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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dog sitting during c section - unreasonable?

72 replies

Takingthepmaybe · 09/07/2022 09:10

I’m exhausted from two nights of no sleep so not sure how unreasonable I’m being!

Friend is having a baby. Genuinely pleased for her. She has two dogs who I do love - one of whom is elderly and needs lots of attention and a younger rescue who is lively but scatty. She has a husband.

When asked I said sure totally happy to look after
the pups when you go in for the c section. My fault for not clarifying - but I was assuming it would be the first night she came home with bubba and maybe the next night.

Turns out that they dropped the dogs off on Thursday at 5pm. She wasn’t even going into hospital until the next morning!!! So they had a lovely dog free and baby free night the first night….She had the c section on Friday and is in for a couple of nights. But her husband is not staying overnight and has been home having a lovely uninterrupted nights sleep each night.

The dogs have spent both nights barking throughout the night and I’m exhausted.

I was more than happy to help out when the baby came home because I get that would be overwhelming - but I’m feeling a bit annoyed that what I seem to be doing is facilitating her husband have a lovely nights sleep each night before the baby’s even come home! And I was working on Friday which was obviously compromised- fine but I’ll need to catch it up.

Just not sure if I’m being unreasonable?

I am away from Sunday so then they’re sending the dogs to their neighbours. I have done lots of dog sitting during the day for them before.

I just feel that they’re taking the piss. I have a dog too and when I go away or need travel care I pay for someone to look after her.

She also wants me to cook for them and drop off meals. I live alone and often have toast and beans for dinner…

Husband is fully functioning. They earn above average.

I really do believe in helping out and supporting friends. But I just feel that here they could either pay for things or the husband could have picked up the dogs and had them during the night. If there was a health issue or they were really struggling financially I’d feel differently, but….

Anyway I’m beyond sleep deprived - how annoyed should I be (if at all?)

OP posts:
Whaleandsnail6 · 09/07/2022 09:38

I don't think the dog thing is cheeky. They probably didn't know the dogs would bark through the night and thought it less disruptive for you to just have them rather than dropping and picking up every morning/night. And I don't blame them for dropping night before c section,I had to be at hospital for 8am when I had mine, I wouldn't have wanted to faff about with the dog that morning if someone had happily agreed to dog sit.

If they ask again,just say you can't as they barked a lot during the night and we're too disruptive.

The meal thing is cheeky. Fair enough if you offered but it's really rude to ask you to cook!

Pancakeorcrepe · 09/07/2022 09:41

The dog thing is not cheeky. The meal requests are cheeky.
Why did you offer dog sitting if you are not happy to do it? It is normal to drop them off the day before, she was not going to drop them off on the day of her actual surgery. She had enough on her plate for the day of the surgery!

Original poster
Takingthepmaybe · 09/07/2022 09:42

Thanks @Whaleandsnail6 - do you think it’s cheeky because the husband has actually been at home for the night? I haven’t been through a c section so I genuinely don’t know the set up.

in my mind I was offering for when the baby was home and that was understandably overwhelming - I don’t realise that he’d actually be home for the night.

good to get your perspective! Dogs are all asleep now so I’m about to put myself down for a nap and see how I feel after some sleep!

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 09/07/2022 09:42

Dog sitting is fine, my brother’s dog is here for 2 weeks. He barks, mine doesn’t. The cooking, however, I’d say no, why can’t her husband cook?

Maytodecember · 09/07/2022 09:45

Their dogs probably don’t bark at night at home so it’s probably not entered their heads they’re barking at yours.
Why are they barking? Is it stress, boredom or noises ? Cat/ fox/ hedgehog in garden?
Did you go through the dogs routine before you collected them? At home they may be given a biscuit last thing.
Are they in their own beds?
There’s so many things that could be making them bark, if they’re really distressed howling would be more usual.
Post a few more details and I might be able to suggest something.

Original poster
Takingthepmaybe · 09/07/2022 09:46

@Pancakeorcrepe yes I did offer - it was ages ago and what’s happened since then is that there have been a LOT more requests coming in. She also wants me to home cook dog food to a special recipe which is a huge task.

I think that’s all colouring my view of the dog sitting!

the elderly dog is very much a known barker and I don’t think it would be any suprise she’s been barking.

OP posts:
Original poster
Takingthepmaybe · 09/07/2022 09:47

Okay I think I’m being unreasonable about the dog sitting thing but not about the other stuff!

Thabks for the perspective!

OP posts:
Whaleandsnail6 · 09/07/2022 09:48

I think to them it made sense for you to have them even if he's home during the night. It's years since I had my kids but when I did husband could visit all day 9am until 8pm so that would be too long to leave dogs alone and I would think if someone was sitting my dog,Instead of me calling round each morning and night to drop them/pick them up, it would be less disruptive to you to just have them overnight as well. If they don't know they dogs would disturb your sleep they probably think its all fine.

