To not want to send my 3 year old to nursery for the full 15 hours immediately?

[Authenticity2020]

I have been a SAHM to my son for 3 years (super grateful I’ve been able to do that) & in September he will join the nursery attached to primary school & they seem VERY hot on attendance. He’s down for attending the max hours he’s eligible (15 hrs) so I assume they’d be paid for those hours even if I don’t always bring him in.

AIBU to say I want to start him with 3 or 4 day weeks for the first couple of months and build him up to a 5 day week? Are the rules for nursery’s in a school different from standalone playgroups?

I want him to get into a routine at nursery, but I feel that 3-4 days is enough for that. I also want him to enjoy at least one of his usual toddler classes that we’ve been doing up till now. They’re always mornings and he still naps. He’s also summer born so he’s also missed out on a whole year.

If it’s 15 hours I doubt very much it will be every day - my DC goes 3 days a week and the 15 hours only covers one day.

I would check with them as I would have thought it would cover 2 days school hours at most 🤔

well if it’s 15 hours it won’t be 5 full days either a few morning or afternoon session or a couple of full days

What hours will be be doing to get the 15 hours over 4/5 days? What are their rules around the 15 hours?

If you just didn't show one day a week, after 2 weeks, they can no longer claim the hours as the child isn't in. A one off is fine but a pattern of absence isn't.

I'm assuming he's going to be doing 9-12 5 days a week?
You're not being unreasonable but this is something you need to discuss with the nursery setting as they will have their own rules.

But if they've offered him a place with the 15hrs I would have thought they want you to take and use that place. If you don't think he's ready why not have him start in Jan rather than Sept.

If he's doing the 15 hours over 5 days that's only 3 hours per day so you'll have time to do other stuff.

Isn’t it usually just 3 hours a day, 5 days a week? That’s what my DDs school nursery was, you could opt for mornings or afternoons and pay for lunchtime as well if you wanted.

I would send him for the full 15 hours. It’s better for forming friendships and for settling in.

I put both of mine in just for 4 days for the first term - I just told them that's what I was doing. After that I was more than happy to have them in for 5!

You don’t need to “build up”. If he can do 4 half days, he can do 5.
My nursery owning friend always supports parents’ wishes but says it’s not necessary at all to have a prolonged build up.
If you don’t want him in 15 hours that’s a different matter.

Only this nursery can answer your question.

I have an August born who's almost 10. The best advice I can give you is send him the full 15 hours ASAP. A year is a short time to get a summer born ready for school so the more nursery time the better

I think you'll struggle to get a school nursery to accept that tbh. The expectation is that they attend 5 mornings a week, there won't be part time patterns.

If you want 3 days a week you should put him in a private nursery. At the school you're taking up a place that someone could have used 5 days a week and the school will be down on funding because of you.

Talk to the school if you want to, but I doubt they'll be happy.

@Authenticity2020 this is why I'm not sending my 3 year old to the school nursery to be honest.

I understand that they are a school so that's how it works for them. It's fair enough that they have their rules but it doesn't suit me to send her in 5 mornings a week. On my work days it isn't long enough and on other days I'd like to spend time with her.

She is staying at her private nursery - I still get my 30 free hours but she will do 3 days and start school in reception.

There are lots of different private and village nurseries around here that will do more flexible hours. Hopefully you can find one near you x

No, don’t piss the nursery about. Get him into a proper routine and stick with it. That’s only 3 hours a day five days a week, don’t overthink it.

If it's 5 x 3 hour sessions then they will get paid, he will be signed up for the 5 sessions and you can build up to them over a period of time. There's no law that says you have to attend all of them.

The rule is they must go five mornings a week, they can’t go afternoons

You don't have to but as others have pointed out its only half day or 2.5 days a week if you just get 15 hours. If there is a specific class he likes then absolutely pull him for that morning but make nursery aware.

To be honest they will be hot on attendance as they are attached to a school and will be expected to try and bring the children up to a certain level before Reception. Missing one session a week is fine in my opinion, but they will be concerned about parents who bring their kids on an ad hoc basis as you do see a difference in those children in terms of behavior, socialization in the class and, academic level (obviously not including those with SEN) than those who attend regularly.

Find a different nursery. I think school nurseries are a massive PITA and much prefer our private nursery. The private nurseries treat you as a paying customer, the school nursery staff act like god and think they can tell parents what to do. No thank you.

School nurseries have to answer to the school, if they send them all up to reception without basic skills there will be eyes raised and the head and head of early years would be having words with the nursery teachers, the pressure is much more intense than on private nurseries!

It was totally fine for us and our DCs school nursery was very very flexible. I can’t remember the exact patterns but was definitely a mix of mornings and days.

Children really don’t need full time nursery to be school ready as there is no issue if that’s what works for childcare or peoples families but there is no benefit to early education or socialisation. But the main reason was we all loved having more time together when tiny.

I didn't think you could pick and chose what hours/days you could do with a school nursery as you could with a private nursery.

This is why we’re not doing school nursery. DD is 3 and hasn’t been in childcare yet but is starting preschool at a private nursery in September doing 2 4 hour mornings a week. They’re extremely flexible, happy to claim for hours I don’t want (obviously) and suggested ways to use the hours in different ways depending on how DD finds it.

Several of my local friends are using the school nursery and it’s a massive pain, short mornings, uniform, have to send them 5 days, get in trouble for taking them out for a day.

If you don’t need childcare there’s plenty of time for that sort of rigidity and restriction.

Is it too late to move?

So the nursery doesn't have any afternoon children, that's very unusual!

I'm surprised you chose the nursery if it didn't actually fit in with the hours you wanted him to attend. He could have attended any nursery, it didn't need to be the one attached to the school you want to send him to.

If it is genuinely only operating for 3 hours a day 5 days a week I would be sending him every day as that's what you agreed to when agreeing to send him and I presume there were others who wanted a place who didn't get one.

If you don't want to do the hours don't send him there. I think it's taking the kids a bit to accept funding and not use it, there's plenty of other parents who would take the slot.

Our school nursery days end at midday.

The private nursery is making a mint out of wraparound care as a result!

If you don't send them regularly, the nursery can't claim the funding for them. If you miss an odd day here or there, its a bit different.

This is why we used a community preschool which let us use 2.5days rather than 5 half days for elder DD. Meant we had 2 days a week for other things.

Why don't you use the hours for a childminder instead? Much more flexibility and he will still be mixing with other children and having fun. Plenty of time for school! X