WWYD - Salary or flexibility?

[moneyortime]

Name changed as don't want to link this to other posts.

£45k per annum job - loads of flexibility, only work 4 days - my current job (took step back after children)
£75 per annum job - less flex, full time - potential new job

2 x young children (pre-school). Plenty of savings for emergencies. Generally enough money but not swimming in it! I am the one in the household with the most earning potential - I could keep increasing my salary if I wanted to.

Would you take the money or keep the chilled out life?

Thanks for all the helpful responses. What I should say is that I don't want to move on from this role quickly for the sake of my CV. I already did a bit of chopping and changing after having my first baby because I felt a bit directionless. I'd need to stay in this role for 2-3 years minimum - so its big decision.

I wouldn't (and don't) because the first years of school are challenging logistically and emotionally (for the kids). They are loads trickier to manage than the nursery/ preschool days IMO. It's not just the school hours, but also faciliating their social lives, play dates, activities, reading, settling them into the school community etc.

I am in a similar position where I could earn loads more than I do if I went full time and committed more to my career. However, for me and for now, I prioritise the work/ life balance.

People are changing jobs much more frequently post pandemic. Reassess your thinking regarding the "chopping and changing" speak to a recruiter about how it may be perceived.

It's easy for people to say money, because on paper I'd say money- but in reality, allowing my child play dates in the week, not having to do housework after 8pm, being able to gym and see my friends in the evening means a lot to me.

Also, consider why it has to be one of these two. Why not keep looking? It's an employee's job market at the moment. Many aren't advertised as part time/ flexible but they might consider it for the right person. move from flexible part time to unflexible, full time would be a total no from me, but I would I consider flexible full time (e.g. compressed week, wfh, flexibility in managing own time etc).

I wouldn't take the money yet nit at the stage you are at. Pre school and 2 of them.

How stressful will £75k f/T position be? How old are dc? When start school? Is childcare good until then? Are they off often / non sickly?

I currently work 2 days. DH is the main earner in our family, although I’m starting to catch up a bit.

I was recently contacted about another role, paying a bit more, 4 days a week and hybrid working- but the workplace is a city centre without parking. So the days I commuted would be exhausting, and it wouldn’t be so easy to jump in my car and pick up a poorly child.

Although the job would be a great step career wise, I genuinely don’t have the headspace to make that jump right now. I have one year old twins and my eldest is about to start school. If I have a slightly off day, or have had a bad night with the kids I can take it easier at work. There’s also a lot of Schoolmin and visits happening right now with my eldest. Even before they start school, there’s stuff to do, uniforms to sort etc. I can’t imagine going to a brand new workplace, new commute, meeting new people with everything that’s going on.

For me the right thing is to stay put whilst in this stage. But we were talking about maybe a £5k-£10k rise, not £30k. The extra money would be nice but we manage fine.

Could you go back to a flexible, family friendly part time job if you took the higher paying one?

I'd do the less well-paid job until the kids are older - if you have a good earning potential this won't go away in a few years' time as you're still working now.

Excellent advice. If employers are that desperate, they will have to be flexible.

Otherwise, two questions:

• if you decline this role now, will you be able to get in to something similar in a few years time when the children are older (i.e. in secondary school and able to get themselves home)?


• Will you be spending your extra money paying for additional childcare, cleaners, etc?

If the answer to both these questions is yes, then I'd hold off and keep your current job.

No amount of money will get you the time with your children back while they're young.

If you think the career prospects will wait for you, then go for it again while they're older. Or, as above, tell the recruiter that you are happy with the role type but need something more flexible or part time, with a view to increasing hours as the children get older and let them find an employer to suit you.

It's "only" £19k difference when you compare both full time salaries (as the £45k would go to £56k if you did 5 days).
You'll probably pay more tax too.

If I was you I'd work out what extra I'd make each day. Then equate that with potentially missing the school run, etc and that might help you quantify if it's worth it

A man wouldn't hesitate. Take the job, funnel everything over 50 into pension so you can still get child benefit.

When did you last have a pay increase? Can you talk to your current role and see if they'll increase your current wage, or can offer you progression opportunities that may not be so obvious without asking. They don't need to know about the inflexibility of the new place

£30k seems a massive jump for 1 days additional work commitment. Have you spoken to the new job line manager beyond interviews? The flexibility and deadlines don't seem super clear, having an honest chat with them may give you a better idea of their and the companies tolerance towards it. It maybe be better or worse than you imagine.

100%.

A man would not hesitate.

Wouoldn't it be lovely if they would though? So rather than trying to get everyone working all hours of the day and not having a work life balance, that men took part time/ flexible roles so everyone could enjoy time with their families or outside work without being worried about the associations that come with women making that choice....

I don't know what to advise you or what I'd do in these circumstances, but one thing a lot of the responses aren't mentioning is the fact that you think the new job would be more interesting. You say you're bored in your current job. That can be really demotivating - not as bad as being stressed and overwhelmed in my view, but not good either. I think that should be as much of a factor in the decision as money and flexibility.

i’ve just done this and took the role OP - in my case about a £25k increase for moving to 5 days from 4. But I retained the flexibility - hybrid working, can reshuffle hours etc. there’s loads of jobs out there Op and most are now recognising they need to be flexible - I say keep looking, don’t just take the first thing that comes along if it doesn’t feel right.

At this stage I'd say it's more about flexibility and whether you can comfortably afford your lifestyle on your current combined salary.

There definitely needs to be someone to collect from school at once a week and facilitate playdates, go to the myriad of sports days, plays, pick up sick children etc. If your DH is happy to do that and will, think about whether you'll be ok knowing he's looking after them.

Could you negotiate a four day week, either to begin with, or say after a couple of years?

It's a hard one, but having done both, I think flexibility is crucial when you have children.

Being full-time is a grind and you will miss out on so much and forever be stressed over drop off & pick ups/school plays/sports days/sickness etc

Can you not sit tight for now and try to find a more part-time flexible role in your specialist field?

A supportive and flexible partner is worth their weight in gold in this situation. You say your DH is happy to step up, so if I was you I'd take the role.

Not so long ago I would have said the money. But for various reasons I am now in a job that has similar hours and money to your current job. My Dc are a bit older but still at primary school. Honestly, I am so happy - I massively value the flexibility and the day off on the week. Financially we are okay but not raking it in but it's all working out well. I'd go for job A with kids in pre-school ; it doesn't get easier when they get to school.

My DH is so supportive but I also want to be around and spend time with my children.

I lean towards the easier life plus maybe asking for a small pay rise. DH leans towards me taking the job and us making it work. Argh!

What's your job OP? because they are both good salaries. Asking for a friend!

Possibly, if I was you, knowing how young your kids still are, I'd stay put for now, knowing that there's time as they get older to go for the full-time higher salary.

I'd take the job, and hire out the cleaning. Personally I'd like to have the extra money to throw in a pension or to save toward my children's futures or have a nice holiday. Or wait until the littlest is at school and make the jump then if you're concerned about missing out.