Why don't men ask questions?

[skinnylov]

Speaking to a guy on Facebook (I know him in real life) and he's got good conversation but only talking about himself. Doesn't ask me any questions at all, ever. Maybe a 'how are you' but nothing after that.

I find it very bizarre as he seems keen to continue the conversation.

1 man on Facebook = all men. Ok then.

Oh ffs. I've had it many times over the years but of course I will change it to SOME PEOPLE. You've an attitude problem.

You should have phrased that as a question!

I don't have this with the men i know, or my women friends. I know that some people lack social skills, but when it's one sided like that i walk away.

You've an attitude problem.
Well that's not a surprise, seeing as I am a man, is it?

Hi OP, I am with you on this. Not all men, obviously. But many, many men are incredibly self absorbed and only think about themselves.

Forget this guy you're talking to. No point analysing. He's a selfish arse. He's just using you for company and not interested in you. If he is, he has a funny way of showing it.

Who said it's for women?? It's a parenting sight

Mally100 It's in the title of the website.

I won't be replying anymore as I don't want to derail OP's thread.

OP, you might find it better to post on the relationships board.

Not all men, obviously. But many, many men are incredibly self absorbed and only think about themselves

This. I know a man who capitalised on this. He realised that the above was too common, and despite not being the best looking bloke in the room, he decided to make this his USP. He was/is really interested in what his female friends/potential partners have to say. He is very successful with women, and is generally punching well above his weight.

He's not a good conversationalist or he's not interested in you.

Not all men are like that, not at all, that's quite. massive generalisation. He's not asking questions because he's not interested in you as a person. His only interest in you is that you're willing to listen to him.

Do you really want to engage with someone who has zero interest in you? I've dealt with a few people like that and it always feels like having a speakerphone infront of me that you can't turn of.

I grew up in an culture (more at school than home) in which it was considered kind of nosy and rude to ask questions without good reason. The response to one would usually be defensive or rude back. I still find it hard to actually ask normal friendly questions. The way to invite sharing in conversation was to say something yourself and then leave an opening for the other person to share something similar. I now realise how odd that is!

What a sexist comment! Imagine if a man made a similar judgement on all women based on one interaction?

Not all men are like that… let it go, let him go, and keep looking for what you want

He’s not a good conversationalist if he only ever talks about himself.

IME, I’ve met plenty of men who are genuinely very interested in me. But then I’ve also been fortunate enough to mostly get to know decent men.

Yeah I've noticed this too, with more than just one man, don't ask questions or show interest in you at all and talk about themselves.
It's like they (those men, not all men 👀) want a fan club rather than a friendship or relationship or in fact anything that resembles a two way street where the person they're talking to is on an equal footing.

I thought this was going to be about not asking for directions, or asking the staff if they can't find something in a supermarket.

YANBU.
You encounter this a lot on the dating scene.
Ditch!

I was also brought up to be quite careful with questions - I don't ask many socially, unless they're really mundane or in line with the conversation topic and not at all personal. But that doesn't mean I talk about myself all the time - you can use very open / nonspecific questions to balance the conversation and give the other person space to direct the conversation their way too.

I wouldn't worry about a bloke who didn't ask a lot of questions, but I wouldn't like one who monopolised the conversation and didn't allow me to participate equally. I've known men in both categories, to be fair.

You'd better have a word with the people who run the site then because they're clear that it absolutely is not a site "for women".

Hi OP

I'm with you. Not all men obviously, but I'm doing on line dating at the moment and it's noticeable to say the least. I'm sure there are also plenty of women out there like this too but I'm not dating them.
I'm not even talking about out of context questions. More like 'where did you grow up?' (for example) and the response will rattle on about themselves and turn into something about them rather than the question being reciprocated.
Yes you could say that they are the wrong man in that case. Which they doubtless are - but sometimes you don't find this out until you meet them.

There have been one or two occasions when I've wanted a man to stop asking so many questions because it felt like I was being subjected to the Spanish Inquisition rather than just having a chat. Some of them want an answer so they can disagree with it and point out why you're wrong, so to be honest I'd much rather let them witter on about themselves all the time.

That's a bit general. My husband asks loads of questions, as do most men I know!