To resign now

[Rosebel]

Started a new job yesterday with high hopes but tbh I don't think it will last long as they have barely any work.
That's not the reason why I want to resign.
I leave the house at 7:15 and get home at 6:15 so I don't see a lot of my son but both nights he's rejected me. Refuses to cuddle me. He was never like this with his dad.
I love him and the fact he hates me now has made me decide that I should resign. My husband doesn't want me to though and I can't deny that the money is good and I enjoy the job but not as much as I love my son
YABU keep the job
YANBU give up work and look after your son

😂

Took the words out of my mouth.

I just hope the poor kid isn’t punished.

The guilt is horrible, I understand OP. In my experience, nursery is really great for my daughter and she got used to it.

if this isn’t working for you, try to find something that is mostly WFH and you can pick up and drop off easier. If that is possible.

Op you need to calm down and stop attributing so much meaning to the irrational behaviour of (I presume) a toddler. It isn’t healthy for him, for his actions to have such a huge and dramatic impact on his mother. He needs to see you as calm and in charge, not falling to pieces because he refused to hug you.

Actually you do need to get a grip. You are being ridiculously dramatic with your language- hate, horrendous. It's 2 days. This is life. You are one of millions and millions of people who have to work and experience this initial unsettling part of it. What happens when your child starts school and does the first few weeks of crying hysterically ? Or an emergency and you have to be away. It's tough, I'm not denying that but being dramatic only adds stress to the situation and gets you nowhere. It is only 2 days and you both need time to adjust, just like every other situation in life needs time.

First recommendation, ignore the trolls & passive aggressive comments… some people feel the need to ridicule others to elevate their own sense of self. No one is superior (or inferior) to you.

Secondly, take some time out tonight to get your feelings down on paper. Some time to adjust to the new situation will help inform your next choices. If you feel you’d prefer to be at home, there is lots of scope with work from home options, etc.

Finally, take care of you. If you need some help to work through difficult emotions yourself, seek support. It will benefit everyone when emotional intelligence is a priority in the household. Take care.

@Rosebel even if everything was perfect, it still takes around 6 weeks to adjust to a new routine. Stick with it. You’ve got this.

Definitely need to give it more time and you do need a sense of perspective-he doesn’t hate you, he’s adjusting, you’re going to work not leaving him forever!

Are you serious, OP? This is a very over dramatic response.

I know, I can’t figure out if this post is actually real or just a mad joke at us all. Next stop Daily Mail…

I've had a flick through some of your other posts OP and you seem to have a lot of stressful things going on. You accepted this job for good reasons, give it a proper go for six weeks and see how things feel then. Any change is unsettling at first

He’s going to fuck off to uni or move in with a partner in a few years without a backwards glance.

Op I understand this feeling my youngest now 12 was 1 at the time I was 15 years into the army and had spent a 3 week period of working from 5am until 9-10 pm so not seeing him awake. I was so upset when after 3 weeks I finally saw him awake and no he didn't want to hug me either. Too little too late I signed off that day and left the army. I have had roles with similar timing to yours now and yes if your son is used to you being at home it's a massive change to him this said he does not hate you and this routine to him will become normal. My advice is to give yourself a realistic time frame say 3 months and see what life is like then making the most of your time off to have fun is key and the extra money will enable this more.You say you enjoy the job so keep going you are not affecting your son as much as you think you are take care from a survivor of mum guilt xx

I don't think I'll bother with this post again. Just for the poster who wondered how I'd cope with teenage years I already have two teenagers and am coping fine thanks. Teenage years have brought challenges but I think it's easier.
Yes it's a true post, how lucky that people on MN have obviously never felt this way.
I feel sad and guilty but actually posting on here has made me feel 1000 times worse so there you go.

It’s a transition period. He’ll get over it fine - behave normally, don’t feed it.

Those times aren't particularly strange or late to be honest. Would say that's a relatively normal day for most.

Your child doesn't hate you. It's been 2 days. You haven't adjusted to your new routine yet, and either has he.

If you don't want to work, leave the job. But I wouldn't go into it looking for excuses to leave. It's a waste of their time and yours.

OP - with kindness you need to calm down. This has obviously upset you, but it’s not unusual and it will pass quickly.

Just focus on continuing as normal and don’t let your son see you upset.

If you are generally in a heightened state (I mean from before you went back to work) then please go see your GP.

You are wildly overreacting op.

Kids do that all the time often for no apparent reason.

I think most people recognise how you are feeling Rosebel.
It is very hard to cope with separation when you've been used to being together. This distress won't last... but clearly it does feel very bad just now.

The comfort in the messages above is the advice that :

• your baby does not hate you. Getting used to change takes longer than two days.

• You are seeing the effect of big feelings - not rejection. Your baby is secure enough to express these to you - so perhaps you are being a good parent?

• other people have been through this and are telling you that it is not as bad as you fear at the moment. Your reaction sounds dramatic to those who are on the other side of this experience and have seen that it turns out well. You will get those cuddles again. You can both get used to new routines.
• Believe this - know that you have not done harm to your child -and feel better. If you don't after a few weeks- then seek help of practical or medical kinds.

Stay in the job getting paid for not doing much and your child will eventually come around.

Try looking for some big girl pants too.

I thought this was a post by Boris ..

Give him tine to adjust

DC1 said “Mummy work. Mummy bad” when he was 15 months and I returned to work. I didn’t think he was old enough to have any concept of what bad meant! It felt awful. So I really get how you feel. I used to run from the station to the child minder and felt so elated every time I got him back.

But just to reassure you, we both got used to it. We are still very close. He’s very independent, happy and career wise I’ve just been promoted to a v senior level and still collect DC from school twice s week and I’m always there for bath times. I think there are a few harsh responses. You can do this and it will be ok.

You need to be a bit more resilient that this - both in the situation and your response to the thread .

stop being so arsey , your child wil adjust.

Total drama queen. Get a grip.

OP, it's hard but don't give up. Your other children are teens so you've gone through it already but this will feel brand new! See how the week goes.

I eventually left a job after 6 months as I was travelling 4 hours a day, & by the time I got to the weekend, I was knackered. Only you will know what's best for your little one but try not to treat them as precious 'first' born as you do have other children, who will see this.

Good Luck, whatever you choose is your decision but don't disregard what worked for you for your older children.