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AIBU?

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Original poster

Prom Dress Disaster

311 replies

Promdisaster · 08/07/2022 09:27

Sorry, this might be long as to not drip feed. Apologies but could really do with some advice.

Ordered a prom dress for my daughter. Paid around one third deposit. Dress arrived in the shop the week before prom date. Went to try on and collect, but dress was too big. Seamstress made some alterations and said it would be done in time, they were working through alterations in order of prom date and to keep an eye out for an email.

Around lunchtime the day before prom, I got a text from the prom shop saying they were delivering the dresses and asking what was the latest time they could deliver that night or from what time the next morning, so I said up to 10.30pm and from 6.30am next morning.

Got a text early the next morning saying the seamstress had collapsed overnight and gone into hospital and they were trying to find another seamstress but not to worry, the dress would be there ASAP.

I told them I needed the dress by 4pm latest as daughter was having friends round to get ready/photos, then being picked up by another mum to go to a pre prom party/photos before leaving at 6pm to go to the prom.

Eventually, after a couple of messages and a phone call, the prom lady turns up with dress at 5pm. She asked my daughter to try the dress on to make sure it fitted. I was more worried that the dress would be too small now that it had been altered, so when she got it on and it wasn't too small I said it was fine and I could tighten it in with the corset . We were so relieved she had a dress. At that moment the other mum turned up to take them to the preprom party so the prom lady left.

The mum at the preprom party messaged and said the dress was too big and she had tried to pin it in but the dress was still gaping round the chest area and too big round the waist. My daughter spent the whole night miserable in a dress that was too big and is sad when she sees all the photos of the girls looking beautiful in their lovely prom dresses. My daughter is not a promzilla is is the sweetest laid back girl.

I have now had a phone message and an email asking for the balance. I really feel that I dont want to pay for a dress that doesn't fit and ruined my daughter's evening. I want to give the dress back so they can resell it.

IABU - yes the dress was worn
IANBU - it wasn't my fault, the dress didn't fit.

OP posts:
Dixiechickonhols · 08/07/2022 13:01

misteek · 08/07/2022 12:43

i dont understand why you didnt just buy a dress that fitted your daughter in the first place 1

Prom dresses are usually ordered in. You try on a sample then they order and alter to fit. There's been a huge issue this year as lots come from overseas and some have taken ages/not arrived. My DD actually chose a bridesmaid dress which came in a size 10 as standard then it was taken in (twice) to fit her. They don't sell them in size 4.6.8.10 like normal dresses.
It was a whole new experience. I bought my wedding dress from monsoon and never been a bridesmaid so hadn't been through it before.

babyjellyfish · 08/07/2022 13:06

Yeah I think it was a lot easier back in the day when you just went to Monsoon or Debenhams with your mum and picked something off the hanger.

There's so much pressure these days.

PrivateHall · 08/07/2022 13:06

Does it matter why dd chose a dress that didn't fit? The shop said they can alter it, so it should have been ok. Not much blaming op and dd for choosing this dress, what a ridiculous comment.

sunglassesonthetable · 08/07/2022 13:07

From their pov, you agreed a delivery timescale. You accepted the dress, saw your DD in it, told them it was fine. Your DD wore the dress, went to the prom and now you're saying the dress was a disaster and you don't want to pay for it.

From the shops POV they had a nightmare week. Way too many dresses to alter.Up all night sewing. Phone ringing off the hook . OP was very restrained- I bet some weren't) ( Possibly the seamstress'collapsing' etc ) Emailing and ringing customers putting them off. Everyone stressed. Literally driving round town late at the last minute flinging the dresses in. stressed Mums and promzillas ( joke ) at every drop off. Everything crossed that dresses were fitting....

Believe me OP the shop knows it was shit. They were there.

SeemsSoUnfair · 08/07/2022 13:11

WimbyAce · 08/07/2022 09:54

Nothing useful to say just dreading all this prom stuff when my kids are older. When did it become a thing?

Now I know why my DSIL had nieces prom dress bought, altered and hanging in the wardrobe since Easter! Baring in mind it is both prom season and wedding season, therefore seamstresses will be in very high demand, so prepare much much further in advance than you think you will need to seems to be the answer.

ds's girlfriend is pretty chilled about these things and ordered a simple black floor length dress 3 weeks 😮 before prom (don't now where she got it, but it was a bit like this but the skirt less full), it was slightly too big so she just used safety pins (brave girl!) to adjust 🤣, no fake tan, no professional hair, make up, nails or lashes and she looked absolutely stunning!

These things are as easy/hard as you want to make them, or as much as you/your dc feel they want/need to conform to the prom pressure. I had a harder time finding a 3 piece suit ds was happy with and didn't make him look like an old business man, then getting it altered to fit his awkward shape. At least a suit is an investment and he will be able to wear multiple times in the future!

P205 · 08/07/2022 13:12

I assume the dress was expensive. The OP should have taken her time and had her daughter try it on properly. She paid for the service after all.

From the point of view of the shop, they did the work and the OP accepted the dress and said it fitted. It’s a bit cheeky to turn around after the event and say actually…

sunglassesonthetable · 08/07/2022 13:14

At least a suit is an investment and he will be able to wear multiple times in the future!

