Pride doesn’t represent me

[Vegansausageroll]

Just been watching Joe Lycett’s big pride party.
It was all sexualised smut. It’s ‘furries’ , kink, drag, sex and innuendos galore. This isn’t all what pride is about! It’s supposed to be about our sexuality and our rights and not being ashamed of who we are. But there is no representation for young people like I was! I want people to be themselves and express themselves but it all just seems so extreme now!

I’m a middle aged gay woman. I like books and countryside walks!

I am very worried about equal rights and the way they are, once again, under threat.
I have nothing in common with the people that now dominate ‘pride’. The last woman’s group I went to has long been shut down, as have the lesbian groups I used to attend back in the day. I’m worried gay youth are being sent a message that their sexuality must be linked to a certain type of ‘lifestyle’ when many of us just want to live a regular life the same as our straight friends - the only difference is the sex of our partners 🤷‍♀️.

Maybe just go and start a chant

what do we want?
errr we, errrr ummmmmm, oh, errrr
when do we want it?
NOW

Joe Lynette put me off sewing bee

A Lesbian walking and reading group isn't sexy enough for channel 4.

They have to shock to get anyone to watch.

My teen DD wanted to watch this as it has the Heartstopper cast on. I sat with her, all I saw were jokes about fisting to off it went.

Not interested in any of it
I have experimented
I do not need to tell the world that I am proud to be what i am

And yet many of the people talking are lesbians and Bi women.

Looking back through the history of LGB activism there were perhaps always two distinct stands, one was trying to assert that Homosexuals were not perverts to be feared, and people didn't need to feel uncomfortable. The other strand was more I'm not ashamed I'm a pervert, sex isn't secret and bad.

To a certain extent I was on board with both but frankly I was always personally more the former rather the latter. Pride materials tend to make it quite clear that whatever kink you subscribe to it's all good, you should be open and proud. Unless your one of those hideous women who is only attracted to other women and want to publicly assert that in which case you can go to hell.

So no a lot of women don't feel welcome at Pride and I'm one of them.

Yanbu op. Pride to me represents a men's rights movement. A movement for exhibitionists and attention seekers. Its no longer a movement against oppression. Quite the opposite now.

I was checking out my social media and contacts (people I know in real life) over the weekend. No one was at pride - all off doing ‘other stuff’ and not a rainbow on sight.

these are people who were bullied, attacked, beaten up, thrown out of bars and clubs, had homophobic abuse at work and from family…

what have the glitter-kids got to contend with? Weeping over someone using the ‘wrong pronoun’ or saying they want single sex loos. crying over Section 28 (like they were even born then) and the AIDS crisis (ditto) and trying desperately to vampire onto these events. Flipping ‘gay’ tourists with the usual ‘angry woman hating man’ attitude thrown in for good measure.

oh and lots of corporate activity. it’s just Mardi Gras for - and I’m betting it’s mostly - straight folx.

What gets on my nerves is the rainbow-washing from corporations and government - from the Home Office, who marked Pride by deporting a gay man to Nigeria where he faced death threats, to Saudi-owned Newcastle football club. So much bullshit.

We might not know you but we do know you are repeating two easily refuted lies as facts. You are either doing that because you are so woefully misinformed it's pathetic. Or because you are willing to lie and misgender the dead in order to push an agenda. I don't know which it is but either way, you need to educate yourself!

Johnson was not instrumental in the riots. Johnson was a man, there is video of him stating very clearly that he is a gay man. And, this is a British site, people here are talking about British politics. The Stonewall Riots weren't actually particularly instrumental to the rights homosexual and bisexual people have in the UK. So even if the New York movement had been started, maintained and finished by 100% transwomen, (it wasn't) they still wouldn't have been responsible for the rights of people in the UK!

Specific to London, but the organisation running it has been criticised a lot (the whole board eventually quit I believe!), and their contract with the Mayor of London is coming to an end. It's going out to tender this month and will almost certainly be lead by new people/a coalition of community organisations. Have a look on www.buildabetterpride.com/

What a load of fabricated buzzword bullcrap.

So, you and your ‘lesbian’ friends like dating male-bodied and penised people. And you’ve never seen any trans people who aggressively attack lesbians (sometimes physically) for saying they are same-sex attracted, get the Ls thrown out of pride parades, post pics of themselves carrying barbed-wire wrapped bats and issue death and rape threats to women, attend feminist events to scream at and intimidate women to ‘suck their dicks’, doxx women and get them sacked from their jobs for claiming biological sex matters, etc, etc. These are all documented and real
happenings with plenty of proof.
Marsha P Johnson, on the other hand, wasn’t trans at all, and actively rejected that identity. She self-identified as a gay man who liked to dress in womens clothes. Using female pronouns was an in-joke and a part of femme and drag male gay subculture in those days. She clearly says this when speaking on recorded interviews. And, she also says she was never at the first Stonewall, she was at a bar, and therefore never threw ‘the first punch’.
Stormé Delarverie, a butch, biracial lesbian (not a transman!) is considered to be amongst the first to act (or even the first) in that context. There were numerous eye witnesses and this, again, is historical fact. Do some real research from real archives and historical material, rather than repeating ‘fake news’ ad infinitum. Please respect the roots of Pride.

