TO THINK A TODDLER SHOULDNT BE LEFT IN A CAR ALONE?

[hifi]

went shopping in sainsburys yesterday, loading car and noticed a little girl, about 2 yrs, sat all alone in a smart car. i was parked a good distance from the entrance so she wasnt visible to who ever was caring for her.

i loaded up then sat for five minutes wondering if i should do something, or not.
she looked so sad, i now feel bad that i didnt do anything, or am i over reacting?

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I regularly leave my sleeping DS's in the car in front of our house. I can see them from all the front windows, and am either unpacking shopping, or check on them every couple of minutes. Have tried baby monitors, but they don't work for some reason They both wake up if moved, and DS2 won't go back to sleep again. So if he has 1 minute in the car, that would be him for the day. I also leave DS2 in the car if it's raining to pop DS1 into pre-school - under a minute. This is about my limit. I would never go into a supermarket and leave them in the car - asleep or awake.

I would probably mention to c/s if somebody left a child in the car outside a supermarket. If DS2 falls asleep enroute to the shops, time permitting, I buy a magazine and a drink from the garage forecourt, and enjoy an hours peace (even a snooze if there is a quiet part of the carpark ) whilst he sleeps.

the onlt time i leave dd2 (20 mths) alone in the car is when im paying for petrol and then i can see her the whole time

I wasn't sure what all the hysteria was about either until last year there were a couple of cases where babies died in over-heated cars.
Seeing as there's no danger of that here in Normandy, I DO do this quite regularly - NO I'm not going to type the embarrassed emoticon.
Most common is on our drive, but I also do it getting the bread in our baker's (car is within sight and everyone in the village knows my car/kids).

I have also (once) done it as some pp mentioned, when I ran into the supermarket chemist to get a prescription for a sick child, (said child had fallen asleep). I felt so sick doing it though that I forced both DS out of the car with me yesterday to do same though. I worry that sth could happen to me and then no-one would know where they were or how to get into the car.

But when you are close-by or somewhere you know I just really don't see the issue - can s/o explain what the big fear is?

BTW - can't believe some people have to justify leaving child in car to pay for petrol - does that mean some people really haul their kids out of the carseats, get the buggy out (or lug heavy child x2) into petrol station just to have them run riot or pester for sweets?????
We don't have the same type of garages in france, you pay from your car.

It's illegal here in Australia. Every summer there are stories about children dying locked in cars. People still do it though - I think it's appalling. www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,23010245-661,00.html

YANBU in that instance. I will occasionally leave 2 toddlers together in car and run in to school with dc 5yo and back. However, both children know where I am going and that I am back in 2 mins. Also, stranger danger not an issue as on a military base. I only do this if it is bouncing down with rain btw and am 30wks pg struggling to keep lifting IYKWIM. I would never dream of leaving a child in a car off camp doing shopping.

yanbu. not one bit. where i live everyones in their own little bubble , i often see parents leave young toddlers in cars whilst they take another one into nursery. the nursery entrance is completely out of site to where they park their cars. yes they might only be gone a couple of minutes..but how long does it take to snatch a youngster? i can't beleive that they take that chance with the thing thats most precious to them..

I saw some children left in a car on their own so I told someone in the shop and they weren't bothered.

I've never done this as we don't have a car, but I STILL won't leave dd in the hall if she falls asleep in the buggy and she's nearly 4-I bring her into the lounge. Weird I know but I just wouldn't want her to wake up and feel abandoned. Poor kiddies that do get left-you hear stories about people stealing cars and joy-riding them without realising that there are kiddies in the back-it's just too scary to contemplate.

mummyvontummy - I suspect those stories could be classified as urban legends

I would not leave my car with dcs in one of L.A.'s urban ghettos, just in case someone wanted to steal it, but then I would not be there anyway .

I would never leave a child or dog unattended in a car in extreme hot weather like that which is normal in all parts of Australia. BTW, they have a particular problem with gambling their and with mothers just popping in to the bookies for a couple of minutes...

In my local village, while paying for petrol or picking up a newspaper I just don't see the big deal. I also think the risks of leaving children in a car while doing supermarket shopping are infinitesimally small compared to the risks of driving them there in the first place. But it still not very kind or responsible and I don't believe I would ever do it.

mummyvontummy - "I STILL won't leave dd in the hall if she falls asleep in the buggy and she's nearly 4-I bring her into the lounge. Weird I know but I just wouldn't want her to wake up and feel abandoned"
How do you leave her at night? Surely she'd just wake up in the hall and cry and you'd go and get her?

I don't think anybody is particularly likely to go joyriding in an estate car (they'd probably choose DH's punto parked alongside over mine!)

Here you go upwind

And here

If I stop at the paper shop and park right outside I will leave both children in, with the car locked, because it's only a couple of minutes and I can see them. I tell my older child I'm only buying a newspaper and will be very quick.

The only time I have had to lock a child in the car out of sight was outside Mamas and Papas because my new buggy broke and I had to return it to get it repaired.

I had to struggle with a new baby and a broken buggy and I didn't have a spare hand to hold my older child's hand to walk across the busy car park (we had parked quite far away because there weren't any spaces). I could only take 1 child and I chose the baby because she is smaller and more portable! I explained to my 3 year old where I was going and that I wouldn't be long and she was OK.

I couldn't have left it until the weekend (when my husband could have helped) because I was stuck without a functioning buggy!

But I think leaving a child while you do your weekly shop is inexcusable. They do have trolleys with child seats in, what more can you expect?

If shopping with a toddler is difficult why not go in the evening or get a babysitter (if she was in a smart car, presumably she could afford one).

or shop online.

How do you know their parent wasn't trying to find a ticket machine that was working or drying a trolley etc.

I have been told off by bloddy busybodies far to much for my liking over the years and as far as I am concerned I am not neglectful in the slightest if anything I am putting my childrens' safety first.

Tsk.

I only leave my daughter in the car unattended when paying for fuel or if running to get a parking ticket because its quite frankly safer, however I saw an article a few weeks ago about a boy who had nearly choked because his mum had left him in the car with sweets whilst going to pay for fuel and his life was saved by another driver. That made me question even that although I wouldn't have left a child with food but it is harder with teenagers I guess.

Think its ridiculous to go and do your shopping and leave the child asleep in the car on their own.

I've left ds in the car when paying for petrol or getting a parking ticket letting him know where I am and in a place I can see him but would never go to a big store and just leave him in the car park, it's just not worth the risk.

but in a bug carpark is different what if sme one was to back into her car?

Did you see the parent return? Presumably the parent was ok and hadn't fallen over somewhere in the car park etc etc?

I used to leave ds3 asleep in the driveway till my SIL pointed out that occasionally cars go up in flames with no good reason. I know it is so unlikely to happen but I think it would be just my luck if it did!

mamazon - you say that as a general rule children under 12 shouldn't be left unattended. Here most of the Year 6 children, and some in Year 4 and 5 walk to school by themselves (average distance about 1/2 mile). I find that a hard idea to get used to as dd is in Year 3 and I can't imagine myself being ready to do that for a while. Do people think this is ok - as I'd expect them to be in far more danger doing that than say being left unattended at home for half an hour.

I've decided not to let my children out of the house ever. I mean what id we are walking past a bush and it self combusts.

It's bloody lunacy to even contemplate it.

tictacto, i was probably there for about 10 mins, you dont pay, plenty of trolleys and a few spaces in mother and child near to the store. is seemed odd they parked so far away.

hifi - did you see the parent return to their car?

I'm reacting because of my own personal experiences Hifi, It's not personal. I guess if people didn't interfere then we'd be complaining that nobody cared.