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Original poster

Pride doesn’t represent me

378 replies

Vegansausageroll · 03/07/2022 21:58

Just been watching Joe Lycett’s big pride party.
It was all sexualised smut. It’s ‘furries’ , kink, drag, sex and innuendos galore. This isn’t all what pride is about! It’s supposed to be about our sexuality and our rights and not being ashamed of who we are. But there is no representation for young people like I was! I want people to be themselves and express themselves but it all just seems so extreme now!

I’m a middle aged gay woman. I like books and countryside walks!

I am very worried about equal rights and the way they are, once again, under threat.
I have nothing in common with the people that now dominate ‘pride’. The last woman’s group I went to has long been shut down, as have the lesbian groups I used to attend back in the day. I’m worried gay youth are being sent a message that their sexuality must be linked to a certain type of ‘lifestyle’ when many of us just want to live a regular life the same as our straight friends - the only difference is the sex of our partners 🤷‍♀️.

OP posts:
ReneBumsWombats · 04/07/2022 07:24

are only sexually attracted to a person they have a deep emotional connection with

I thought that was demisexuality.

Conflictedunicorn · 04/07/2022 07:25

Stonewall missed a huge opportunity to go global. When there are countries where being LGB is punishable by death, surely instead of becoming the travesty they hate become, they could have stuck to their original purpose and started campaigning in those countries as they did here

letitgo · 04/07/2022 07:26

Vegansausageroll · 03/07/2022 21:58

Just been watching Joe Lycett’s big pride party.
It was all sexualised smut. It’s ‘furries’ , kink, drag, sex and innuendos galore. This isn’t all what pride is about! It’s supposed to be about our sexuality and our rights and not being ashamed of who we are. But there is no representation for young people like I was! I want people to be themselves and express themselves but it all just seems so extreme now!

I’m a middle aged gay woman. I like books and countryside walks!

I am very worried about equal rights and the way they are, once again, under threat.
I have nothing in common with the people that now dominate ‘pride’. The last woman’s group I went to has long been shut down, as have the lesbian groups I used to attend back in the day. I’m worried gay youth are being sent a message that their sexuality must be linked to a certain type of ‘lifestyle’ when many of us just want to live a regular life the same as our straight friends - the only difference is the sex of our partners 🤷‍♀️.

What about the two ladies? One of them is a sports commentator?

BalloonsAndWhistles · 04/07/2022 07:26

Joe Lycett is just very OTT but I do agree with what you’re saying. I caught a bit of it and I thought it was ridiculous so I stopped watching.

bellinisurge · 04/07/2022 07:31

The alphabet soup is a load of bollocks to make boring people sound interesting.

LGB people are actually oppressed all over the world.
People who don't fancy it much and who have glitter nail varnish aren't.

WarriorN · 04/07/2022 07:32

ReneBumsWombats · 04/07/2022 07:24

are only sexually attracted to a person they have a deep emotional connection with

I thought that was demisexuality.

And a very normal healthy way to be.

Therefore pride has been taken over by straight people.

rwalker · 04/07/2022 07:35

I think many events don't represent the majority of the demographic they support . But they do support a portion of them .
But in all honesty if you they changed pride to represent people as you describe yourself what about the people who feel the current version represents them.
The old saying you can't please everyone .

bellinisurge · 04/07/2022 07:38

"But in all honesty if you they changed pride to represent people as you describe yourself what about the people who feel the current version represents them."

Exhibitionists and narcissists do alright most of the year. They'll cope.

CandyLeBonBon · 04/07/2022 07:42

Last time I went with my DD it was a sea of dildos and butt plugs. I'm no prude but for me it's supposed to be a celebration of the equality of love - reducing it simply to the sex act seems very reductive to me.

mangomuncher · 04/07/2022 07:43

SweetMeadow · 03/07/2022 22:29

YANBU. I just felt it was sad in a way that the programme seemed to reduce everything down to sexual activity and innuendos. There is so much more to celebrate then that and I wouldn’t consider myself a prude but I was embarrassed just watching it so turned it off.

Something else that struck me on another programme, think it was 50 years of Pride, was that in the opening credits, it was mostly men shown.

Yes exactly this. YANBU OP, not at all. It's a dangerous time for lesbians & women.

CulturePigeon · 04/07/2022 07:46

I agree, OP. My gay male friends say the same - they don't see themselves reflected in the whole Pride thing.

Not everyone is a massive extrovert who wants to push their sexuality in everyone's faces. When will they get that? It's so stereotyping - and an old stereotype at that.

It's as though heterosexuals were to be represented by extreme examples (eg very explicit 'practitioners', porn stars etc). Very alienating!

stayingpositiveifpossible · 04/07/2022 07:46

rumred · 04/07/2022 03:56

I've been going to various prides since the 80s and still go to the small ones. The big city ones are shit, purely about profit.

unfortunately out rights as gay people are precarious. We've just seen with roe vs wade how rights can be lost. Not to mention backwards countries where women and gay people are openly persecuted.

so I will continue to support local prides because I don't want to lose my hard won rights and I want my tribe to remain visible. I don't have to agree with all participants but my voice and views matter too.

I donated some money to ours. I think the main falling down this year personally was the fact that there was no march.

This was because of Covid. I had gone on the last march before Covid and it was great and I felt enthused the whole thing with an enitrely different vibe.

balalake · 04/07/2022 07:47

When Joe Lycett is hosting something I'd expect smut, as you term it. The main point you make is very valid, especially if the gay man in my family and all the lesbians and gay men I know at work or in other parts of my life are representative.

