He keeps me on the back burner..

[Kitkatkrunchy]

Feel so fed up.

The man I am seeing just wants to keep me on the back burner. I feel like he only wants to see me when he wants to. If I ask it’s always a no and an excuse until he decides otherwise. He expects me to always be there when he wants me. Sometimes he will message me at 10pm to come round.

He blows hot and cold and I never know where I stand with him. I’ve told him a few times that we should stop seeing each other as I don’t think he is interested and he always says something to convince me to carry on seeing him but then we are back to square one. What should I do?

Erm ditch him?

walk away from him

Thanks. I’ve tried a few times but he makes me feel guilty about it or he will change the subject or say something to make me stay

Ghost the bastard!

He is not the one for you. Chuck him back. If he was right, he would be keen to see you and make plans. This will have a detrimental effect on your self esteem if you carry on with him!

Move on. And block him. Stop wasting your damn time.

You don’t need his agreement to end it. ‘I’m sorry this isn’t working for me. Goodbye’ BLOCK

Dump block delete. That's really all you need to do op. You are the one making it difficult when it really isn't.

Block delete and forget him

Don't give him the chance to make you feel like shit over the crumbs he throws you

Do it today and then celebrate the power and joy of taking control of the situation and not letting any man treat you like this ?

Today

You want a relationship, he wants FWB. Neither of you are U, you just want different things.
tell him you’re not interested in FWB, then ignore him and don’t respond to any more 10pm invitations

Dump him. Your self worth will improve without him in your life.

Don't let him guilt trip you into staying.

I spent far too much energy and time on a twat like that, ripped myself to shreds thinking I wasn't good enough. Walk away with your dignity and self confidence intact.

You have full autonomy of your actions. Walk away, block him and please raise your bar. You deserve better

Have some self respect. He has too much power in your head for very little return.

As the wise people upthread have said block him. He can't make you feel guilty if he can't contact you. And something tells me he won't be arsed to write you a 'I've been a fool, I want you back' love letter.

Move on you are worth more.

Dump him and block him

OP you posted with the title 'He keeps me on the back burner' when it should be titled 'I let myself be kept on the back burner'...

He cannot 'make' you stay with him to be treated like shit, only YOU can allow that.

You know he can be charming and can 'talk you round' if he gets the opportunity, so just don't give him the bloody 'opportunity' !

Block his number. Block him on all SM. Refuse to answer the door or communicate with him in ANY way.

That's the sure fire way to get rid of a prick like him. 3 simple steps.

It's simply up to you if and when you've finally had enough of being no more 'important' to him than a used Kleenex.

Get rid of him, it isn’t going to go anywhere. You can only be treated the way you allow people to treat you. Don’t let people treat you like your feelings are not important because they are.

He keeps you on the back burner because you allow him too. Block and delete. You won't meet anyone nice while your hung up on him. You deserve better.

You’ve spotted that there’s a pattern here. There’s no reason to think this will change - and it definitely won’t if you keep giving in. Learn from experience and don’t let yourself get talked back into it.

When it comes down to it there's no trying involved. Do it, stick to it, don't speak to him again. Changing the subject is a stupid tactic. Don't let him. He can't make you stay, not really. Be done and mean it. Don't allow him to talk you round.

If you must a quick message to say this isn’t working for me I wish you all the best
then block him
but know your worth and waste no more time on this drip

Don't let men undervalue you, don't accept last minute invites, not knowing what you are to him etc. start putting some boundaries in place, if this means they won't see you then you can do without selfish men. Surely you'd rather have a man respectful of your time that wants to put in the effort in planning a date with you.

Not a last minute hook up because he's bored and horney.

Thank you everyone. I realise I am allowing him to carry on doing this. I feel like an option and it’s made me feel very insecure and not good enough and every time I see him I feel worse but whilst I’m with him it feels good.

I am just sad because it took me a while to build up the courage to meet him because I hadn’t dated in a long time and I wish I didn’t

I sent him a message and he came online as I sent him. It must have been to check who messaged as he doesn’t have on screen notifications that show the message.

He didn’t click on my message and went offline so clearly he felt it wasn’t worth checking

He puts you on the Blackburner
But that ain't the problem ..
The problem is that you let him!

Stop texting/seeing this man asap. Raise your standards. You are better than this. You deserve better than this. This man should give you happiness. Not make you feel unhappy and insecure.

Cut him loose.