Parents with young kids who drink a lot

[Anyoneforetonmess]

Thoughts?

I’m not straight laced and had many drunken and drug fuelled years through the 90’s and 00’s-clubs, travel etc.
I have a young dc now and just can’t live that same lifestyle and don’t really want to tbh.
I have a good friend, great fun, full of energy, scatty etc who loves a drink…a lot. Her Dh works in the entertainment business so drink is part of his environment and they’ve always enjoyed a good time..fair play to them.
However, now they have a young dc and still have this lifestyle, dc has regularly been in bars and restaurants since being a baby, wearing earphones etc.
Her dc’s birthday party was the other week and the wine was flowing..a lot of it, she was drunk, her Dh was and her mum. It was a great party and a great laugh, but from there she went out for the night leaving dc with her mum and was out in the morning still drunk.
Aibu to think your lifestyle changes when you have dc?

I went to a kiddie rave a few months back with DD. It was in a brewery tbf. One of the mums got very (!!!) drunk. We watched her stumbling about inside the hall, then as we were leaving we saw her sat outside on the pavement, head between her knees, fairy wings askew and just 😬 Not a good look imo. It couldn't be me, but crack on if thats how you want your kids to see you I guess.

You leave your kids with their grandparents. Completely different. These kids are in bars while their parents get pissed and then get left with a pissed grandmother.

I think it's worse to judge than it is for them still living there life

Really? You think it's worse to judge than to get pissed in front of your child then leave them with an intoxicated grandparent to go party some more? Maybe give your head a shake.

Nothing wrong with having nights out if the child is being looked after by someone else but in my opinion people shouldn't be getting drunk infront of their small children.
Imagine you had an accident that left you disabled and completely reliant on someone to care for you. Now imagine that carer started slurring their words and walking off balance and you didn't understand why, how frightened would you be! That's exactly how a small child feels when they see their parents drunk.
Maybe I have bias due to my own upbringing with alcoholic parents since I was born. I used to be so scared seeing my parents stumbling around, slurring words, shouting and seeing my dad urinate in the hallway. I don't want my children to ever see me drunk.
A couple of drinks on a weekend, fine. Getting properly pissed in front of your small children, not good.
The fact that she left her child with her mum who was also drunk isn't good either!

This doesn’t sound great to me either.

Nights out when someone (sober) is watching them and kids seeing you drink sometimes in appropriate situations is one thing. But spending lots of family time in bars/finding chances to drink when at the playground etc doesn’t sound the best.

God, this schoolgirl you're only jealous thing again... 🙄
Please explain why someone would be jealous of someone else doing something differently, when it's completely within their power to do likewise if they wanted to?

Well obviously there’s nothing wrong with leaving your kids in the care of a trusted sober adult and going and having a great time.

But my father was (is) an alcoholic as was my best friend’s. So I’ve vowed my children will never see us drunk or even tipsy. At least not until they’re adults.

OP, you are right, it is completely irresponsible to be in a situation where there is no one able to look after the child who is sober. And dragging kids around to these things is just selfish. There is a massive difference between going out for the night when your child is being cared for by someone who could drive them for help if needed, and dragging them with you when you make yourself incapable of caring for them properly because you dont want to change your lifestyle when you have kids.