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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to organise summer holiday activities

83 replies

craggydragon · 03/07/2022 08:09

Summer holidays coming up and honestly I am craving the lockdowns again because the thought of dragging the kids out for activites and day trips in the heat is stressing me out. I've not been feeling well recently and am so tired, I just can't face it. AIBU for thinking we can just stay at home and play in the garden for a few weeks? I am very lucky to have a nice garden. But I feel guilty for thinking the kids will miss out, or that I will be wasting one of the "18 summers" I keep reading about. I'm also not the kind of mum who constantly sets up fun home-based activities like the 5-min mum stuff. I don't like baking... I read to them and get the pens out...

Truly I am happy to hear if I ABU. I've lost sight of what's ok.

OP posts:

carefullycourageous · 03/07/2022 15:52

FancyFelix · 03/07/2022 12:32

18 summers? Most kids are in childcare, what message is this sending them? I wish so called experts would stop idealising childhood and realise that there's many ways to raise children (well) and the luxury of a stay at home (or term time only) parent without illness or disability who can also afford these extravagancies is actually rare.

This is exactly what I was thinking.

I also think the pressure put on people to 'live their best life' is exactly the kind of toxic message that is driving the mental health crisis in both young people and parents.

Being a happy, fulfilled, creative and resilient person is not dependent on having Instagrammable days out.

billy1966 · 03/07/2022 16:04

Cutting your cloth to your circumstances is wise.

Your children being loved and cared for is a priority.

"Experiences" are not.

Please don't allow your peace to be taken by beating yourself up completely unnecessarily.

One summer I had a new born and was ill, we never went anywhere and it would never occur to me to feel bad about this.

The children didn't suffer a jot.
They were well looked after and we did our best as parents.

End of.

neverbeenskiing · 03/07/2022 16:14

OP, I work TTO so will be at home with my 3 year old and 8 year old all summer and I also have a condition that causes chronic pain (am on waiting list for surgery) so I understand where you're coming from. Its not easy. My attitude is that I want them to have a nice time but I'm not the Entertainments Manager. They've got plenty at home and in the garden to play with so I expect them to amuse themselves some of the time. But I know that six weeks at home would be too much, for me as well as them, We will do the odd day trip but probably save these for weekends when DH can join us. In the week we'll mostly stay local (parks, picnics, visit friends, swimming etc). I have booked the older one into a week long drama workshop in August as that's her thing and she does get bored. Would something like that be an option for your eldest? Are you friendly with any of your DC's Mums? If I knew one of my Mum friends was poorly I'd definitely offer to have her DC round for a plsydate over the holidays and wouldn't expect her to reciprocate.

stayingpositiveifpossible · 03/07/2022 16:21

Most of us parents get tired towards the end of term. It has been one hell of a couple of years picking up the slack from schools/colleges not functioning 100 per cent and worries post Covid.

You are very, very blessed to have a garden.

In your place I would plan to make it the best and nicest place you could possibly make it. Later on when they are in exam stress etc you (and they will appreciate it).

Having said that - after flopping at the end of term for a weekend - I would introduce some structure too, as others have said. A few days out if you can.

Always have the kit on hand for picnics (which is not complicated - but means you are flexible regarding the weather). Stargazing is good which you can do in your garden.

Rainy days - tuck yourselves up at home with soup and good books. TV/Netflix.

Kids also need unstructured time. Part of the stress at school is mixing with others all the time and having to follow a timetable.

stayingpositiveifpossible · 03/07/2022 16:22

Hammock in the garden? Or several?

DorritLittle · 03/07/2022 16:30

I feel the same OP. This will be our eight school summer hol and I am a bit activitied out.

Popcorn77 · 04/07/2022 04:56

I always filled summer with experiences. Kids just wanted me - i regret most of it. The best memories we have are the days we were not rushing out the house, the days we had time. Kids beg to stay home now - i could offer mine theme parks, bowling, arcades and holidays .. etc and they would ask for me to just stop and listen and be there for them. (Unless for youngest I offered the pool at center parcs - then it would be that pool!!!)

sue20 · 18/11/2022 12:00

craggydragon · 03/07/2022 15:17

I think the trouble is that when we're at home I do try to do "activities" sometimes but they're only interested in them for max 10 minutes and so then it feels like a failure. I find it easier/better not to bother a lot of the time

I’m not surprised you’re tired with 2 children of that age. So full on! Are you the only adult who will be dealing with them? You don’t mention a DH or DP. . Other family? Who knows what the weather will be like you say you have a lovely garden what outdoor play toys do you have eg Wendy house sandpit slide? Indoors yes all those lovely activities which are great but full on adult supervision. Sorry but get some new videos for your resting! Lol.

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