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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Very thin walls

92 replies

Cactuses3580 · 01/07/2022 14:25

Hi all, need your advice.

I recently bought a semi-detached house and live alone and I had a couple of friends over late at night for a couple of drinks but we didn't get hammered. We were only talking and they knocked the door at 2am to say they could hear us talking at 2am in the morning. The walls are really thin with no sound proofing. We didn't have music on or TV on or anything like that, we were playing a board game.

I've heard them in the day speaking but as they're a bit old and retired they go to bed early about 9-10pm.

It's annoying as I bought a house and want to be able to have friends over at night but I also don't want to be inconsiderate.

Am I being unreasonable by ignoring them or should I learn to be more considerate?

OP posts:
TheNoonBell · 01/07/2022 14:31

Do you have a room the opposite side of the house from the adjoining wall?

Original poster
Cactuses3580 · 01/07/2022 14:32

Yes, their living room is on the other side of the wall to my living room.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cactuses3580 · 01/07/2022 14:35

On the other side of the house is just a small kitchen and an outside brick porch.

OP posts:
LIZS · 01/07/2022 14:38

Do you have any furniture along the adjoining wall?

Original poster
Cactuses3580 · 01/07/2022 14:40

Only a sofa, nothing else. There is also a small radiator along part of it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cactuses3580 · 01/07/2022 14:44

We can hear everything from each other. For example I can hear when they turn a microwave on or move a table.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cactuses3580 · 01/07/2022 14:45

For those of you who are voting I'm being unreasonable, is your answer that I should just stay quiet and not have friends round? I'm asking for your opinions here.

OP posts:
Beachsidesunset · 01/07/2022 14:45

Then you know they can easily hear you talking at 2am.

LeavesOnTrees · 01/07/2022 14:46

Can you insulate the wall ?

Original poster
Cactuses3580 · 01/07/2022 14:47

@Beachsidesunset Yes I already know that from my original post as I've said......

@LeavesOnTrees I can but I'll need to move a radiator and then possibly pay a contractor to put some soundproofing in the wall which won't be cheap, probably £2k as an estimate.

OP posts:
Gh12345 · 01/07/2022 14:47

I don't think you shouldn't have friends over, but 2am might have been a bit late. I doubt they would have waited till 2am to knock unless they were desperate and in need of sleep.

Original poster
Cactuses3580 · 01/07/2022 14:48

@Gh12345 Ok thank you, would midnight be ok or still too late?

OP posts:
bishbashboshhhhh · 01/07/2022 14:51

I think 11pm is reasonable to stop. But equally I’d be getting sound proofing if it’s really that bad! Or go to one of your friends houses

JamSandwich89 · 01/07/2022 14:51

Have friends over, but not at 2am. Problem solved.

rahjama · 01/07/2022 14:56

bishbashboshhhhh · 01/07/2022 14:51

I think 11pm is reasonable to stop. But equally I’d be getting sound proofing if it’s really that bad! Or go to one of your friends houses

This.

It's not fair on them at 2am. 11pm seems reasonable.

If that's not when you want then fix the problem by insulating

HelpMeGetThrough · 01/07/2022 14:59

I can but I'll need to move a radiator and then possibly pay a contractor to put some soundproofing in the wall which won't be cheap, probably £2k as an estimate.

It'll be more than that if it's done properly. We had a semi 18 years ago and I looked into getting the adjoining wall done. There is a lot to it when done properly. Upstairs as well as downstairs has to be done for it to be if any use and then it's far from ideal.

SirenSays · 01/07/2022 15:08

Have you thought about using that Soundproofing stuff all the youtubers use? It's not pretty but it might help.

WhereTheLightMeetsTheSea · 01/07/2022 15:08

We don’t have neighbours anymore, but when we did, we wouldn’t have ended nights with friends at 11pm. Make an effort to be quiet, but your neighbours need to live with hearing people talk. Maybe you were being louder than you thought?

Blowthemandown · 01/07/2022 15:09

bishbashboshhhhh · 01/07/2022 14:51

I think 11pm is reasonable to stop. But equally I’d be getting sound proofing if it’s really that bad! Or go to one of your friends houses

Exactly this. Now you know everything
can be heard, arrange to get the soundproofing. In the meantime, stop by 11pm. It’s only ok to continue later if you cannot be heard.

Yodaisawally · 01/07/2022 15:11

New build? As a one off or a rare occurrence, fine. Every week, not fine.

We're in a terrace, expect sound sometimes unless they totally take the piss.

Original poster
Cactuses3580 · 01/07/2022 15:11

@Blowthemandown and @bishbashboshhhhh they've moaned at me twice and I've never said anything, so I will try to be more considerate and think midnight is acceptable. However shouldn't they pay for soundproofing if it bothers them more?

OP posts:
VoiceaFromUranus · 01/07/2022 15:12

If you are talking at a reasonable volume then sorry, it's tough.

Banging high volume Dutch techno at 2am, not ok.

You are not being unreasonable by being reasonable in your own home.

Original poster
Cactuses3580 · 01/07/2022 15:13

The thing they moaned at the other time was I played the TV too loud in the day when I'd just moved in but haven't done it since

OP posts:
DuesToTheDirt · 01/07/2022 15:14

Presumably they weren't in their living room (directly through the wall) at 2am, but in their bedroom (upstairs?) So sound is travelling to a room diagonally away from your living room?

Original poster
Cactuses3580 · 01/07/2022 15:16

@DuesToTheDirt yes I think it is. My friends are like if it's just talking to ignore them but family are like no you shoudn't have friends over that late if neighbours can hear you.

OP posts:
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