DH and I went out for a drive in my car today which is unusual as we normally go out in his. As I pulled into our drive at about 1mph, a wasp flew into the car and I ducked somehow managing to graze his tyre. There’s no damage to the tyre or even the paintwork but he went ballistic. He basically asked me what I’d have done if I had been driving at 30 on a busy road because most normal people would’ve have hit the brakes. He also reiterated that I hit a curb by a school an hour earlier. He said he’s pissed off he pays insurance for a car I hardly drive and when I do, I make stupid errors.
Just for context, I used to be a very confident driver. These past two years have broken me. I lost my Dad, Gran and Grandad in the space of a year-and-a-half. I gave up a job I loved because of COVID (long story). I had a nervous breakdown during lockdown. Then our landlord decided to sell up and we’ve had to move. I’ve struggled a lot with juggling home and work life and in May, I was finally diagnosed with ADHD. It’s at the forefront of my mind every time I drive but I’ve asked DH to support me with it as it’s not something I want to give up.
Unfortunately, I messed up as per usual and now my confidence is even lower. Overheard my colleagues slagging me off yesterday, too. I feel like my best will never be good enough so why try? I’ve shut myself in my room and now I can’t stop crying. DH is downstairs with DS and he just walked in and sarcastically asked me when I’m going to go downstairs and give him a hand. He knows I’ve been crying!