miss. You can't have free private tutoring on top of getting cheaper holidays. Or don't have kids if you can't do either option of teach them yourself or take them on more expensive holidays.

Many kids don't get holidays at all. Your kids won't die from not having them.

Phos · 12/07/2022 12:35

YANBU

I remember on one occasion missing a week of school to attend a wedding abroad and another time I was off poorly for I think 3 weeks (glandular fever), I just had to borrow a friend's book to "copy up" Teachers have enough to do!

me109f · 12/07/2022 16:32

The parents were so selfish they wanted a cheaper off-peak holiday in term time.
Tell them that they are stupid, and if their kids flounder in their exams they will end up like them. They should pay for extra private tuition for each of the children to help catchup. (£25/hour). That should challenge them. It is not your responsibility. Also if the education trust find out about the unauthorised absence they can expect a fine from them as well!

listsandbudgets · 12/07/2022 17:33

I like rhe way these parents think. I was leant to go the theatre with friends a couple of months ago but I didn't make it because of a change in work commitments.. based on this theory I can call up the theatre a d ask for a private performance. Brilliant

Mollymoostoo · 12/07/2022 18:18

pastaandpesto · 10/07/2022 14:20

As a parent in that situation, I would hope that the teacher would take two minutes to email me bullet points of the topics covered.

I would then expect it to be completely my responsibility to find appropriate resources (BBC Bitesize, books etc), work through them with DC, and do any marking.

Would that be reasonable?

No it wouldn't. TT holidays are against the law and the parents are lucky they haven't been fined.
It is not up to the teacher to facilitate TT hols by providing a list of what the children have missed whilst away.

Hmm1234 · 12/07/2022 20:03

They need to hire private tutors and stop being so delusional

nopuppiesallowed · 12/07/2022 21:37

There has been a similar topic on Mumsnet recently. A number of parents insisted that their children have learnt masses by going to Rome etc in term time and education is not limited to the basic subjects. It actually made me want to tear my hair out!!! Yes. Children learn a lot from having an 'educational' holiday. But if they are missing the education their peers are having, they have to catch up on that somehow. And, yes. Parents can help with this. But teachers have degrees in education theory and practice. Non teaching parents don't. If teaching is so flipping easy perhaps parents would be happy with Josephine or Jo Bloggs to be plonked down in a classroom and told to educate their little treasures. I've been in hospital but that doesn't qualify me to wear a white coat and take out your appendix! And going to school doesn't qualify anyone to be a teacher! Sorry. Rant over. It's been a very long day....🥵

Glittertwins · 13/07/2022 05:19

It's still possible to learn masses on holiday without going in term time though!!

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