To not want to organise summer holiday activities

[craggydragon]

Summer holidays coming up and honestly I am craving the lockdowns again because the thought of dragging the kids out for activites and day trips in the heat is stressing me out. I've not been feeling well recently and am so tired, I just can't face it. AIBU for thinking we can just stay at home and play in the garden for a few weeks? I am very lucky to have a nice garden. But I feel guilty for thinking the kids will miss out, or that I will be wasting one of the "18 summers" I keep reading about. I'm also not the kind of mum who constantly sets up fun home-based activities like the 5-min mum stuff. I don't like baking... I read to them and get the pens out...

Truly I am happy to hear if I ABU. I've lost sight of what's ok.

I'd worry about them missing out on social interaction and 6 weeks in the garden is going to become a tad monotonous. You could get a paddling pool at the start of the holiday and then introduce a few extra garden toys as the weeks go by. Maybe invite some of their mates over and then in turn, they might get invites back to theirs. If it's the heat and crowds that put you off going out, go later in the day/early evening, even for a local walk or to a park.

I have a new born so will be staying at home
We will be in the garden most days (every morning I'll set up the paddaling pool and bits around)
I'll have 'stations' set around so colouring on the dining table
Comfy pillows for reading
A den for playing in
Ect

Thanks all. They're 3&5. We do have a paddling pool and yes they do like playing dens and stuff. I'm sure we will venture out to a park now and again it's just that the nearest one is far away. I think probably my reluctance is down to me feeling under par, I'm having various tests. Probably I am anxious about that too. Play dates yes although most of their friends seem to either be away for the summer or in childcare. I don't work so I'm just at home.

Don’t book anything now.

There will be things that don’t need booking you can do if you feel like it later.

I would get a couple of new toys that will occupy them though. The paddling pool idea is a great one

You don't say how old your DC are but I found a book called 'I'm Bored' to be a godsend. Lots of ideas for things to do with young DC at home.

When they were 6 or 7+ we did a couple of trips a week, preferably with friends.

But most of the time they were happy to potter at home and do their own thing.

I never feel sorry for anyone who loves what they do for obvious reasons.

This is a thread about someone not wanting to but feeling they should.

3&5 they are ok at home - just might be harder work for you!!
look out for local free/cheap things i.e our local museum puts on kid mornings with activities & the local leisure center has cheaper tasters. Plus there is a free park thing where they run guided play sessions.

sign up to local facebook groups and follow local businesses to find those easy things you can spontaneously do.

but at 3&5 they are fine safe at home with toys & colouring - they will just need some interaction with others at some point

If you have funds could you book the older into a holiday camp/activity a couple of times and have a quiter day or half-day with the younger one?

Mine would have gone crazy for 6 weeks at home (and me too).

Could you go somewhere with a friend or if you have a partner, could he take a day or two with them and go somewhere and you could have a day rest at home.

Maybe check out a couple of less busy things, we found quirky small museums one year or drove to different parks with a packed lunch and just got an ice cream after a walk and play with sticks,

Feeling down is awful, I have days where I am glad DD is a teen and self-sufficient when I am feeling ill (stress related unfortunately).

At that age they'll love having time to just be.

Paddling pool is great. Toys in garden.

Even just using scooters or bikes to go for a walk down the road, buy an ice cream or stop at cafe for a drink and go home if you want to extend it.

Do you drive?

If so I'd try and get out every few days somewhere further. Pack a picnic, drive, short walk, eat picnic and use a park/beach etc. home again. To avoid the heat I'd go at 1/2pm and have the picnic as a tea.

I bet how hard it is to get out and about if your worried about other stuff but it can become a good distraction that being at home all the time doesn't provide.

Also lol up indoor activities like what the local library has to offer. Or local leisure centre.

Carefully courageous, I must have misread your post, I thought you said you felt sorry for active parents in general

For my own mental health I was the opposite; a day at home alone with them was a very scary place to be and I tried to do something every day. Whilst this is not you there are activities that they would enjoy but are not too much for you. I made use of local free events - things on at the library, local baths/sports centre, local museum etc., made a supermarket visit fun. Just tweak something everyday so to them it becomes a bit magical.

I live near the beach, and all I see is small children crying and yelling because they HATE that huge expanse of sand and scary sea. It's the parents who think they ought to enjoy it.

Adults and children have different expectations...a paddling pool in a familiar garden is often far better.

3 &5 isn't too bad an age for just staying at home in the garden TBH. Or small activities like going to the park etc.

Mine are 7&9 now. Last year I made a big point of doing lots of big days out, theme parks etc after lockdown. And honestly the big days out were fucking shit. Everywhere was too busy and my kids just complained all day. 7YO learnt to ride his bike without stabilisers last year and honestly he was happiest on the lazy days at home when he played out in the street on his bike.

