Why don't men ask questions?

[skinnylov]

Speaking to a guy on Facebook (I know him in real life) and he's got good conversation but only talking about himself. Doesn't ask me any questions at all, ever. Maybe a 'how are you' but nothing after that.

I find it very bizarre as he seems keen to continue the conversation.

www.stylist.co.uk/relationships/dating-love/dates-not-asking-women-questions/581250

I can’t imagine why he isn’t interested in learning more about you.

Things evolve. Carphone Warehouse doesn’t only sell car phones anymore.

I get it OP. My ex was like this. Never asked me any questions. I always had to bring something up about myself. Even after a decade together I doubt he knew much about my background as he never asked one question about me and my upbringing. He didn’t ask anything about what was going on in my life at the moment either. It was very draining. I feel like if someone cares enough they ask questions and want to know more about you.

however I dated men that were curious about me as well so its just hit or miss.

I've experienced this too. What's strange is when I'm talking to a guy who doesn't bother asking any questions or make much effort to keep the conversation flowing, but then they'll get peeved off when I inevitably stop conversing with them.

I usually read that situation as they're not interested in me enough to make any effort, just interested enough to want to keep me as an option.

Get a life! And a grip. If this is all you have to be upset about then I envy you.

Hi @skinnylov we hope you're getting some helpful responses but do let us know if you'd like us to move your thread over to the Relationships board as suggested by another poster.

🙄

Sorry the 🙄 was to the bloke upthread

You have a better imagination than me. I just cannot imagine for the life of me imagine a man making a sexist comment.
I'm trying till my brain hurts....but no....nothing...

I think there are people who need to be actively taught how to have conversations and if this doesn't happen they simply can't do it. As for the male/female aspect I think as a society we expect better social skills from women and are harsher on them which means more men get away with not being so good at this.

I think often they're not fussed about much beyond your physical appearance, at least at first. If they think you're hot it's not going to matter one way or another where you work or that you enjoy origami. Some just have enough social awareness to know it goes down better if they feign interest.

My Dad is like this.

'How are you?'
'Fine thanks'
.....
'I'm good too!' 🙄

Poor social skills abound.

I dont know any women like this.

DP and friend's DP are like this too. My DP is a narcissist- he was brought up to believe that he was the best thing that ever walked the earth, and friend's DP is an elite athlete and I think by necessity it goes with the territory.

I've known a few people like that,

some people thats how they are with everyone, and they are self absorbed and boring to talk to because it feels like being forced to listen to their podcast rather than a conversation.
For some other people they only did that when they didn't care about the other person, or didn't want to be talking, its still rude and boring but it may be temporary.

Every man I've ever known.

Two guinea pigs were offered for sale on a local selling site (not in the UK). All in cage etc. We had been talking about getting the kids rabbits - so DH said I can take you there now and get tonight.

He arrives home - two male guinea pigs.

Are they related?
Do they get on?
How old are they?
Are they tame?
Any ailments?
Any dietary requirements?
Any likes or dislikes?
When is the best time to feed them?

None of the above

I said, did ask any questions, he replied 'Of Course I did, how much?'.

I don't recall any men like that. I was also on a dating site about a decade ago and if anything, there were far too many questions!

Because lots of men are very stupid and think women will be impressed by them if they just keep talking about themselves. They don’t realise women are people with their own interests and achievements.

I’m a woman, but I think I do this too. I prefer a conversation to be where people volunteer relevant conversational snippets, sparked off by the conversation itself, rather than a Q&A format. I’ve learned to ask questions at suitable points but it’s lovely if it just flows naturally. Also, I find that questioning, if done wrongly, can come across as rude/prying/one-upmanship. I think that each party should take a role to ensure that the conversation is balanced.

When men talk to other men, I think we expect if the other person has something interesting to say - then they will do so, no need to ask them if they have something they want to share.

I think it’s either 1) not interested enough in you or 2) assumes he can offer much, much more to you than you can to him. Either way, find a better one.

This is absolutely true, but it's not unique to men.

I find this with both sexes. People like to talk about themselves. They want you to know all about them. They'll answer your question, then wait for you to ask them another. That's a conversation for them.

Is this an OLD thing? When you say Facebook do you mean dating?

Ive found that alot on OLD (not tried Facebook dating but other sites). If the man makes no effort to ask questions or move the conversation forwards I just stop messaging.

There rarely seems to be a happy medium where people make the effort but don’t go freakily overboard, sending loads of too strong messages.

Whole thing is a nightmare tbh

I find it depends on the person, I've had it with both men and women not often but I wouldn't say more men do it than women.