Very thin walls

[Cactuses3580]

Hi all, need your advice.

I recently bought a semi-detached house and live alone and I had a couple of friends over late at night for a couple of drinks but we didn't get hammered. We were only talking and they knocked the door at 2am to say they could hear us talking at 2am in the morning. The walls are really thin with no sound proofing. We didn't have music on or TV on or anything like that, we were playing a board game.

I've heard them in the day speaking but as they're a bit old and retired they go to bed early about 9-10pm.

It's annoying as I bought a house and want to be able to have friends over at night but I also don't want to be inconsiderate.

Am I being unreasonable by ignoring them or should I learn to be more considerate?

Are you drinking with friends at that time? In my experience people who have been drinking tend to be a lot louder than they think they are.

Meh they'll peg it soon then you'll be ok.
You must have known they was elderly when you bought the house?not a great match. I have elderly neighbours...but they are hard of hearing they don't hear fuck all going on in my house 😂 obviously you want to live your life but again elderly neighbours wasn't gonna be easy for young feee and single you!
They obviously had another oldie next door who maybe died then you bought the house so they won't be used to it.

Do you think maybe your speaking voices are louder than you realise? I find myself constantly telling my mum and sister that they are ‘shouting’ when they come round, as they are used to speaking loudly in their houses, whereas we live in a terrace and are used to speaking much more quietly - not exactly hushed tones, but certainly so the neighbours cannot hear us.

Not read all the thread - but I'd let them know you can hear them switching on the microwave, their TV or whatever too and it often wakes you up. Let them know it's a building problem and you are going to wear ear plugs at night and perhaps they should too.
I'm assuming normal chat and laughter is al, you are having and that is reasonable. You can't be blamed for the building problem.

10pm for loud noise (board games can get riotous!) quiet chatting beyond that is fine.

I think you should both be having a chat, about issues both sides, and both considering soundproofing.

😮 to the poster who said they'll be dead soon. But they might be replaced with more elderly neighbours or a very noisy set of neighbours.

It should be on the newcomer to pay for soundproofing. Not the elderly pensioner neighbours

Where does that presumption stop?
the neighbours might be hyper sensitive and persistent complainers
the neighbours might have more money to rectify their problem.
they might be poor sleepers and any noise would disturb them.

Nobody can really know when purchasing a semi if their house has thin walls. You can ask the sellers the question but no doubt won't get a truthful answer.
Playing board games at 2am with alcohol involved, all I know is when we play board games without any alcohol involved it is less than quiet. I suspect you were loud, but having said that I would have put up with it and said nothing.
If they complain again you really need to point out you can hear them as well.

The OP bought without doing even the most basic building check and neighbour check.

Hmm not sure what that soundproofing check is? Or the neighbour check?

How did you check the soundproofing on your house @Lola4321 when you bought it.

If you inspect the place first before moving in, you'd know. You can physically inspect the walls and house, and get information on the type of building.

Have you been on any Estate Agent viewings lately? In this overheated market you are literally in and out . Offers on the table Monday. You could tap the walls a bit I suppose. m

But Maybe this is what OP could afford. Regardless. They are actual "walls" after all.

😂😂😂😂

Ignore this OP. Well done on buying your own place. It’s nigh on impossible these days. I’ve been in yours and your neighbours position and all I can suggest for you both is ear plugs and maybe rearrange your living area. I found bookcases along the party wall helped a bit.

I really sympathise. I lived in a House with paper thin walls. Honestly could hear everything - footsteps, doors closing, the man of the house peeing! If they had a disagreement I could hear every word. Her mother came up a lot!!

you can’t walk on eggshells in your own house though. How about take a cake round and ask for a chat. Say the walls are paper thin so while you don’t want to upset them, you are going to hear a lot of each other. Tell them you hear them a lot too.

offer some compromises. But be clear you weren’t playing music just talking with your friends. And you do have to have a social life and enjoy your home. Don’t offer up rules (like no friends after 11pm). You aren’t a child and they aren’t your parents.

This^^

I've got a neighbour just like you. Thin walls. Friends over every Friday and Saturday night.
Talking...drunk loudly over each other.
We've asked politely for her keep it down after midnight. She objects because she's "only talking". Groups of people don't talk quietly..especially when they've had a drink..

Agreed.

I'd also also politely remind the neighbours that if they want total silence they should have bought themselves a detached house in a remote location.

In my own home, I'll play board games with my friends at whatever hour I please thank very much.

And if I've bought a house with paper walks I'd have to accept I'll hear the neighbours chatting when they're playing board games. Such is life!

You can examine walls. You can get the building plans and details of the actual joining walls. There's really not much to it.

I'm pretty sure there is. I still don't know how you'd really know how sound would travel. I have NO idea how thick my walls are.

And tbh you don't know if OP had any more money to spend buying a place with thicker walls .

Yanbu. If you are just talking at a normal sound level at 2am in your own house, there is no issue. It's odd that they can hear you whilst they are upstairs in their house.

Some neighbours that live alone need to understand they will hear their neighbours as their own house is very quiet! My neighbour to my right lives alone with 2 dogs, she hangs out in her lounge at the back, we use our lounge at the front of the house mostly, which is why we can't hear her. But when I've gone in my lounge at the back, I can hear her talking, sometimes her dogs, it's quite a muffled sound. I do hear when she's hoovering and moving things around, so I can imagine she hears us and most defo my children, the tv is joined on the sharing wall, so I bet she hears that too. Her house is for sale now, so
Anytime there's been house viewings, I have turned on both tv just so the people viewing can see how much can be heard, I had no idea when we moved here and really wish I did!

My neighbour on my left, we share the stair case wall and kitchen wall, a couple in their 60s, I can hear when she moves things in her kitchen cupboard, I do always wonder how much can she hear from me.
She complained about hearing the kids run up the stairs, they usually walk, maybe a few times a week they run up to be the first to get to the bathroom. Before she complained, I had already told my kids not to run up as the neighbour will be able to hear. So anyways when she complained, I apologised and told the kids not to do so.
A week or so later, my kids drew on our drive outside and on the pavement in-front of our house with chalk, there was one small circle drawn in-front of her drive.
The next morning I got out for the morning school run, and she was waiting for me outside!!!! To tell me, to ask the kids not to draw with chalk as she has friends coming over, I laughed and said oh it's just a bit of chalk, she then responds "well I don't see you scrubbing it" wtfff, I was 8 months pregnant, couldn't believe she said that. So now I don't care about the racket my kids make on her wall side, for a woman in her 60s, has zero compassion, well your not getting any compassion from my end either then. Oh and that very day, it rained, so the chalk was washed off and no "scrubbing" needed.

In front of her drive? That wasn't your recent thread the 'chalking in the road' thread @helpamom

Neighbours don't appear to like chalking on pavements, especially outside their houses.

You are probably "talking" louder than you think. Do you actually mean raised voices and laughing after a few drinks, maybe?
I'd say once in a while is acceptable and give them some advance notice that next week on Tuesday you are having your friends round.

I don't know how your general relationship is with your neighbour but these are my thoughts

1. playing a board game and chatting with friends is not an unreasonable thing to do in your own home, even at 2am
2. you were probably being louder than you thought you were but 1 still holds
3. your neighbours wanting to sleep at 2am is not unreasonable on their part, would they have been able to hear you in their bedroom?
4. the unreasonable thing here is clearly the build quality of the party wall / house in general

Perhaps a pack of biscuits and an apology for disturbing them and bemoan the general lack of noise insulation might lead to good neighbourly relations for the future?