This year I'm not making a big effort. It will be something like cinema, bowling and swimming once a week. Then they can play out with their friends or in the garden for the rest.

Flip schools have already broken up here. I work f/t so it was always summer clubs for mine! Is that an option?

If you need to have a couple of weeks resting at home, then do. The children can play outside, build dens, have picnics etc. In my opinion one of the best things you can do for children is to teach them to be in their own company. My 2dc are teenagers, but quite happy doing their own thing, but also happy coming out with me and dh.
I have friends that constantly planned every day of the holidays, but they always needed to be doing something. Would never just sit and read a book.
Could you have something planned once a fortnight then the dc have things to look forward to, but you know you can rest.
Don’t feel guilty!

No probs. I vary personally anyway.

Our family can go up and down on energy/time/budget for day trips depending on other things, but all our summers have happy memories (I have older kids, some are adult).

I just feel sorry for anyone who feels there is a standard to meet. Parents are under a lot of pressure.

I think you could try to conquer your tiredness to take them somewhere at least once a week. However they don't have to be on the go continually, I always looked forward to playing with my toys and reading undisturbed during holidays.

I am amused that most of this thread is people saying 'oh, it's fine not to go out! You can just [names activity that is in fact a form of going out]'.

Realistically, six weeks doing nothing but being in your own garden with a 3 and 5 year old will drive you all bonkers (and also there will be lots of days where it rains). Kids in my experience absolutely love den-building as a one-off activity, but I think they'll be a bit over it by day 26... You don't have to go for expensive, pre-booked 'days out' like theme parks or whatever but you do need to get out of your own house.

That’s a very long time barely even going to the park with kids that age, itl be easier taking them out for a few days! Or atleast to soft play. But it’s not like you need to plan things in advance, just wait and see how summer goes and I’d aim for a few animal parks or something.

I don’t think it’s ‘bad’ to stay at home as the kids are old enough to not really no different, but it just sounds miserable and harder work. Make sure your DH is taking them out a few days too.

At 3 and 5 I wouldn't have felt the need ( or been able to afford) big things to do. We used to meet friends and have a picnic. One summer they played with really big cardboard boxes....made trains, houses, space rockets. It just happened, but it kept them occupied for hours.It was before the pressure of social media so maybe its not enough in these modern times. We had a big dressing up box . Could you raid your local charity shops before the school holidays and find some new things to reveal bit by bit. Doesn't have to be expensive...beads, silly hats, sparkly shoes, pieces of fabric to use as superman capes. Padding pool filled with saucepans and plastic crap from the back of the cupboard. Put food colouring in to make it a bit different. Bag of sand put it in a big tray ( a growbag sized one if you have one). Get all their diggers and trucks out. They can spend hours being a building site . Boredom breeds creativity .

For people who work though, it might be 2 weeks holiday they get and otherwise the children are in some kind of childcare. My children know that the fun of summer holidays is partly trips and stuff but also them having the freedom to do their own projects and hang about and play. It's not an extravaganza, not Glastonbury for Kids for 6 weeks. There are one or two nice events but for mummy and daddy most of it is still normal work time.

I don’t think you need to organise big trips/activities but if you literally mean staying at home the whole time then I don’t think that’s a particularly good idea. If you mean, mainly at home with a walk/park/shop trip most days then that would be fine. Even in the lockdown most people went out for those things.

I'd also take all the posts about how much people loved just doing nothing and their own projects all day as children with a pinch of salt - people who are recalling just reading all day or doing their own entirely self-directed craft projects probably aren't remembering being 5 and definitely aren't remembering being 3. It isn't realistic to think at those ages that they'll just play independently and let you rest all day, and trying it is going to lead to a lot of frustration all round.

My children are all very small (4, 2 and six months) and are very happy to spend a lot of their time playing in the garden. I don't drive and husband works very long hours and doesn't have a regular shift pattern so we can go two weeks without seeing him and then he's off for a five day stretch. On the times he's working I mainly entertain the children in the garden, go for walks around the village, go to the park every now and then but in the summer it's always very busy and the children have climbing frame, slides, playhouse etc at home. We try to go out on the bus at least once a week which is an adventure for them, even if it is just to go shopping and have lunch. I often feel I'm letting my kids down by not taking them on constant days out like I see on Facebook but my kids are happy and enjoy their days exploring the garden, growing plants, making dens etc

My best childhood memories are playing in the garden and going to the local park. I can’t even remember many of the day trips and activities we did. Stop putting pressure on yourself.