Hugasauras · 09/07/2022 09:48

I think it's just a disconnect in expectations. If he's driving back and forth to visit then it's much more difficult when you have to consider you can't leave a dog for more than X hours. When we were readmitted with my first, DH spent half his life driving back and forth because he couldn't stay for long periods of time due to the dog, and it did make life more difficult. I don't think anyone is BU, you just had different expectations of what was going to happen.

Hugasauras · 09/07/2022 09:48

The meal thing is cheeky though if that's how it was worded!

Original poster
Takingthepmaybe · 09/07/2022 09:50

@Maytodecember elderly dog issue is basically old age maybe onset of doggy dementia. Younger dog I think yes issues of noises form outside - she would quiet if I held her.

there is a whole back story here where it’s been dawning on me that she has really been using me (and other people) which I think then colours my responses to everything!l
she does!

OP posts:
Walkingalot · 09/07/2022 09:51

Agree with pp's - having the dogs overnight is fine - only for a few days. They probably didn't know they'd bark all night. Asking you to cook is absolutely outrageous. I think her DH is really going to struggle coping with it all when they are back home as she'll probably expect him to do everything. Be on your guard with any other requests!

AllFreeOwls · 09/07/2022 09:52

The dog sitting doesn't seem cheeky, just a mid-match of expectations.

However, expecting you to cook their meals for them? That's cheeky.

Expecting you to cook their dog for for them? That's super cheeky.

Original poster
Takingthepmaybe · 09/07/2022 09:56

Take on board comments re husband going back and forth. That’s reasonable.

I think it’s also that it was just presented to me by text that this is when they were coming - for three nights - and over one of my work days.

and then a follow up text asking if I could cook the dog food!

and neither text even said a thank you!

OP posts:
maslinpan · 09/07/2022 10:01

If you do end up cooking their dog for food, make sure it's the one that barks.

MajorCarolDanvers · 09/07/2022 10:01

The dog ask is reasonable. He will be in and out of hospital. You said yes.

Cooking them meals though is a cf request. If he can't managed there are takeaways or microwaves.

Original poster
Takingthepmaybe · 09/07/2022 10:01

@maslinpan 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Takingthepmaybe · 09/07/2022 10:03

I do love the dogs and they are being well looked
after!

I am a bit worried about them when the baby does come home. The elderly dog barks allll the time and needs a lot of care and attention in her dotage. I think they need to get some professional dog sitting support sorted - at the moment they’re just expecting all their friends to do it and it’s just too much. One of her friends helped me wal them all yesterday morning and apparently she’s been dog sitting them lots too and is finding it really hard going.

OP posts:
WishILivedInThrushGreen · 09/07/2022 10:08

Hmmm... so you do a lot of dog sitting for them and you've just found out that another friend does a lot of dog sitting for them too.

You've also been asked to cook and take meals round???

Sounds to me as though you are very useful to them.
If this usage is one way then you're in Cheeky Fucker territory.

I detected that you are used for other things.
Do tell.

Shelby2010 · 09/07/2022 10:08

Agree with PP, looking after the dogs whilst she’s in hospital is reasonable. They should have provided all food necessary, frozen if needing specific recipe.

Her DH should be making the meals for her.

swanfake · 09/07/2022 10:09

Asking you to cook for them is dead cheeky.

If it's a planned c section and her DH is on paternity leave I would only imagine you need to look after the dog a couple of days max, surely? The night before and the night after (before she is released from hospital all being well).

We have two dogs and my dad just stayed with them the two days I was in labour (followed by emergency c section) and neither i or DH was home. As soon as DH was home after the birth to catch up on sleep etc, he left. I came home to my dogs at home, can't see how the dogs being there would be an issue.

ShirleyPhallus · 09/07/2022 10:10

You have to get to the hospital about 6/7am for a c-section, I can’t believe you’d think she would be dropping the dogs to you at 5.30am on the morning of her surgery?!

it’s also great that it’s gone well and her husband could come home but they didn’t know that did they? He might have needed to stay with her / the baby is unwell / surgery is postponed etc.

the meals thing is a piss take but the rest of it isn’t

ImFuminHun · 09/07/2022 10:12

I'm going against the grain here and saying it is a piss take.
They didn't need to drop them over early and the husband is perfectly capable of taking them back now.

The fact that they expect you to cook food for them just shows that they are entitled numpties, so of course they would take the piss with the dog thing.

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all.

Trixiefirecracker · 09/07/2022 10:14

I imagine. Sad as it is. They will quickly get very annoyed at barking elderly dog when baby here and sleep is of the utmost import!

B0ssAssB1tch · 09/07/2022 10:16

Thousands of people have babies and don't palm their dogs off to other people. Time for the dogs to go home.

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