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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Will I be that parent?

59 replies

Bagpuss2022 · 06/07/2022 14:53

My DD is in y7 never so much as a missed homework wins awards very good kid, she had technology yesterday they have to bring in a container to bring food home in we pay school for the supplies (brilliant Idea BTW)
she got a detention for not bringing one only she did but it was not big enough ,
she did a lunch time detention lunch is only 30 minutes she did not eat lunch because of this.
I want to contact school as would much preferred her to after school detention as lunch is so short and did she even deserve a detention apparently the teacher said they needed a large container last week but DD says she can’t remember.
is it not a bit OTT this close to end of year and how exemplary she is it’s not like she’s had lots of issues she’s had non or do I leave it and put it to a life lesson ?
o

OP posts:

nocoolnamesleft · 08/07/2022 21:48

They forced a diabetic child to miss a meal? Damn right I'd be that parent about it.

Darbs76 · 08/07/2022 21:57

I’d be sending in a very strongly worded email and telling them not to issue any lunchtime detentions to a diabetic child. If they know your child is diabetic which I’d assume so I’d say they are either stupid or don’t care as it’s pretty obvious that the child might miss lunch which is going to cause problems. I’d spell it all out to the teachers what the consequences could be. Also a detention at that age in a primary school for something like that is ridiculous too. She still brought the food home, what’s the issue?

Purple52 · 08/07/2022 22:02

In my mind this is NOT a Tupperware issue. It’s a medical safety issue which could have had VERY serious consequences.

I know you’ve emailed, but I’d be following it up with a conversation too to make sure your email hasn’t been dismissed/filled.

it’s near the end of term. Teachers are tired. They can get irritated and dish out unfair detentions. But a diabetic child not eating could have been life threatening!
…. if they stuck her head in a carrier bag it could have been equally dangerous- I’m sure you wouldn’t have “just” sent an email about that!

don’t be scared of being “that” parent. Health matters!

Purple52 · 08/07/2022 22:06

Tentpegsandtantrums · 06/07/2022 18:06

3 issues

Overzealous punishment - why?!

Lunchtime detention - surely this shouldn’t mean no food?!

Inability to eat = serious risk to health.

This is not a good school, OP, despite what you might have experienced in the past. The punishment is draconian and over the top, denying a child food is ridiculous and the fact she could have been very unwell as a consequence is actually very serious.

I think I’d be going beyond the head and to the governing body/LEA (if what your DD has told you is 100% true).

Yep LEA or OFSTED.
absolutely not on!

TheZeppo · 08/07/2022 22:09

You’ve done absolutely the right thing.

im a secondary teacher- if I keep any child in at break or lunch I make sure they have access to food/ the toilet.

That said- we are all human. I hope a genuine mistake would be met with a genuine apology.

Smelborp · 09/07/2022 00:36

I feel like you under reacted. This could have ended with your child very ill. It would be draconian anyway, but to not allow. T1 diabetic to eat is pretty much neglect.

1HappyTraveller · 09/07/2022 01:16

If there’s definitely nothing more to this story then YANBU!

Bang out of order to leave a child without lunch.

Detention is a bit much for bringing an inadequate sized box. Would definitely complain. Teacher sounds like they are on a power trip.

teaorcoffee6 · 09/07/2022 01:26

Absolutely ridiculous. I'd be straight on to the school. She had a container if all the food didn't fit then she couldn't bring it all home problem solved.
How absurd of the teacher. I would not let this one go.
Quite a few of my friends and relations are teachers. Almost all are so condescending and think they know it all. In fact most teachers are this way. Though from school it was never the smart ones who went on to be teachers.

FairytaleOfLancashire · 09/07/2022 14:39

I'd be that parent in a heartbeat. If my kid doesn't have the correct items for school, it's down to me.
I've had this argument with school before, and also argued that my kid WILL prioritise food and drink before some bullshit lunchtime punishment as she won't have eaten from 7:30am til lunchtime, which is 1:30pm.
They can fuck off.

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