Requests for childcare

[Getintoyou]

I'm working a really, really badly paid job that I hate. I hate it so much that I will probably leave soon. The money is dire, and as a result we struggle and go without. I do the role as it is term time only and for years it has suited us as a family.

So now we are approaching the summer holidays (you can probably guess where this is going) I've had a couple of requests from other school mums for childcare as they are struggling for annual leave. They are not friends. Its more of an assumption that I'll be at home so problem solved.

I say requests, but at this stage it's more that they are putting the feelers out and I know what's coming. I will say no, but it's really fucking stressed me out. AIBU to think this is really cheeky? And can you give me some good comebacks please?

I used to get this when mine were younger because dh and I structured our work so that he worked during the day And I went out to work when he came home. It did my head in!

It was hard enough working a 10 hour shift after a day with my own kids, I wasn’t going to add any more!

Exactly.

It's cheeky because it assumes a SAHP's time is available for the asking.

Turn it into an opportunity.
I would pick 2 weeks and make a bit of cash.

Get paid and Charge for the outings so your kids go too. Win Win.

Cinema
Country Park
Bowling
Beach
Playground
that kind of thing

Pocket the Cash for the rest of the hols

And you can "sorry only doing the 2 weeks" and then as word gets round. "sorry I'm full"

Also say "it's purely on an INFORMAL basis." Before everyone gets onto me about the legalities.

Also isn't a poor state of affairs in this country that women feel so pressed about childcare they start asking people they barely know. God Not blaming those women at all.

Your time is only available if you are paid for it OP.

Unless you are trained to care for children in your home say no. Ie a childminder, nanny ect. If anything was to happen you wouldn't be covered and could get into a lot of trouble. Helping out a family member or close friend is one thing but absolutely not for anyone else.

Tbh I knew people would say this @mrsbitaly

Don't know how old OPs children are but this is actually the reality for lots of older children. Say 10/11/12 yr old. Informal arrangements with friends, neighbours, older teens, students etc It's really hard to sort this shit out.

Child minders are fantastic and have to jump through hoops to be accredited but they are often taken up with younger children and your tween just doesn't want to go there. Kids clubs get booked up and sometimes you need other things to break it up.

OP it's also absolutely FINE to say a hard NO.

"haven't got much planned, but looking forward to not doing much..." Big smile.

"we might be away....."

I've been a SAHM for 5 years now and I've now wised up . The mumsnet classic 'no is a complete sentence' is the perfect response . I know when half term / holidays start approaching because DD starts to get invited to play dates all of a sudden . Then low and behold I get asked for childcare in holidays. Took a while to realise I was being buttered up 🙈
At the school gate I used to get certain mums saying 'oh I'm working so much these holidays ...I have no idea what I'm going to do with Lilly* ....you got much planned ?'
I used to be quite a pushover and hated saying no but after some kids turned into a nightmare I said No More unless we invite ourselves. Don't feel guilty Op, this is your precious time with your family.

As you are thinking of changing jobs then reply "I will be jobhunting unless I find something suitable before then. Childcare is the problem, any chance you might be able to help me out?"

It’s not ‘conflict’, it’s people treating you like a mug. Correct them.

‘No thanks.’

Perfect reason- dh is working from home and cannot have any excess noise

I know when half term / holidays start approaching because DD starts to get invited to play dates all of a sudden . Then low and behold I get asked for childcare in holidays. Took a while to realise I was being buttered

This has totally happened!

People aren't looking to pay her, they're looking for free childcare from someone who they're not even friends with. That's definitely cheeky.
It's also cheeky to ask if someone is free as though you want to see them and then ask them a huge favour.

With one woman she is loaded but her dd is quite difficult and wouldn't get on at a club (I imagine).

Of course it's cheeky expecting free childcare from people you hardly know. Given holiday childcare is £40-£60 per day depending on age, the only way in which it might not be cheeky is to 'pay' in kind with days out/theme park tickets - if another mum looks after your kids for a few days, offer to pay for everyone to go trampolining/go ape/to a theme park for at least one of those days.

It goes without saying it is cheeky to ask for unpaid childcare. I also think it's a bit cheeky to ask for paid childcare from sahp. They are at home with their own, doing all the usual stuff with their own all term. They look forward to proper holiday time with their own without entertaining other people's kids as well. If they have managed 2ithoutvthe once most of the year why assume they will be willing to give up this precious time if they get paid for it. In the grand scheme of their lives and finances I wouldn't think a few weeks low pay will ma ki e a worthwhile difference to them in comparison to the time they'"ll look se. Who wants to trail extra kids around during the holidays for a relatively tiny amount.

managed without the extra 😁 excuse several typos 😁