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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Prom Dress Disaster

311 replies

Promdisaster · 08/07/2022 09:27

Sorry, this might be long as to not drip feed. Apologies but could really do with some advice.

Ordered a prom dress for my daughter. Paid around one third deposit. Dress arrived in the shop the week before prom date. Went to try on and collect, but dress was too big. Seamstress made some alterations and said it would be done in time, they were working through alterations in order of prom date and to keep an eye out for an email.

Around lunchtime the day before prom, I got a text from the prom shop saying they were delivering the dresses and asking what was the latest time they could deliver that night or from what time the next morning, so I said up to 10.30pm and from 6.30am next morning.

Got a text early the next morning saying the seamstress had collapsed overnight and gone into hospital and they were trying to find another seamstress but not to worry, the dress would be there ASAP.

I told them I needed the dress by 4pm latest as daughter was having friends round to get ready/photos, then being picked up by another mum to go to a pre prom party/photos before leaving at 6pm to go to the prom.

Eventually, after a couple of messages and a phone call, the prom lady turns up with dress at 5pm. She asked my daughter to try the dress on to make sure it fitted. I was more worried that the dress would be too small now that it had been altered, so when she got it on and it wasn't too small I said it was fine and I could tighten it in with the corset . We were so relieved she had a dress. At that moment the other mum turned up to take them to the preprom party so the prom lady left.

The mum at the preprom party messaged and said the dress was too big and she had tried to pin it in but the dress was still gaping round the chest area and too big round the waist. My daughter spent the whole night miserable in a dress that was too big and is sad when she sees all the photos of the girls looking beautiful in their lovely prom dresses. My daughter is not a promzilla is is the sweetest laid back girl.

I have now had a phone message and an email asking for the balance. I really feel that I dont want to pay for a dress that doesn't fit and ruined my daughter's evening. I want to give the dress back so they can resell it.

IABU - yes the dress was worn
IANBU - it wasn't my fault, the dress didn't fit.

OP posts:

Original poster

Promdisaster · 08/07/2022 10:46

@RJnomore1
DD gets weighed every 3 months at the hospital and is the same weight. I was worried she would be putting weight on but she didn't and she's definitely not smaller.

OP posts:

BreakfastClub80 · 08/07/2022 10:48

I really feel for your daughter and I wouldn’t pay for this service unless absolutely forced to do so. There are some good pro for a complaints letters online which might help you but I’d want to turn it around and ask how they are going to compensate you for the poor service, stress and disappointment. The very least would be to waive the balance. I would point out that you accepted the dress under duress, the situation wasn’t conducive to any other outcome, and unfortunately they took a chance and it didn’t work out. The dress didn’t fit.

Mostly,I’d want to at least say my piece, even if the outcome doesn’t go your way!

BenCoopersSupportWren · 08/07/2022 10:49

MzHz · 08/07/2022 09:58

Prom being an event you’re supposed to remember for the rest of your life!?

like it’s important? Like it matters? Oh come on! It’s JUST an end of school party! Wtaf have we done to our kids in allowing ourselves to get swept up in a load of American bullshit!

pre-pre prom party photos, pre-prom party, prom, after prom, hundreds spent on dresses, limos, hair, makeup, tans, nails, shoes….

this is totally out of control and another totally pointless Hallmark industry being created for no reason other than people to take our money.

I'm 50-mumble and I still remember the end of 6th form beach BBQ my year had with fond memories, it was a great fun relaxed day and the last time we were all together before we went our separate ways to uni, work etc. It was a time to look back at the highs and lows of school and to look forward with our whole future ahead of us, a day to pledge friendships (even if some didn't last) and to mark the end of something and the beginning of another phase of our lives. Why wouldn't you remember it?

I'm sorry your daughter wasn't able to enjoy her prom without some discomfort, OP. I agree with the PP who suggested this:

In the email I would state the following facts:

The dress was delivered late so you didn’t have time to do a proper fitting before the seamstress left

The dress didn’t fit properly and your daughter didn’t enjoy her night as a result

You understand there was a problem with the seamstress but they assured you it would be fine

toomuchlaundry · 08/07/2022 10:51

But @Rosehugger she tried it on in front of the person dropping it off and said it was fine and then wore it for the evening.

Dixiechickonhols · 08/07/2022 10:52

Your poor DD. I’d decide what outcome you want and send a factual email explaining situation and what you want. Having alterations so close was always going to be a risky, the shop should have done them in advance. My DD’s dress was altered and still too big so was taken in again. We got it back Monday for prom Thursday and I thought that was tight.

Original poster

Promdisaster · 08/07/2022 10:52

@toomuchlaundry
What other choice did we have at that point?

OP posts:

Zilla1 · 08/07/2022 10:52

Don't offer any solution like return of dress that will fix loss of deposit of 1/3 price for something unsatisfactory that 'ruined the day'. Rather reply about unhappiness and see what they offer. For those without imagination, perhaps substitute prom dress for wedding dress and add in emotions of a 16? year old.

Mally100 · 08/07/2022 10:54

But they asked you to make sure it fit. Sorry but it's at this point you had recourse. You said it was fine, wore the dress and then found it wasn't. It's not their problem as they confirmed with you. I guess you could express your upset but I'm not sure you have any leg to stand on.

balalake · 08/07/2022 10:55

See if they will take it back and reduce the amount you have to pay.