Hmm, my son had grown another 2" and put on about 2 stone in the gym before his prom suit ever got worn again.

Toddlerteaplease · 08/07/2022 13:15

You said it was fine. You'll have to pay.

sunglassesonthetable · 08/07/2022 13:17

You said it was fine. You'll have to pay.

Luckily OP has read the whole thread.

bloodyunicorns · 08/07/2022 13:17

You should have made sure it fitted when the prom dress lady brought it to you! Much better that than sending your dd off to get ready elsewhere...

I'm not sure where you stand legally. You could try to sell the dress back to the shop, but you did accept it and your dd wore it.

But the shop didn't fulfill their side of the contract - dress was wrong size and delivered too late. I agree they took on too much and couldn't cope.

I don't know why you couldn't have seen that it would be too big if she had to hold it up all eve to stop it falling down, though...

dianthus101 · 08/07/2022 13:20

I think you probably have to pay something but certainly not the full price. The fact that it arrived last minute meant it was too late to alter the dress and also too late to buy another one.

Mamapep · 08/07/2022 13:22

I feel for your daughter OP but;

  • You accepted the dress, when it turned up, needed to say something then and negotiate the price.
  • You didn’t leave yourself enough time to alter it either. I get stuff altered a lot for myself and others, and when it’s for big occasion, I would consider receiving an altered garment 2 weeks before as ‘cutting it fine’.. cos alterations sometimes need refining. Receiving it the day before (or an hour before in your case) means there’s absolutely no time left to make changes.
Sorry but in my opinion it’s your poor organisation/inexperience at having clothes made that’s at fault. The seamstress should have been clear about this and you can try taking a photo to explain the problem and they could offer you a discount, but I don’t think they’d be unreasonable to decline.
bloodyunicorns · 08/07/2022 13:22

In future, there are plenty of online shops that sell prom dresses. Dd tried on some in a wedding shop but felt they were all too extra and she wanted something more slinky and like an evening dress, not bouffant and typically prom, so she shopped online. Try Club L London.

Mamapep · 08/07/2022 13:26

dianthus101 · 08/07/2022 13:20

I think you probably have to pay something but certainly not the full price. The fact that it arrived last minute meant it was too late to alter the dress and also too late to buy another one.

Even if it was received the day before she would have struggled to get it professionally altered again before the prom. Alterations sometimes require another fit session to get right.

DuckBilledPlattyJoobs · 08/07/2022 13:28

midairchallenger · 08/07/2022 09:38

I don't understand why she was "miserable" because of a slightly too big dress.

oh give over 🙄

toomuchlaundry · 08/07/2022 13:38

What would you have done if it had not arrived?

dianthus101 · 08/07/2022 13:41

Mamapep · 08/07/2022 13:26

Even if it was received the day before she would have struggled to get it professionally altered again before the prom. Alterations sometimes require another fit session to get right.

Show quote history

Yes, but the shops would have been open the day before so there would have been an opportunity to buy a dress off the peg.

Lifeisforlovingandliving · 08/07/2022 13:45

I am sure your daughter will survive…. I hope the seamstress who ended up on hospital is ok 🤔

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 08/07/2022 13:47

dianthus101 · 08/07/2022 13:20

I think you probably have to pay something but certainly not the full price. The fact that it arrived last minute meant it was too late to alter the dress and also too late to buy another one.

Agree with this.

I do think the shop had too many orders and I don't believe the last minute ill seamstress excuse.

But you didn't return/not want the dress and it was worn. I can see both your DD and your points of view though being rushed, DD being unhappy at prom and not wanting to make a scene.

So I think partial refund would be fair.

diddl · 08/07/2022 13:48

I don't know why you couldn't have seen that it would be too big if she had to hold it up all eve to stop it falling down, though...

Which also suggests that the shop were way out with measurements or didn't even do any alterations!

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 08/07/2022 13:49

Viviennemary · 08/07/2022 10:28

In hindsight you should have got your DD to try on the dress there and then. Its really disappointing though. You should get a refund fof the whole cost never mind not pay the outstanding amount.

She did try the dress on there and then and they told the woman it was fine!

sunglassesonthetable · 08/07/2022 13:51

am sure your daughter will survive…. I hope the seamstress who ended up on hospital is ok

if you believe that story.

Of course OP's DD will survive. But that is hardly the point.

User0610134049 · 08/07/2022 13:53

I think even if it had fitted I wouldn’t have been very happy about the last minute-ness of the whole thing. How stressful!

Johnnysgirl · 08/07/2022 13:55

She tried it in and said it was fine?!

sunglassesonthetable · 08/07/2022 14:06

She tried it in and said it was fine?!

An hour before Prom, with the shop keeper trying to leave and no alternative dress OP had been put in an extremely difficult situation.

In law, the shop keeper was not keeping to the contract of the sale, that is to deliver the dress altered correctly and in a timely manner.

The law is on your side in this situation people. Saying "it's fine" doesn't let the shop keeper off the hook. They have clearly fucked up.

If you read back it is explained in case you find yourself in this situation with truly shoddy service.