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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

TO THINK A TODDLER SHOULDNT BE LEFT IN A CAR ALONE?

84 replies

hifi · 16/01/2008 17:53

went shopping in sainsburys yesterday, loading car and noticed a little girl, about 2 yrs, sat all alone in a smart car. i was parked a good distance from the entrance so she wasnt visible to who ever was caring for her.

i loaded up then sat for five minutes wondering if i should do something, or not.
she looked so sad, i now feel bad that i didnt do anything, or am i over reacting?

OP posts:
WinkyWinkola · 16/01/2008 18:02

Nope. She shouldn't have been left alone. Not just because of the stranger danger thing but because she will have been frightened to be by herself. Imagine waking up and being all alone. Poor soul.

I leave my DCs to sleep in the car in our drive but I can see them from my kitchen sink.

nobodysfool · 16/01/2008 18:04

I dont think your over reacting.How stupid of of the parent to do that.I think i would have called the police to notify them and waited as you did.Makes my blood boil.

nametaken · 16/01/2008 18:08

How lazy and neglectful.

ruty · 16/01/2008 18:14

I would have called the police. It is illegal to leave a child alone at that age.

SheikYerbouti · 16/01/2008 18:16

ya deffo nbu

Dreadful.

What is wrong with putting the child in the trollety and pushing them round the supermarket

smeeinit · 16/01/2008 18:19

your not over reacting, its not right to leave a child in a car out of site. i think a quick pop in to the local shop is ok but shopping in sainsburys!

i had to to pop into waitrose today for something for lunch and i had to take 4 children in with me, took alot longer than if id have just popped in myself but theres no way i could have been able to keep an eye on them from inside the store!

FioFio · 16/01/2008 18:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MAMAZON · 16/01/2008 18:23

YANBU

saw something similar a few months back. though with a very young child of no mor than 8/9 months. she was crying her eyes out.

i waited by teh car for a few moments. then i went inside whilst leaving my mum buy the car.
i asked the customer services to put an anouncment out for teh owner of teh car to return as the baby she had left alone was in distress.

and they did!

the woman waltzed out completley disinterested and as if she couldn't care less that the whole store was giving her filthy looks.

when she came to teh car i told her i was giving her details to social services as i considered this an act of neglect of care.

(of course being an SW i knew there was very little anyone could do about it but i had hoped it would stop her doing it again()

Original poster
hifi · 16/01/2008 18:24

just feel bad , i probably should have gone to customer services and let them deal with it.

OP posts:
Emprexia · 16/01/2008 18:24

YANBU!

If that happens you should either call the police, or take the registration and go in and inform the store Security and Customer services so the parent can be called back to the car.

Or.. both would be better.

edam · 16/01/2008 18:27

poor kid

Nemoandthefishes · 16/01/2008 18:28

YANBU how utterly lazy and neglectful..how would they have felt if said 2yrs old had let themselves out the car and been run over by someone..fecking morons.

DoodleToYou · 16/01/2008 18:45

Message withdrawn

Shaniece · 16/01/2008 18:50

How awful. My DS is 2 and I wouldn't ever leave him unattended anywhere for any reason or for any length of time. You should have done something.

choosyfloosy · 16/01/2008 18:52

Not particularly shocked by this tbh. DS sometimes asks not to come into the shop as he is tired. Admittedly this is now that he is older, and was less likely at 2. I just don't think this is that terrible. [crap mum again emoticon]

hatrick · 16/01/2008 19:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MAMAZON · 16/01/2008 19:03

there is no legal guidlines which is why it is so difficult to do anything about it.

as a rule it would normally be suggested that you shouldn't leave a child under 12 unattended.

if you are parked ina petrol station where it could be argued its more dangerous to remove the child than to leave it, and where you can observe teh child at all times that is one thing.

if you park in a supermarket and do your weeks shopping it is another entirely.

it is a balance of risk.

DoodleToYou · 16/01/2008 19:19

Message withdrawn

ruty · 16/01/2008 19:50

thought it was actually illegal. Should be anyway. Appalling.

theUrbanDryad · 16/01/2008 19:55

i don't think it's illegal.

however, you may JUDGE me as a lazy and neglectful parent as i left ds in the car while i went to pay for petrol as i thought the queue wasn't too long, but i ended up being about 5 minutes because the woman in front of me was on go-slow mode! he was fine though, he was singing to himself when i got back!

go on - JUDGE ME!!! (you know you want to)

SpawnChorus · 16/01/2008 20:00

Maybe she was looking miserable because she was feeling ill and the parent had to go and get Calpol or whatever.

TBH I don't think it's that much of a big deal, and I don't understand why this topic generates so much hysteria.

chrissnow · 16/01/2008 20:02

I leave mine when I pay for petrol. I can see the car ffs. I have been known to wait for the queue to go down before I go in (much to the disgust of people waiting). I wouldn't leave them while I did a supermarket shop though. Poor little love.

Wilkie · 16/01/2008 20:05

YANBU - I can't help but think of Madeleine McCann.

DS has been left in the car on our drive if he is asleep but I can see him, I also leave him in when I pay for petrol but I can see car.

MsHighwater · 16/01/2008 22:15

I would leave my dd in the car only as long as the car is visible from wherever I'm going (for most of the time, anyway) and only as long as I know I won't be long (5 mins tops). Don't think there's anything wrong with that.

I definitely wouldn't leave her while I went into the supermarket, though. It can be a pain but I'd be too nervous while I was away from the car so it would'nt be worth it anyway.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 16/01/2008 22:22

Hmm. Well, assuming that she was doing her weekly shop (which takes somewhat more than 5 or 10 minutes), then yes, she was wrong.

I've taken to leaving DS in the car on occasion because it is more dangerous to take him out (and risk him running out into the road which is his favourite trick at the moment). I've parked outside DD's school and walked her up to the playground and come back (5 minutes tops). Also, tonight, when picking her up from a friends, I left DS in the car in the private car park at the bottom of the maisonette block whilst I went up to the first floor to get DD.

I also leave my two in the car when paying for petrol.

On balance - he's safer in than out. And you'll have to take my word for that since you dont know my DS.