Have you actually been to Pride lately?

I am middle aged woman and went on Saturday. I usually don't like big crowds and this is really the first time that I watched the parade properly for a few hours and had a good look at the audience and the participants.

There were all type of people watching and marching. Young people, pensioners, families, couples with their dogs. The vast majority were not wearing anything showy (in fact I was surprised at how conventionally dressed everyone was...).

The parade had groups representing Ukraine, disabled people in wheelchairs, the Labour Party, Battersea Dogs and Cats home and many more charities, including aids charities that have done so much for the community. It was incredibly diverse and good natured.

There was a group of older people who opened the parade with placards that said that they were at the very first Pride and it was incredibly emotional to see them.

I was standing next to young woman in their 20s on one side and another middle age woman on the other. Everyone was having a good time.

The only ''filth'' I saw when I made my way back to Soho was a male couple wearing only heels and a bikini! and you know what? they were stopped every five minutes by women (I assume straight women) who wanted to have a selfie taken with them and they happily obliged every time...I though it was both funny and sweet.

So frankly I don't recognise any of what you are describing but then I keep and open mind and actually allow myself to experience new things rather than stand in judgement...

Pride is now homophobic.

The OP is a lesbian and has been a part of lesbian groups in the past, many of which are now no longer permitted if they exclude males. I think that’s experience enough.

A lot of the comments on this thread are, of course, reminiscent of the tone we've heard for years - why can't you just be normal, tone things down a bit, be a little bit less colourful, a little bit less loud?

Clearly plenty of people did feel represented at Pride, that's why 1 million plus were present and having the time of their lives.

And if all you are seeing is butt plugs and dildos I suggest that is something to do with your focus of attention, as there are hundreds of thousands of boring, ordinary lesbians, bisexual people, gay men, trans people, intersex people etc etc attending these events and enjoying each others company in an inclusive, supportive and celebratory atmosphere. But clearly it suits some people to mischaracterise and misrepresent what actually happens at Pride.

I'm a member of probably one of the largest lesbian social groups in the UK and thankfully we are very welcoming of the trans people who also identify as lesbians and feel our space is right for them. They are valued and loved members of our group. We're not focused on policing each other but supporting each other, as most of us know what it is like to feel excluded and like you don't belong. And yes, some of them are dating other lesbians and nobody else in the group feels any compulsion to lecture any of them on their identity because thankfully we are not comprised of some of the posters present here.

We've also had no issues with any of the trans members we have. (This, unfortunately, is in contrast to some of the issues we have experienced with non- trans lesbians, one of whom we had to speak to recently about inappropriate behaviour to other women. Two newer members of the group have left because of her unwanted attentions.)

It is group with hundreds of lesbians and I would say only 2-3% are trans and this has remained consistent for many years - there is no influx or take-over despite the panic-mongering that some would like to promote.

couples with their dogs

You see, ordinarily, that wouldn’t need any clarification, but when it comes to Pride these days, it could mean anything.

https://mobile.twitter.com/NastySmurfette/status/1142540609481084928?s=19

I'm a member of probably one of the largest lesbian social groups in the UK and thankfully we are very welcoming of the trans people who also identify as lesbians and feel our space is right for them. They are valued and loved members of our group. We're not focused on policing each other but supporting each other, as most of us know what it is like to feel excluded and like you don't belong. And yes, some of them are dating other lesbians and nobody else in the group feels any compulsion to lecture any of them on their identity because thankfully we are not comprised of some of the posters present here.

So you're proudly accepting males into your lesbian group, while excluding actual lesbians who have left because its not a space for them anymore, and you think this is somehow a good thing?

Transwomen are not lesbians. They cannot date "other lesbians" as they are not lesbians. I'm sorry that you have lost sight of your own identity to the point of madness.

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

We have had no women leave because of trans women being members, that is simply a non-issue.

The ones that left recently unfortunately did so because of the behaviour of a non-trans lesbian who felt she could touch these women without their permission. She has been spoken with and has also not returned since that conversation.

So you say. There are also the lesbians who won't join in the first place as you have non lesbian members.

Now that you mention it ... not a single one of my lesbian/gay/bi friends have posted about Pride over the last month on social media. Not a one. I had lesbian friends round at the weekend and no mention, not even a glimmer. Nobody was even wearing colourful clothing, let alone waving flags, throwing glitter, or raving about kink.

The thing is that sexual orientation is for the most part quite accepted. Nobody really cares much anymore. Even the old fashioned reactionaries shrug and move on.

Pride seems to be an event that has lost its cause, forgotten its history - or perhaps had just outlived its usefulness - and the corps and the kinksters have stepped in to the shell to take it over and repurpose it.

What would the reaction be if a group of women admitted that they were uncomfortable with the inclusion of males in the group and that they do not believe males can be lesbians?

They would be told that they have every right to hold whatever beliefs and feelings they hold, but that our group is a welcoming and inclusive space for people that feel that 'lesbian' is the right identity for them, and we expect respectful behaviour from everyone and to everyone present.