Antarcticant · 04/07/2022 07:50

I am bisexual and have no interest in Pride. I prefer just to get quietly on with my life.

Ramblingnamechanger · 04/07/2022 07:54

Never go these days due to the fact that it is now about something else entirely. We were never consulted about whether we agreed that straight males with fetishes should be part of the LGB , and the sheer hatred of women and lesbians shown by that group is now so clear . The TQ++ has nothing to do with us, we reject woman face, we reject appropriation , we reject misogyny. The only point of going now is to protest what It has become.

GoodThinkingMax · 04/07/2022 08:14

It was all sexualised smut. It’s ‘furries’ , kink, drag, sex and innuendos galore. This isn’t all what pride is about! It’s supposed to be about our sexuality and our rights and not being ashamed of who we are.

'Twas ever thus.

I lived in Australia in the 1980s where Gay Mardi Gras was huge. It was run by "camp" gay men for a sort of Priscilla Queen of the Desert vibe.

There was outright hostility from them towards lesbians, who were seen as boring and too political. Some awful stuff went on, frankly, including banning certain "types" of women from the Mardi Gras after party, and publicly trash-talking lesbians.

Gay men can still be misogynists.

BuffyFanForever · 04/07/2022 08:14

Ramblingnamechanger · 04/07/2022 07:54

Never go these days due to the fact that it is now about something else entirely. We were never consulted about whether we agreed that straight males with fetishes should be part of the LGB , and the sheer hatred of women and lesbians shown by that group is now so clear . The TQ++ has nothing to do with us, we reject woman face, we reject appropriation , we reject misogyny. The only point of going now is to protest what It has become.

Couldn’t agree more 👍

GrowlingManchego · 04/07/2022 08:17

I agree OP. The smaller local version of Pride is ok, and more like Pride used to be, but I wouldn’t go to the city Pride marches any longer.

SpookyButTrue · 04/07/2022 08:17

Joe Lycett has always been at the 'Oooeer Missus!' end of the spectrum.

He's a walking, talking Carry On film.

DillonPanthersTexas · 04/07/2022 08:22

Last time I went with my DD it was a sea of dildos and butt plugs. I'm no prude but for me it's supposed to be a celebration of the equality of love - reducing it simply to the sex act seems very reductive to me

Most of my gay mates have echoed similar sentiments. They do not feel particularly represented and often criticise the near body fascism and overt sexual content. As one of them told me (paraphrasing), "I'm a tubby mid 30s surveyor bloke who like football, food and long walks who just happens to fancy other blokes, I don't spend my time away from the office dressed in a gimp mask and waving a dildo about".

ChagSameachDoreen · 04/07/2022 08:27

Conflictedunicorn · 04/07/2022 07:25

Stonewall missed a huge opportunity to go global. When there are countries where being LGB is punishable by death, surely instead of becoming the travesty they hate become, they could have stuck to their original purpose and started campaigning in those countries as they did here

I guess the money from the trans lobby was too tempting to refuse.

penpalgal · 04/07/2022 08:28

As a straight woman I've been to quite a few pride marches in the past, for the partying and to support friends. I saw a bunch of teens obviously coming from Pride yesterday in the train station, with flags etc. I saw what was obviously a trans boy and a few trans identifying males. My main instinct was to avoid giving them any attention at all, to not want to even look at them, so I put my shades on. I felt sad not only for these kids and what they're getting themselves into, but at my reaction to an event that previously would have had my full support. It feels like gender identities are what music tribes goths etc used to be for my generation, only this is so much more dark and has so many more risks to mental and physical health. It feels like a lot of these kids are just out to shock and get attention. I can't get behind kids who are still figuring themselves out and probably having a lot of mental health issues, as I also did at that age, permanently altering their bodies and buying into such an aggressively misogynistic and fantasist ideology at such a vulnerable time in their lives, I just can't.

KittenKong · 04/07/2022 08:29

Unless demanding equality (eh?) for gimp masks in the office , man babies in the board room and blokes in glittery harnesses jiggling his moobs and twerking to patients in the ward - what’s it for?

again I’m asking - where was the ‘solidarity with our brothers and sisters in Saudi’ (or are they still pondering the use of the troublesome words ‘brothers and sisters’).

KittenKong · 04/07/2022 08:36

‘out to shock and get attention’ ah yes, my old office used to have a few young folk around like this (nearish Soho and university).

The most common would be a young men in a bright/sparkly dress jumping around or speaking very loudly, then when anyone looked in their direction ‘OMYGOD WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!!!’, or rather sad looking young women dressed like a cartoon character with lots of pronouns badges in tears/in high dudgeon (for some reason I saw this a few times when they were flagging down the local police/street enforcement officers).

Weird tribes…

The three ‘regular’ trans people (old males in skirts and wigs, one in a sari) who have been around for donkeys years - they just go about their business, and seem to try to avoid interactions.

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 04/07/2022 08:45

antelopevalley · 03/07/2022 22:51

Pride was about activism and then from the eighties also celebrating. Read about the history. There has always been tension between the two.

Got to love this! So many posts from women who were at Pride in the 80s... and yet they are being told to read about it to find out what it was they were out there for!

This is what masquerades as knowledgeable these days - go and read some bastardised crap on t'internet (presumably Stonewall is acceptable) and forget what you actually experienced. Cos Post Truth is Truth!