Opinions on dating somebody half your age?

[Purplebuntingg]

E.g- 24 year old woman and 50 year old man. Opinions needed

@GoodThinkingMax

Gross. The man is probably a misogynist and can’t cope with a woman his equal in age knowledge and experience.

This. ^ Also, men over 45 can't handle women who are roughly the same age, because women over 40-45 (and older,) don't take the same kind of shit that many 20-something and 30-something women take.

@JacquelinePot

Eww. Age gaps that big give me the ick. Imagine being with someone old enough to be your parent/young enough to be your child.

This too. ^ And it's more older man/younger women than the other way around.

Exactly what a silly thread.

Anyone would think people who married people and had relationships with people their own age never split up.

I know a couple that fits this description. 30 year age gap. Yes, I find it a bit shonky that he is dating a woman only a little older than his own daughter. I do wonder how long it can last.

The issues you are having OP are the reasons it’s grim. You want a relationship with a future, potentially children with an equal partner and he wants a sex doll who demands nothing more from him at his beck and call. He’s had what you want. He doesn’t care that he’s taking away your opportunity for the same thing.

Block delete and call the police if he won’t leave you alone

Obviously the other way around but my Gran met her Partner when she was 50 and he was 25. My Grandad had died 2 years before that.

Everyone told them at the time it wouldn't work out and he was using her etc, they were together for 24 years until she died last year. They had an amazing life together and he looked after her/cared for her through her cancer treatment until she died. He is 50 now and still very much a big part of our family even though she is gone.

Yeah a lot of the time it doesn't work out and my Gran had already had her kids by this point who were adults at the time but just because it doesn't always work - doesn't mean it can't.
It definitely gave me a different look on age gap relationships

Why do you even have thoughts like that about how long it will last. Why should your mind go that way?
Are you not aware that plenty of people who marry people the same age split up.

Also what's his daughter got to do with it. What if he didn't have a daughter would that be ok for you?

Fwiw if you're 24, then it's still plenty young enough to enjoy having a short term fling with this man... You still have lots of time to look for a relationship with more long term potential for family etc in the next few years.

Tell him you want to find a relationship, so you want to separate and you’d appreciate if he’d respect you by not trying to draw you back in.

You do need to just cut him off mind you.

He is just using you for sex

@Purplebuntingg that’s the age gap between me and my dad. Very different life stages. I’d be concern about a power dynamic and him taking control.

Its grim. The power imbalance alone..

I'd feel sorry for the girl in her twenties dating a man in his fifties. I'd think he was a sicko tbh.

@SummertimeTremdendous

*Who said that?

I mentioned that scenario because the post so far was all about older men with younger women.*

My post wasn't aimed at anybody in particular I was just musing and wondering if the same "rules" apply whichever way around it is?

I think it's wrong on many levels and the elder of the two shouldn't 'take advantage' of the younger one as, imo, that's really what they're doing. The young one is probably naive and inexperienced but will wake up further down the line.

He is using you. Wake up. Ditch him and move on with your life. Occupy your mind with something else until you meet someone else closer in age (who isn't taking advantage as that is what this man is doing). I bet he could charm the clouds out of the sky!! Don't let him use you.

The age is only one part of the equation here. This guy is using you and making you feel insecure. The age is part of the unequal dynamic but not all of it...he sounds like a dick who doesn't value you and it sounds like you are aware of it.

Try and spend more time with your own friends and try to meet someone your own age/life stage? It's hard when you're attached to someone like this but just remember it's not real, and the more you give into it the more hurt you will be.

My mum did it. When I was 22 and she was 44 she was dating and then lived with a guy of 22 (she left her husband for him). I found it really hard, I'm not going to lie.

I would find it gross to be brutally honest.

I can't quite understand why a young woman at the beginning of her life would want to shackle herself to a man old enough to be her father who is at a completely different stage of his life, will have completely different cultural/life references and who will have a lower level of health and stamina than she does.

Also the practicalities: unfair on potential children to give them a father who will be less able to keep up with lively toddlers and grumpy teenagers.

I would also question the motives of an older man who goes for a woman half his age..is he looking for someone easier to control? is he really immature and therefore can't cope with women closer to his age? does he just see women as trophies and validation for his ego?

Most of these type of couples are usually about the man being wealthy/powerful/famous and ''buying'' a trophy wife.

Of course there will be some genuine love stories somewhere but for me it is just an ick factor...

So he is a 50 year old man treating you like a friend with benefits/booty call?

Do you go on any dates or spend time together that isn't sex related?

How did you meet him? Have you had a relationship before? 24 is SO young, have a fling with an older man if you want to, but don't put up with this sort of shite, you're worth more!

It's presumably a mutually beneficial arrangement but it hasn't got mileage. Mid ir short term fling but not for a genuine commitment.

Life is short and youth is fleeting, don't waste too much time being some creepy older blokes play thing.

I know a couple like this, she's 28, he's 53. He's already got three children from three previous relationships, she's just given birth to the fourth. I hope he's changed, I really do, for her sake...

I also know a couple with a similar age gap (she is 25 and he is 58, and they met 2 years ago.) 33 years difference. Quite grim. He is biologically old enough to be her grandfather. The young woman is a uni educated professional, and is physically attractive and intelligent, and NOBODY can work out why she's with him. (she met him at the gym.) This man has no assets (not even a residential property as he rents his flat,) and has an average minimum pay job, so it's not money or wealth that she's after. He doesn't even have a car and they get the bus everywhere, or taxis, or they walk...

He never wants to go out socialising, and he doesn't like HER going out, and she just spends the weekends in with him watching TV like a couch potato. She is 25, she should be living her best life, yet she is wasting it with him. Around 6 or 7 of her pals have been abroad twice this year on hen parties, and to Pride Parades, and a couple of weddings, and a big 40th birthday bash, and she has turned them all down 'because Dave doesn't want me to go as he will be 'lonely...' Her pals said 'well bring him along!' She said 'but he doesn't wanna come tho... '

So he doesn't want to go but doesn't want HER to go anywhere! SO depressing.

Her parents have actually gone NC with her as they're so disgusted and upset by it all. They went NC when she moved in with 'Dave' just 5 months after meeting him. Most people 70+ who I know, have better, more exciting social lives than she does. It's so sad to see this vibrant young woman turning into a shadow of her former self since she met this man (2 years ago.)

I know this is purely anecdotal, but I don't know a single 'huge age gap' relationship where it ended well. (I mean 20-25 years +.) I just genuinely believe they're a bad idea. Too much of a power imbalance, and at totally different avenues in life. And the 'yeah but same-age-relationships break up' argument is just silly and weak.

@SaggyBlinders yes. We met as we live really close and got chatting whilst I saw him out walking his dog. I didn’t expect it to progress into anything else.

We’ve met up about ten times but only one time where we haven’t had sex and no dates

It’s mostly on his terms when he wants to see me too so I don’t have much say in things

I think you need to up your boundaries and get rid of this crusty old user. TikTok can be good for this sort of thing (it isn't all kids and pet videos, theres a lot of usual psychological coaching type content on there and stuff from people who have gone through similar and wised up). He's not even treating you well so whats the point in seeing an old guy when you could have a young, fresh one?