Perhaps then any money you get back donate to charity, such as the local food bank.

RJnomore1 · 08/07/2022 10:57

In that case I’d absolutely go and talk to them about it.

Hoppinggreen · 08/07/2022 10:57

Promdisaster · 08/07/2022 10:52

@toomuchlaundry
What other choice did we have at that point?

You didn’t abd that’s kind of the point
when DD had her Prom Dress altered the shop insisted we get it back at least 4 days before Prom in case it wasn’t right. Giving it to you with only hours to spare was ridiculous on their part

sunglassesonthetable · 08/07/2022 10:57

This is one of those situations on MN where a customer starts getting the blame for a business's crap service.

"you left it very late" - shop assured you it was fine

"you should have had a back up plan" - shop assured you it was fine

"you said it was fine" - they delivered late and wanted to leave, leaving no time to appraise the corset. You were under massive pressure of their making.

"you said it was fine" - their shoddy service meant actually you had no alternative.

If this OP was written by the shop, with everything going tits up and getting people's non fitting dresses to them an hour or so before prom would people be saying "oh well, they did say it was fine...."

pinkred · 08/07/2022 11:06

midairchallenger · 08/07/2022 09:38

I don't understand why she was "miserable" because of a slightly too big dress.

Oh come on now.

It is miserable wearing something you feel uncomfortable in. Even more so if you spend the whole night worried it's gaping and showing your bra/boobs if you don't move carefully.

x1000 for a self concious teen at an important event

Pigsears · 08/07/2022 11:06

The business did give rubbish service- I dont think that is in doubt.

But the one to suffer for not having a back up plan is OP's daughter. Its not blaming the OP for the business being rubbish, if the OP had a back up plan it should not alter the response to the business- they are still to blame for not delivering what they said they committed to- a dress that fitted and was delivered on time.

LIZS · 08/07/2022 11:09

Was there a delay in the order arriving at the shop? Did they even attempt to do the alterations if the fit was still so loose that the corset would not compensate? They should not have agreed to do the alterations if they were already heavily committed.

Agree with the points raised by @redtshirt50 and draft email of @Forestgate . They delivered a dress which was not fit for purpose as promised.

TyneTortoise · 08/07/2022 11:14

Can you plaster complaints all over social media if they insist the valance must be paid in full?

A good business should at least give you a discount.

knittingaddict · 08/07/2022 11:14

midairchallenger · 08/07/2022 09:38

I don't understand why she was "miserable" because of a slightly too big dress.

Don't you? 🙄

I do.

Threetulips · 08/07/2022 11:18

The seamstress should’ve looked at the dress and made sure it would fit. or spent the time fitting it properly.

A last minute dress would’ve sent my daughter over the edge. Not what you want for prom.

id refuse to pay. Do t lie about the time she wore it. Photos all online.

Movingsoon21 · 08/07/2022 11:23

God people on here are really willing to accept crap service!

of course you don’t pay the balance OP! They didn’t provide what they promised to - a dress that fitted, in time for the prom. They failed on both these points. Therefore you don’t pay as you didn’t receive the service. The examples for emails above are good.

Totally irrelevant that she wore the dress and said it was fine. She was left with no choice due to the failures of the shop.

consumer rights are thankfully strong in this country -use them. I would also be threatening to leave a bad review unless they refunded you the deposit, to compensate for the stress and upset caused to your poor daughter. Totally shoddy business practice.

Rosehugger · 08/07/2022 11:25

My advice would be for anyone buying a made to measure dress in future would be to specify that time is of the essence to the seamstress, and that if it is not ready one week/two weeks/whatever allows you time to find an off the peg alternative before the event for a final fitting then you will reject the dress in whatever state it is in and obtain a refund.

RaspberryParfait · 08/07/2022 11:25

Well of course the dress was worn on the night. What else was OP’s DD supposed to have worn?

Jeans and T-shirt?

Shop promised alterations would be done and it would be delivered in time. Can you take the measurements of the dress and see if it was altered correctly? If measurements are not as requested, they have breached contract.

I’d be inclined to say dress could not be worn after it was evidently too big once it was on properly (assuming she hasn’t split something down it and pics aren’t all over public SM). Bit naughty but so were they with cock and bull story about seamstress collapsing and turning up an hour before Prom rushing her to try it on!

StoppinBy · 08/07/2022 11:28

I think the fact that the seamstress didn't deliver the dress is also an issue, how could any on the spot alterations be made if the seamstress wasn't even there?

I agree with a previous poster who said don't offer any solutions, email your grievances and see what they have to say.

puffalo · 08/07/2022 11:43

Definitely complain and try and push back.

The reality is if they had been honest about the situation with you, the likelihood is you would have went and bought a “back up” dress in case it didn’t arrive on time and then your daughter would have had something to wear that actually fitted. It might not have been the dress she wanted, but it still would have been a lovely dress and she would have been able to enjoy her night without spending the entire time holding a dress up and feeling self conscious.

Glitteratitar · 08/07/2022 11:45

You can argue against the cost of the alterations but pay for the dress - you can’t have it, keep it, wear it and then refuse to pay for it.

Yiayoula · 08/07/2022 11:45

Another vote here for Forestgate’s excellent E-mail.
The “collapse “ of the seamstress seems very dramatic and convenient , or maybe I just have a nasty suspicious mind .
Wishing you all the very best, OP ! 💐

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