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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pre eclampsia, in hospital hell

122 replies

crackerjackbaby · 30/06/2022 12:56

A friend of mine is 36 weeks and just been diagnosed with pre eclampsia. She's been admitted to hospital and has been told she needs to remain there until next weds (c section). She hasn't slept a wink for 2 nights and is missing her 2.5 yo DD terribly. She is desperate to leave and be at home, but doesn't want to endanger baby. Everyone with pre eclampsia at this point in pregnancy is admitted til term. Is hospital being overly cautious, and can she self discharge for a few nights to be with family? AIBU- yes, stay in if doctor recommends, even if damaging mental health and zero sleep. No, leave and come back in a few days.

OP posts:
seasidemum1 · 30/06/2022 12:57

Pre-eclampsia can turn very dangerous for mum and baby very quickly, I know multiple women who have lost babies to this condition. It's hard but she needs to be in hospital.

ivykaty44 · 30/06/2022 12:57

its really not sensible to go home and unfortunately your friends is in the best place medically until baby is born - which could be c section before date

ivykaty44 · 30/06/2022 12:58

can you take your friends some ear plugs, nice fruit and a few magazines, eye cover and squash drinks?

gunnersgold · 30/06/2022 12:59

It happened to me 11 years ago with another child at home . I spent a month on bed rest and had a c section at 33 weeks .
I wouldn't leave , she is risking her and the babies life if she does..

It's literally like being in prison so I get it but it will be a distant memory soon enough ..

Original poster
crackerjackbaby · 30/06/2022 13:00

Thanks everyone so far, v useful. Any mums out there did leave, and if so, all ok?

OP posts:
OrlaOrka · 30/06/2022 13:01

I agree I wouldn’t leave, and I’ve been in this position myself. Yes it’s hell on earth but the NHS really don’t keep people in as inpatients unnecessarily, they are so pushed for beds it’s a last resort so she medically obviously needs to be there. It’s only a week.

seasidemum1 · 30/06/2022 13:02

I'm sure there might be women who have left hospital against medical advice and it all been ok, but that doesn't mean it's a sensible choice. Trust me, if she goes home and something happens she will never forgive herself. Agree with others, make her a care package and encourage her to stay put.

Summerwhereareyou · 30/06/2022 13:03

Absolutely not.

Definitely not at all. I don't want to say more but please beg her to stay it's a few days.

readit · 30/06/2022 13:03

I was in hospital with pre eclampsia and it got very bad very quickly. I didn’t feel unwell so it’s easy to think you could be at home resting but one evening I was having my blood pressure taken and it was through the roof. They made the decision to deliver the baby immediately and he was born not breathing and extremely small for dates. Fortunately the quick action of the doctors and nurses mean my son and I are here today but it could have so easily not been the case.

Rockschooldropout · 30/06/2022 13:04

I was admitted at 35 weeks for two weeks before being induced - it sucked, I missed my children and then DH (now ex) but it was very much required and the outcome was I was able to go home with a healthy dd (who is now 12) and be with my family .
Earplugs are a saving Grace in hospital and I highly recommend , I also brought my own pillow in from home, little things made a difference .
Pre eclampsia is serious and potentially life threatening condition to mum and baby , so she absolutely needs to stay where she is

Original poster
crackerjackbaby · 30/06/2022 13:04

Thank you all very much.

OP posts:
comealongponds · 30/06/2022 13:07

why on earth do you think random posters on here are better to listen to than hospital staff actually involved in “your friend’s” care!?

they wouldn’t keep her in if it wasn’t medically necessary. Stop looking for stories of women who were lucky enough not to have a bad outcome if they ignored medical advice. Focus on supporting your friend to stay where she is.

waterrat · 30/06/2022 13:10

Agree that it would not be sensible for your friend to take the advice of a woman on mumsnet (ie..random example) over medical advice that has been given to her by doctors who have examined her and understand the actual odds of it going wrong in her situation.

I agree hospital wards are hell. I used meditation apps to drown out the noise. Also get as good eye mask as possible.

DenholmElliot1 · 30/06/2022 13:14

She really should stay. The whole thing with "pre"-eclampsia is to prevent it from turning into eclampsia, which is life threatening to both mother and baby.

Techno56 · 30/06/2022 13:17

Things that may help it be a bit less awful -

A portable fan
Silicone earplugs
Someone could bring snacks/food that she likes
Own pillow

Ohthatsexciting · 30/06/2022 13:18

Wtf

she would leave the hospital with pre eclampsia against medical advise??

no, no and no

Ohthatsexciting · 30/06/2022 13:19

crackerjackbaby · 30/06/2022 13:00

Thanks everyone so far, v useful. Any mums out there did leave, and if so, all ok?

No one answer this stupid question

Ohthatsexciting · 30/06/2022 13:20

it is you in hospital isn’t it op?

Vikinga · 30/06/2022 13:20

Bloody hell, of course she should stay!! Why on earth are you asking strangers if she should risk her and her baby's life by going against doctor's recommendations?? Get a grip.

A week is nothing. I stayed a few months during to a risky pregnancy.

Womblesaremyfavouritefood · 30/06/2022 13:21

She needs to be in hospital. I had very severe pre eclampsia and ended up in ICU (as did DC). At no point did I feel ill or even slightly poorly.

User0610134049 · 30/06/2022 13:22

I feel for her
i was admitted for similar circumstances and for regular obs of blood pressure etc. but they kept forgetting/being too busy to do the obs, was so frustrating as what was the point of being there?

but no, im sorry but I don’t think she should mess about if they want her in. I was in 33-34 wks then allowed home as blood pressure stabilised with meds but I had to come to the day assessment unit for obs 3 times a week.

she can ask the consultant if that’s an option for her, but if she needs more regular monitoring then she should stay put. Things can change quickly.

ManateeFair · 30/06/2022 13:25

Hospitals are short of beds and staff. There is absolutely no way they would be asking her to stay in unless it was strictly necessary. Of course she shouldn’t go home.

DogsAndGin · 30/06/2022 13:27

Ohthatsexciting · 30/06/2022 13:19

No one answer this stupid question

Show quote history

The mums out there who did leave and were not ‘all ok’ won’t be able to let OP know, as they won’t be here anymore.

Not sure OP realises that pre-eclampsia can be deadly… hence her friend needing to stay in hospital. Thank god we have adequate healthcare in this country. I hope OP’s friend is okay.

Zippy1510 · 30/06/2022 13:29

If she wants to maximise her chances of leaving the hospital with an alive baby then she should stay.

Coldnoseandtoes · 30/06/2022 13:29

The NHS is overstretched at anytime, and as far as I was aware, worse than ever at present. They're not going to keep anyone there unless it's necessary - going home would be extremely silly of her at this time. I understand hating being there, away from family and home comforts, but it's the safest place for her and baby.

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