Pride doesn’t represent me

[Vegansausageroll]

Just been watching Joe Lycett’s big pride party.
It was all sexualised smut. It’s ‘furries’ , kink, drag, sex and innuendos galore. This isn’t all what pride is about! It’s supposed to be about our sexuality and our rights and not being ashamed of who we are. But there is no representation for young people like I was! I want people to be themselves and express themselves but it all just seems so extreme now!

I’m a middle aged gay woman. I like books and countryside walks!

I am very worried about equal rights and the way they are, once again, under threat.
I have nothing in common with the people that now dominate ‘pride’. The last woman’s group I went to has long been shut down, as have the lesbian groups I used to attend back in the day. I’m worried gay youth are being sent a message that their sexuality must be linked to a certain type of ‘lifestyle’ when many of us just want to live a regular life the same as our straight friends - the only difference is the sex of our partners 🤷‍♀️.

Yanbu.

YANBU

I agree. I find it strange. Like it has to be a statement about a big, bold personality, rather than celebrating diversity.

Pride is corporate, capitalist bullshit these days... Small town prides are often more grass roots.

There are plenty of us like you out there. If you'd like to find a welcoming women's groups look up Roadtrippers 😊

I’ve been following this a lot on twitter and think it’s interesting to see what pride used to stand for vs what it stands for today.

it seems to be a huge shift from lesbian and gay rights to identity - whether that’s kink, gender, trans issues etc.

there was a thread from an asexual woman who said that for the past 50 years pride had stood for her, which was interesting as the original pride was about sexuality and clearly being asexual is an absence of any sexual attraction

I feel like the LGBTQ+++ acronym has spread its wings so far now that there are barely any groups that it doesn’t include and that hugely waters down the original purpose of Pride

i also feel deeply uncomfortable with the TRA representation which is inherently homophobic - denying sex based attraction means there is no homosexuality and the implication that having genital preference is transphobic. This then pitches 2 sub groups against one another and doesn’t represent the cohesive feel that this event is meant to stand for.

I don’t know what the answer is but I feel for you. Lesbians and women pushed out of their place isn’t new now is it.

YANBU. It's all gone wildly out of control.

I have many gay friends and they absolutely do not bother with Pride…they are actually offended by the whole concept..my friends are just people who are getting on with their lives!

Pride is not about 'celebrating'. It is about protest and activism for people who are not heterosexual. Not only is it still illegal and unsafe to be LGBTQI in some countries, it's unsafe. Homosexual and trans people are more like to be murdered, assaulted and discriminated against all over the world.

I suppose it's like the St Patrick's Day parade and Notting Hill Carnival aren't representative of ordinary members of the communities they represent. If you take away the spectacle and celebration you might be left with a rather earnest event?

YABU, it’s a Joe Lycett show on Channel 4, for god’s sake, not a BBC think piece.

Different venues run lots of seperate events during pride. I’ve seen libraries start LGBTQ+ book clubs or once-off book group meets, I’ve seen lesbian cat cafe adoption events, and by us there’s a family fete that runs seperate and parallel to the parade.

If the lesbian groups you frequented have dwindled to nothing, ask yourself if you’re looking in the right place (these things often move platforms or just move online - from Facebook to Meetup to Bumble)

And if you think you’re not being represented, be the representation. Start a group. Do the outreach.

I'm not sure if you understand asexuality. Some asexual people do have sexual relationships, but have a much lower sex drive or are only sexually attracted to a person they have a deep emotional connection with. Or they may have little to no interest in sex but do experience romantic feelings and have romantic partners. They will be hetero, homo or bi/pan romantic.

Rad Fem politics are a slur on pride.

As a lesbian I've yet to meet a trans woman who makes me feel uncomfortable. I do not know any trans people who don't respect the sexuality and choices of others.

I know lesbians who are happy to date/have relationships with trans women.

One of the key activists in the stonewall riots was Marsha P Johnson. Without trans women we may never have had gay pride events. Please respect the roots of pride.

yanbu, gay friends of mine have distanced themselves with pride now due to the overall trans representation of it all, they don’t feel represented at all.

i myself have noticed in recent days TikTok’s of parades just show a couple of lesbians and the rest are gay(?) men prancing about with very little clothing on, interestingly the lesbians were fully clothed and it just seemed to be the men who were behaving like complete exhibitionists.

You are Judith Butler and I claim my five pounds.

So if I go to a Pride March protesting that my rights as a lesbian woman are being threatened by trans activism, will I be welcome?

I think that’s a slightly outdated meaning isn’t it, as there are lots of words now to mean things like romantic attraction but no sexual attraction. Either way, i don’t believe the original pride was meant to represent asexual people.

This is kinda my point about sexuality vs identity too.

I'm with you OP.

Mid-30s and no longer fit in the community (though often wonder if I ever did).

I haven't attended a pride in donkeys years as it's just a big piss up and a parade. I feel myself crawling slowly back in the closet as the world goes to shit and my human rights and the safety I used to feel they gave me as a queer woman erode, and our foreign brothers and sisters are slaughtered for falling in love. But we're ok so let's get drunk? No thanks.

I don't know, I don't go to Pride as it's viewed as a celebration of all by straight people.

I'd like to think you'd be welcome to peacefully protest though I'd be disappointed and disheartened to see you there. Trans people are as authentic as we are.

YANBU. I just felt it was sad in a way that the programme seemed to reduce everything down to sexual activity and innuendos. There is so much more to celebrate then that and I wouldn’t consider myself a prude but I was embarrassed just watching it so turned it off.

Something else that struck me on another programme, think it was 50 years of Pride, was that in the opening credits, it was mostly men shown.

According to the people who knew Marsha P Johnson and were there at the time, he was most definitely NOT trans. Rewriting history does not make it true.

You know me not. However, anyone who feels the need to denigrate and 'claim their £5' has lost my respect regardless of the topic. So tedious when someone is interested in feeling smug rather than discussing something with an open mind.

Sorry but lesbians are females who are sexually attracted to other females.

Trans women are males so by definition can't be lesbians. To say otherwise is homophobic

As a young bisexual I agree OP. Pride looks incredibly blokey and kink centric to me, and I don’t think I’d feel comfortable.

I love the film Pride though!

And yeah Marsha P Johnson was neither at Stonewall nor trans.

YANBU. I’m a similar age to you and bisexual. I haven’t bothered with pride for a long time. I don’t feel like I am represented. I also really struggle with the LGB being lumped into a group with the TIQ+. I have never questioned my gender identity nor wanted to change it, I don’t know how I connect to that community just because I am attracted to people who are the same gender as me. As a bisexual middle age woman I feel very invisible and wish there was a community I could connect with.