Will I be that parent?

[Bagpuss2022]

My DD is in y7 never so much as a missed homework wins awards very good kid, she had technology yesterday they have to bring in a container to bring food home in we pay school for the supplies (brilliant Idea BTW)
she got a detention for not bringing one only she did but it was not big enough ,
she did a lunch time detention lunch is only 30 minutes she did not eat lunch because of this.
I want to contact school as would much preferred her to after school detention as lunch is so short and did she even deserve a detention apparently the teacher said they needed a large container last week but DD says she can’t remember.
is it not a bit OTT this close to end of year and how exemplary she is it’s not like she’s had lots of issues she’s had non or do I leave it and put it to a life lesson ?
o

It doesn’t seem fair at all.
what if homes don’t have larger tupperware.
she took something in. Have they never heard of a knife for cutting it up?

Ridiculous. A detention for the wrong size container, what is wrong with the teacher ?

Were they specifically told the dimensions of the container they would need? Or would it be obvious from what they were making, ie did it need to be able to hold two portions of soup, or a batch of 12 scones or whatever? As otherwise even a "large container" could be all sorts depending on if you think of little lock & lock or sandwich size boxes, or a very large container you can fit an entire cake or lasagne in. If they weren't told then it doesn't seem the best organised system and it seems a bit much to give a detention for.

However, multiple classes of 30 kids all doing their own cooking throughout the day and needing to take stuff home - you can bet several kids in each class forget entirely or bring an unsuitable container, and then what is the teacher to do. Make individual provision for each one, try to organise storing it overnight and each kid bringing a container the next day instead, then they forget or don't bother again... if they chuck it out as uncollected you can bet parents would complain about having paid for the supplies. It's a giant logistical faff.

She brought a average sized lunch box that holds a sandwich banana yoghurt crisps and some apple juice! She said she can’t remember the teacher saying bring a large container so that’s on her I agree but she brought home about 16 shortbread cookies that fit in the container all be it a squeeze just think it’s a bit OTT
she hasnt complained to me I’m just angry on her behalf and not eating lunch made her meds mess up she has to eat regular luckily she had a bacon roll at break but still her levels were all over the place yesterday from 2pm ..

So she brought a container that the food she made actually fit into (just) and got a detention?

Good grief. I'm a retired teacher, and appalled at what many schools have become with regard to a pernickity and inflexible approach to rules. So in your shoes I'd be a teacher prepared to be 'that parent' in this case.

Yes! And as a trained teacher but pre school I was shocked the only thing that makes me think twice about contacting the school is she said she didn’t pay attention/hear the teacher say bring a large container.
she got the detention at the start of the lesson I do feel for teachers it’s not the easiest of jobs but she knows my DD it’s not like it’s a pattern and her not eating because of this could of lead to very severe consequences she’s Type 1 diabetic

I'd be 'that parent ' due to the fact that missing lunch could've made her ill.

Honestly, I'd be fuming and pretty much give them a piece of my mind, but that's just me. What utter bulls**t for your daughter though, especially as she is on medication, I'd definitely be bringing that up and making them feel guilty as Hell for it. Schools dictate way too much now, and my daughter hasn't even gone yet, I despair at sending her in the near future from what I've seen on here before.

I too would be that parent because of her medical issues. Don't be too polite!

I'd also speak to them, very OTT response from the school,

This is exactly the type of thing that has made me decide to home educate. And I was a goody two shoes monitor and head girl in my day.

She's Diabetic!!!!!!!! DEFINITELY DEFINITELY complain.....Pleeeeeeeease, this could have been way more serious, I'm Type 1 and know what it's like when you don't get the chance to eat properly, she could have gone into a Hypo if it wasnt for the fact she'd had a sandwich earlier,

I will email a carefully worded email I do agree DD should of been listening and taking note in her planner but the fact it actually fitted and a lunch time detention when lunch is only 30 minutes.
the only reason I haven’t gone in all guns blazing is I have had two sons go through the same school they age adults now and one is also type 1 diabetic and they were brilliant with him and so far same with DD.
i may request she only has after school detentions with my prior notice on future although this won’t happen she’s too well behaved,.
the school on the whole is a brilliant school I don’t want to sully that relationship but I would do anything to protect my DC and am willing to be that parent

So she is a well behaved child with a medical condition who made a mistake over the container size and got a punishment. It’s not like she forgot! If that is how they treat the good kids I dread to think how they treat the bad. If I were her I would think what is the point in trying hard. Take it all the way OP.

T1D and no lunch? I'd complain for that alone
A large container could mean anything

I am a teacher and really believe in tough love but this has made me gasp! The teacher has been OTT. What a ridiculous punishment for a minor inconvenience. Seriously, they sound like a bully.

I would be sending the email in and awaiting a reply. I would be emailing the line manager of the teacher as well. They need to know what poor judgment the teacher has displayed.

I’d definitely complain, you’re not being ‘that’ parent she shouldn’t have had a detention at all, what a ridiculous punishment especially when the food did fit! Not allowing a T1 diabetic to eat is also very dangerous, she could have ended up in hospital.

That is an absolutely ridiculous reason for a detention. I'd love to hear their response justifying that!

They made a type 1 diabetic skip a meal because she didnt bring in the right size container?

Be that parent. Your DD should never have been in this position.

Personally I would also tell your DD that she has your full permission in future to request an after school detention and if that is denied politely explain that she cannot attend a lunch time detention because she has to eat because she is a diabetic, and explain that you will deal with any fallout with the school from it.

I’d be that parent too. I mean, what are the consequences of having a slightly small box - she can’t bring home all of her biscuits. How is that in any way a problem worthy of a detention? They just eat them/redistribute to people with spare capacity/bin them. Completely absurd.

Even if she had remembered the teacher saying 'large' container, the word 'large' is so open to interpretation that it's almost meaningless. Plenty of people would think of a lunchbox as a large container, I think. So it's pretty outrageous to punish a child for bringing in a container that was slightly smaller than what the teacher was envisaging. Especially as she was able to fit her food into it anyway.

It's extremely bad that they made a Type1 diabetic child skip a meal, but I also don't think any school should be making any child go without lunch in order to complete a detention. Make them eat alone or give them ten minutes to eat and then they spend the rest of the time in detention, or even make them go and collect a sandwich from the canteen which they then bring back and eat during the detention. Being fed and hydrated is about the most basic requirement there is; it's not like lunch is some kind of treat.

The teacher was a dick. I'd complain.

No way does she deserve that! Poor kid, I would be seriously pissed off OP.

Email sent, I think as I have been a type one parent for many years I have become a bit more relaxed it is dangerous and like I have said they are brilliant with her like they were with my son, both of them are academic and my other son wasn’t he was encouraged in other areas I think it’s a rogue teacher end of year and burnout but she needs to be professional as a fellow ex teacher I understand I was polite but firm my DD is my priority she was low low at tea last night 2.3 for those in the know she’s so well managed I don’t think it’s a coincidence

Oh god, I'm glad you sent an email. I only have primary aged kids and I'm dreading them starting secondary school after reading some of the horror stories on here.