Will I be that parent?

[Bagpuss2022]

My DD is in y7 never so much as a missed homework wins awards very good kid, she had technology yesterday they have to bring in a container to bring food home in we pay school for the supplies (brilliant Idea BTW)
she got a detention for not bringing one only she did but it was not big enough ,
she did a lunch time detention lunch is only 30 minutes she did not eat lunch because of this.
I want to contact school as would much preferred her to after school detention as lunch is so short and did she even deserve a detention apparently the teacher said they needed a large container last week but DD says she can’t remember.
is it not a bit OTT this close to end of year and how exemplary she is it’s not like she’s had lots of issues she’s had non or do I leave it and put it to a life lesson ?
o

The reason for the detention was nonsensical in the first place. But putting that aside, a lunchtime detention should not preclude the ability to get food.

Regardless of the diabetes, lunch time detention should not prevent a school child having lunch, even if they are limited in the time given to eat and eating in silence separate to their friends, they should still be allowed time to eat and to go to the toilet.

I would be that parent , my child also has T1.

Whilst it isn't primary school, all staff should be medically aware and reasonable adjustments made for her to be safe at school. I would make a formal complaint and I would absolutely point out that the hypo could have been avoided, meals must be eaten and arrangements should be made for any detention to not affect meals. I would request a lunch pass and suggest staff receive training.

( that is a ridiculous reason for a detention too)

@givemushypeasachance

It's a giant logistical faff.

Well, not really. This is where natural consequences would work so much better than a detention.

You make it the student's responsibility to get the stuff home and make this clear at the start of each school year.

You tell them what sort of container will be required (if you're kind you'll have a stache of disposable foil containers so that they can get one warning.)

After that, getting it home is their responsibility.
Forgotten container? They can take as much as they can carry or stuff in their pockets but anything left over gets binned (or put on Olio?)

I often despair at Secondary schools' prolific use of detentions for tiny rule infringements, what do they do if somebody really misbehaves?

I've bever known lunchtime detentions to kean missing eating your lunch. Have you asked her why that happened?
As to being a good kid, she didn't listen or write down what she needed to bring , therefore the punishment has to be the same as any other kid would have got.

The big issue here is not whether this particular misdemeanour merited a detention, but that it is not acceptable for a child to have no opportunity to eat their lunch ESPECIALLY where there is a medical need. At the very least she needs a card or something to show to any teacher trying to give her a lunchtime detention that says that she must either be allowed to eat her lunch in the detention or that it must be an after-school detention.

As for punishment for not bringing a large enough container, only being allowed to take home what will fit seems quite sufficient, but presumably it's a school with an "automatic detention for not having equipment" policy.

OMG! I was going to say its completely unreasonable to make a kid miss lunch, even before you said she is type 1 diabetic.

Who gave her her insulin at lunch?

3 issues

Overzealous punishment - why?!

Lunchtime detention - surely this shouldn’t mean no food?!

Inability to eat = serious risk to health.

This is not a good school, OP, despite what you might have experienced in the past. The punishment is draconian and over the top, denying a child food is ridiculous and the fact she could have been very unwell as a consequence is actually very serious.

I think I’d be going beyond the head and to the governing body/LEA (if what your DD has told you is 100% true).

Her pump! Yes I should of mentioned that in the original post but I was more concerned about her initial Infringement no she does not go to private school

Even if someone has no health issues its completely unacceptable to punish by not letting them have lunch. You cant punish by withdrawing food! They get fed on death row!

I'm glad you have sent an e-mail and are being 'that parent'. No T1 child should miss their lunch and especially as your DD didn't actually do anything wrong, she did bring a container.

Is there any chance she actually had a detention for another reason?

The teacher sounds like she was having a bad day and took out her foul mood on your daughter. Damn right I’d be that parent

You did the right thing op, talk about an overreaction on the schools part.

Please complain- especially if your daughter is diabetic. That is a ridiculous thing to be kept in for!

That’s a pathetic excuse for a detention and no kid should have to lose their lunch time because of it, but especially not one who has diabetes!

Absolutely ridiculous. I would complain. Especially given the situation with her medication. No child should be punished by having food with held.

That's ridiculous

At my dons school any detention even lunchtime is arranged for a day later in week - that said they wouldn't give one for the wrong size container

I would definitely be emailing in and especially as she is diabetic

Haven't read whole thread but not every home woukd have had the "right " size container. So if she had taken no container at all would that have been a double detention ? And if the shortbread fitted in all squashed isn't the container ok ?

That is one annoying reason for a detention - your poor DD

Absolutely not being unreasonable.

Very unfair and surely just bringing less shortbread would be an acceptable consequence.

That said, I am a teacher and I am literally losing the plot after the last few years of madness. I still can't imagine doing that though! Maybe she said "if you don't bring a large tub I will give a detention" and is in her first year of teaching and made a bad call?
Your daughter sounds lovely and I hope that the Summer holidays will arrive soon.

I understand about the pump but here a 2 members of staff overseas the medication being given. Checks levels, inputs carbs etc so there’s a record. Who should’ve been checking her levels and agreeing the insulin?

Either way, she shouldn’t miss lunch.

As an extended teacher I usually find myself defending teachers but not in this case. Before the update my thoughts were that a detention seemed ott unless she's been warned by this teacher before, so i would want to email to check if there were previous issues I wasn't aware of. Also, I personally think all children should have the chance to eat lunch every day and gave them break, so in schools where lunch break is only had hour they should only do detentions after school.

After your update she is type 1 diabetic, Im horrified! My dad is type 1 and I know the stress of avoiding hypos. You are not being unreasonable to contact school and insist every teacher on her timetable understands her condition and the need for predictable regular meals!

Ex teacher not extended sorry!

There are times when you need to step up for your child, and let her know you have her back and this is one of them!! Would be tempted to tell the teacher to feck her shortbread where the sun don't shine!

I had 2 run-ins with teachers this last academic year, son doing his A levels. The stupid regulations after what the kids had come through during Covid, and not been able to sit GCSEs or AS levels, just boiled my blood.

Most ridiculous was when a teacher (who was only in the form room early to teach a younger class) instructed my 18 year old to put his phone away. When he complied, he was told to switch it off - the whole saga ended with twat teacher chasing him round the room trying to physically corner him to get the phone from him!!! Teacher then proceeded to phone me to give off, and when I didn't entertain him, he put the phone down on me.

I didn't bother to complain, as it was so near the end of term, though I should have as this moron complained about my son, and his year head spoke to him. Ended up him asked DS if he wanted to complain but it was too much hassle. Year head knew fine well what that teacher is like. I met an ex-teacher from the school and she said that everyone hated him lol!!

It meant so much for his son though that I had his back with nasty teacher.