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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Requests for childcare

93 replies

Getintoyou · 05/07/2022 17:40

I'm working a really, really badly paid job that I hate. I hate it so much that I will probably leave soon. The money is dire, and as a result we struggle and go without. I do the role as it is term time only and for years it has suited us as a family.

So now we are approaching the summer holidays (you can probably guess where this is going) I've had a couple of requests from other school mums for childcare as they are struggling for annual leave. They are not friends. Its more of an assumption that I'll be at home so problem solved.

I say requests, but at this stage it's more that they are putting the feelers out and I know what's coming. I will say no, but it's really fucking stressed me out. AIBU to think this is really cheeky? And can you give me some good comebacks please?

OP posts:
Original poster
Getintoyou · 05/07/2022 18:26

Thanks all. I will say no, but am angry to be put in this position. I'm so stressed at the moment and can't be arsed with conflict.

OP posts:
Leah2005 · 05/07/2022 18:26

I think God , no and a slightly hysterical laugh should stop all enquiries

internetpersonme · 05/07/2022 18:27

No plans doesn't mean an open house! Just say no you can't do it.

And do it now whilst they have time to book summer club etc not let them think its ok until just before.

WFH and I hate this assumption. Having even 1 more child in the house is NOT the same as wfh with my own having a tv / reading day at home!

Original poster
Getintoyou · 05/07/2022 18:31

Yes exactly. Dh will be wfh and he won't want kids roaming around. Ours will happily watch TV when required!!

OP posts:
Happyhappyday · 05/07/2022 18:36

Charge them, or say no.

Beautiful3 · 05/07/2022 19:14

I had this too, "What you doing?" "Nothing I reply". " Oh good, can you please help out with childcare?" "No thanks" I replied. The end. You just need to decline, they're half expecting it.

Ragwort · 05/07/2022 19:19

Agree with others, you just need to say 'no'. I did used to help a couple of friends with childcare but my reasons were - I have an only child so it was actually easier to have a 'play mate' around. The other parents always reciprocated - often with a 'sleepover' so we could go out for the evening. But these were very specific circumstances which worked well for me and my friend. I didn't feel she was taking advantage.

chiffchaffchiff · 05/07/2022 19:38

Other mums are well aware of the difference between spending time with their own children and looking after other people's children. They're hoping for an easy solution but most wouldn't want to be looking after your children if the shoe was in the other foot.

violetbunny · 05/07/2022 19:42

Getintoyou · 05/07/2022 17:48

The thing is they asked me my plans and I said none as I thought they wanted to make plans to go out together. Poor naive me!

Exactly, you have no plans so you want to be able to plan each day ad it comes rather than committing yourself. I'd happily tell them that if they asked.

harriethoyle · 05/07/2022 19:47

AnotherDelphinium · 05/07/2022 18:17

“Oh gosh, sorry, I don’t offer childcare, I looked into it once but the insurance and loopholes were just too much”

That's a great answer 💅

Aquamarine1029 · 05/07/2022 19:47

"It's a firm no, I don't provide childcare for any children aside from my own."

You don't need a comeback. You need to give a very clear and firm NO. And do not say "sorry", you don't owe them an apology.

FabFitFifties · 05/07/2022 20:27

If you must provide a reason OP, your husband WFH is perfect.

CallOnMe · 05/07/2022 20:27

I would definitely nip this in the bud.

However, have you thought of being a childminder?

You won’t be working term time only but you’d be WFH every day so not having to worry about childcare and it sounds like you’d get a lot of business!

Original poster
Getintoyou · 05/07/2022 20:35

However, have you thought of being a childminder?You won’t be working term time only but you’d be WFH every day so not having to worry about childcare and it sounds like you’d get a lot of business!

Ha! I only like my own children!

OP posts:
Original poster
Getintoyou · 05/07/2022 20:35

Thanks everyone! I guess I was just having a vent!

OP posts:
drpet49 · 05/07/2022 20:35

Why on earth are you giving this any headspace? They are not even your friends, just say no:

Salahwalawoowoo · 05/07/2022 20:38

To quote a MN favourite, no is a complete sentence.

Alternatively tell them that yes of course you can have the kids. You charge £200 per day per child to be paid in advance.

SmileyPiuPiu · 05/07/2022 20:39

Just say no. Any reasonable person will be fine with that. You don't owe them childcare.

Rainbowqueeen · 05/07/2022 20:43

Oh I thought you were asking about my plans because you wanted to catch up. DH works from home so it’s not possible to have extra children over for a whole day. Hope you get something sorted.

Said with a big smile. Then change the subject.

greatblueheron · 05/07/2022 20:47

Just say no.

Alternatively, tell them you charge £10 per hour per child, no exceptions, cash up front.

Pick 2 weeks worth of days and make the rest of your summer spending money.

Littlebirdyouaresosweet · 05/07/2022 20:50

Hi cf I have been considering registering with our local council about child minding. If I get sorted I can send you my rates..

Lalosalamanca · 05/07/2022 20:54

I'm blown away with how cheeky people are to ask. Wow.

Ballcactus · 05/07/2022 20:56

“No thanks, this is my annual leave”
And your kids are not my problem

lospolloshermanosass · 05/07/2022 20:56

Are the old Workzilla threads still about?

Thepossibility · 05/07/2022 20:56

I would say “sorry I don't do childcare anymore, I've been burnt before and I promised myself and my family NEVER AGAIN" Then smile and walk away. CFs.