WWYD - Salary or flexibility?

[moneyortime]

Name changed as don't want to link this to other posts.

£45k per annum job - loads of flexibility, only work 4 days - my current job (took step back after children)
£75 per annum job - less flex, full time - potential new job

2 x young children (pre-school). Plenty of savings for emergencies. Generally enough money but not swimming in it! I am the one in the household with the most earning potential - I could keep increasing my salary if I wanted to.

Would you take the money or keep the chilled out life?

I think you need to do what’s right for you. It doesn’t matter what others would do because only you know what you want in your heart. If being there for the kids I’d what you really want then it’s fine to stay where you are. This isn’t the only job that will ever come up. You can think again in a year’s time.

Personally, I would try again to negotiate a bit more flexibility in the £75k job. A half day off a week or a couple of early finishes? You could make the hours up in the evening. I have a demanding job so I know how it goes but I’ve been surprised how flexible companies can be if they really want you.

I’ve just gone back part time after a long stint as a SAHM. Like you, I’ve accepted a lower wage than I probably could push for but have found a lovely local employer who are understanding about sick kids etc. Honestly, right now with two in primary I wouldn’t give up part time in a relatively low stress role for any amount of money (I realise I’m privileged to have this option, but you sound like you are too OP)
I plan to push ahead in my career in 3-5 years and then once they’re both in secondary probably go full time then.
It’s a cliché but they’re only little once. Plenty of time for earning more money.

Both? Priorities home life easier job fhen later go for it

the things you identify as the main pros/cons are not actually what would swing it for me.
you talk about being bored and stagnating, I need to enjoy and be stimulated by my work, I consider it my greatest privilege.
some people gain energy from stimulating work which carries over into family and home life and can become depressed and frustrated by a stagnating career - emotions which also spill over into home life.

It's only about an extra £17k a year in reality, for working an extra day a week and losing the flexibility.

I'd stick with the current job myself.

The money. Save as much as possible, retire early. Kids won't remember much of these years anyway.

I'd stay with the 4 day flexible job.

I just took a job from my safe job and I regretted it.

Went back to my old job but luckily they offered the salty they initially refused to keep me.

Even so, I'd take the new job, save like fuck for 12 months then see where your at.

New doors and all that.

Go for the high salary. Do it for at least a year. if you find you hate it, you can still step down to a flexible job. but if you pass up the opportunity, you may find you can't step up.

I am in an identical position.

Part of me thinks the ideal solution is going full time in the current job to keep the flex. Part of me wants the higher position/pay.

For a decade I've put my career on the back burner - kept working but went part time/didn't push for better positions etc. I feel like it's time to shake off the lethargy but am I ready to lose the flex?

Congrats OP I would take 75k and get more hired help for cooking cleaning etc what ever would make your life easier.

so it’s 80% of a job at £45k or 100% of a job at £75k so really the it’s £56k v £75k at FTE.
A third pay rise but lose the flex. It’s such a hard choice. What would you regret the least? It’s the unknown of the new place, you won’t know til you start what rhe real story is around flexible hours/wfh unless you can speak to your equivalents already working there.

i managed to wangle pick the kids up from school 4 days a week and only go into office 1 day for 80%Fte from my employer. I never thought they would go for it when I asked a year ago and it’s worked relatively well. People at work and outside of work (i work for a FTSE 100 v well known company are often surprised at my set up). I always say you don’t know til you ask/try it out and be willing to accept if it’s not working for either party.

before you know it your kids will be in school and you will want a different set up to what you have currently so think about that as well as the immediate.

and to those people saying you can buy in help as you need it, it’s sooooo hard to find these magical helper people and you spend half your life looking! Find someone and they are done after a few months so it’s not as simple as throwing money at the problem!

What will you wish you had done when the kids have grown up and left home?

Could you take the higher paying job and see how it goes? I know many who went for the flexibility but quickly found the so called flexibility wasn't really there. At least the money is a certainty. You may find when you start the higher paying job isn't as inflexible as you thought.

Chilled out life everytime. I’m sticking at my 4 day job until DD is older. I worked bloody hard to climb the greasy pole before I had her at 41. Now I can’t be arsed with any stress. I might have a crack at full time and a step up when she’s year 6+ but I’ve got a good 7 years of coasting yet.

But I do have a fair amount of financial security with a too notch defined benefits pension. I am also the main earner though.

when my husband in £50k we life okay. But now he is £80k and life sooo much better. Take the money.

Not read the whole thread but just wanted to say research shows time and time again, when you ask children what they want most it’s time with their parents (rather than toys, consoles etc). And since you enjoy your time with DC I’d choose time over money.

With those ages I would take the flexibility hands down any time.

Funny though because I doubt my husband would process it like that.

Do what is best for you. Everything else will work out.

I'd take the role.

In my experience and looking back at 48 years old. with teenagers now they need you more then you think when they are 15+

Because I pushed ahead and juggled I'm able now in a senior director role to manage my time around my almost adult and older teenagers, while my DH is now starting to progress and level for the next 10-15 years.

It's not for everyone, but I feel for you this perspective may help?

But maybe chat to DH as we've always taken turns to be the ambitious one.

If you are being bombarded by recruiters and the job market in your area is good then is it worth holding out for a better paid job with flexibility?

Pre school age I'd pick the flexible role unless you have really really solid childcare options. My DD was always picking bugs up until YR 1. She very rarely gets ill now so I work full time in a less flexible role. OH is the higher earner anyway in our house.

OH is the higher earner anyway in our house.

So it sounds like he went for salary over flexibility? OP is the higher earner in their household so makes sense for them to do the same.

I am currently doing a job like job 1, with one primary aged child. While more money would be good, in fact the flexibility is invaluable. DP is able to help mostly where needed, but also travels often.

I am anticipating staying here until DC can get home
from school independently.

@moneyortime I'm 2 years ahead of you with schooling and am about to do the reverse job move. I found working FT with children in preschool a lot easier than working FT once they'd started school. They don't always want to go to wrap-around care, have activities in the evenings that start before I finish work, and there is so much more going on to mentally juggle. I am about to leave my £60K job for a £40K one that has more flexibility and can't wait!

Someone mentioned starting and then making a flexible working request. This was a route I tried, but was told not only that the job demanded my presence, but that someone on my salary should be working the FT hours, and then as many extra unpaid hours as required to get the job done. It sounds like your new role would be similar.

I also have a partner who can work flexibly, but they still have to work and can't always cover drop off or pick up. We don't have any family locally, so if the kids are sick, we have to see can rearrange their work the easiest to be able to cover childcare. Plus, once they start school their lives become a lot busier to manage, both mentally and physically - multiple daily emails from school, menus to complete, correct uniform to wash and wear, loads of in-school events to ensure they send the correct things in for so they aren't the kid in uniform on non-uniform day, or looking messy in the class photo etc. Plus more activities (that also have kit to prep for), more class birthday parties, generally wanting more of your time and attention. Not to mention that you spend all your free time trying to catch up with laundry, housework, life admin, replacing clothes they've grown out of. Unless you outsource everything with paid help, you don't get to spend your weekends with them either.

These years pass so quickly, and I want to be the one that listens to my kids reading their phonics books each evening, or sees their excitement when they come out of school and are star of the week. Sharing those moments is worth far more to me than the extra salary or pension contributions.

Good luck with your decision.

I went for the lower paid more flexible job, I have just reduced my hours again by a small amount. I’m lucky that my area is fairly well paid so I can do that and still pay the bills.

Unless I absolutely have to due to finances I will not be going back to work fulltime.