Pre eclampsia, in hospital hell

[crackerjackbaby]

A friend of mine is 36 weeks and just been diagnosed with pre eclampsia. She's been admitted to hospital and has been told she needs to remain there until next weds (c section). She hasn't slept a wink for 2 nights and is missing her 2.5 yo DD terribly. She is desperate to leave and be at home, but doesn't want to endanger baby. Everyone with pre eclampsia at this point in pregnancy is admitted til term. Is hospital being overly cautious, and can she self discharge for a few nights to be with family? AIBU- yes, stay in if doctor recommends, even if damaging mental health and zero sleep. No, leave and come back in a few days.

I know being in hospital sucks but I think your friend is in the best place. Preeclampsia is not something you want to mess around with, with high blood pressure things can go wrong for you and the baby very quickly.
It's only a few weeks in the grand scheme of things if that.
I do remember wishing the last few weeks of my pregnancy away, but I regret that now as it was a peaceful time before things got chaotic.

Sorry, but abs

GAH. Silly finger. Absolutely not being reasonable. I've had pre-eclampsia in both my pregnancies, and been in from 36 weeks to 2 days post delivery both times. I was fortunate that it was mild both times, but I work in theatres and many times have seen women come down where it turned nasty very quickly.

It sucks, and I missed my own 2.5DD dreadfully second time around, but it is far and away the safest place for your friend to be.

Pre eclampsia is a life-threatening illness. It nearly killed me, I spent three days in intensive care with kidney failure. It's not unreasonable it's pure stupidity to go home for any reason.

I was admitted at 36 weeks with pre eclampsia too. It was awful but the ward was reasonably quiet (first lockdown and no one in the hospital). Whilst it feels like it will never end, the end is in sight. She will sleep again, but for now needs to prioritise her health and her baby’s health.

Absolutely stupid and throughly irresponsible especially given she is already a mother . Has she not understood that this could kill her and her unborn baby. Leaving her living child without a mother.

the best advice you can give your friend is to be glad they’ve caught this and that she absolutely needs to stay put so that nothing catastrophic occurs.

Your friend would be insane to turn down top rate, necessary, health care for the sake of a few days of missing home. Before modern medicine, women died in droves from eclampsia. She needs someone to tell her how lucky she is that she is unlikely to be dead in 10 days time.

I had preeclampsia last year. I was monitored closely for 6 weeks but different doctors kept telling me different things about how stable I was, how bad/good my bloods were etc so I didn’t take it very seriously. i have an overwhelming fear of hospitals (don’t know why I thought having a baby was a good idea with that), I have mental health issues and terrible insomnia. I was admitted and discharged myself a total of 3 times as my panic overtook any rational thought about myself and of the baby.

Although I was admitted again after this and was discharged the very next morning as all was well 🤨 It wasn’t, I was admitted again 2 days later and had my baby the next morning at 33 weeks by EMCS.

i didn’t think I was that ill because I didn’t have the “usual” symptoms of preeclampsia. In reality, I had a headache every day, but one that went away with painkillers, my swelling was off the charts, I thought it was just normal 3rd trimester swelling, I had vision changes but not the ones the doctors kept asking about so didn’t think it was related. And once baby was out I realised that for the first time in weeks, I was able to stand for more than a minute without feeling like I was going to keel over and die. My kidneys had started failing and my baby’s were slightly affected, all sorted once out though. i felt amazing after she was born, because I didn’t realise how ill I had actually been feeling.

If it’s only till Tuesday, I would advise your friend to stay in and just make it as comfortable as possible. Eye mask, ear plugs, tablet to watch films/programmes, bring food from home, read loads. She can ask for something to help her sleep from the nurses. And I hat I found most helpful was on the Labour ward they had kitchens with fridges so I was able to freeze my bottled water and drink it ice cold throughout the day. I can’t stand room temp water so it was a god send. Hopefully there’s something like that where she is.

It’s really not worth the risk, I still feel really guilty that I put my own comfort ahead of my baby. Although she came out in a much better state than I was in and has absolutely thrived since day 1.

It's so risky. I was allowed out for dinner with DH as it was my birthday, on the proviso I returned that evening. I get the frustration, but it is necessary.

Be aware though, that PE doesn't necessarily go away after delivery. I had 10 days of hell on the post-natal ward after a CS, as I wasn't allowed to leave until my BP came down.

You will only get people answering this question who were ok. Because the people who went home and weren’t ok, are dead. Pre-eclampsia gets serious very quickly and leads to fitting, stroke, and death. Don’t leave the hospital unless the doctors say you’re safe to do so

You don’t need to hear stories from people who have been ok. She’s been asked to stay in hospital for her self and her babies lives. Any decent friend would say listen don’t live, stay in hospital. Her partner and child can visit and bring goodies, it’s not a life sentence.

This happened to me. I was admitted a month before my DD was born. Preeclampsia can become really dangerous really quickly. My lungs filled with fluid, my blood pressure went up to 220/110 before they managed to get it under control with a cocktail of drugs, and I got severe oedema and my legs looked like elephant’s legs. I could barely walk. NHS beds are in really short supply at the moment. Your friend wouldn’t be there if she didn’t need to be. Bring her headphones, earplugs, cold drinks (or ice in a flask), download a Netflix series onto an iPad, buy her a book or puzzles or a jigsaw or crochet - whatever it takes to get her through it - that’s the best way to support her now. She would be putting herself and her baby at serious risk of a negative outcome if she went home against medical advice.

Tbh I felt fine on the Monday, out walking the dogs and routine mw appointment and subsequently admitted (drove myself in)…

by Tuesday afternoon I was in organ failure. It’s that fast.

I have had pre-eclampsia on 4 occasions. Always at end of pregnancy ( after 35 weeks.). I was in hospital over Christmas and was allowed to leave on Christmas Eve ti be with my other children. I had a midwife come out twice on Christmas Day and I returned to hospital Boxing Day. I was fine as was my DD but if she is being told to stay in then really she should.

"Friend" needs to dig deep, be brave and stay in hospital for herself and her baby. Mental health is massively important of course but what kind of impact would losing her child have on her mental health??
They don't keep people in for fun. Nobody here can tell you that everything will be fine if she leaves. It might be! She might get lucky. Or she might not. Up to her go decide in the risk she's willing to take.

My wife has had pre eclampsia (and, full on eclampsia for that matter) - terrifying.

Do not leave. They're not being overcautious, no hospital I've ever worked in has ever wanted to keep patients in unnecessarily.

The 2 1/2 year old will have no memory of the next couple of weeks when they're older.

How closely is she being monitored? If they're understaffed and only checking on her a couple of times a day she could deteriorate without any staff noticing.

If they are checking regularly then it's a case of just putting up with it.

This

I know, someone who ran across a motorway once. He didn't die but I wouldn't recommend anyone else doing it!

I had preeclampsia discovered around that time. They never told me I had to stay in, I just visited the hospital twice a week for checks for the rest of my pregnancy 🤷‍♀️

Who would honestly dare risk it at this stage? The thought of her going through the agony of a still birth just makes my blood run cold. Please do everything you can to help her stay in hospital where they’ll both be safe.

I knew someone in a similar position. She refused to stay in and discharged herself against medical advice. She suffered a placental abruption and by the time she got back to hospital it was too late to save the baby. Had she been in hospital when it happened they could have got her to theatre within 10-15 minutes and probably saved her son. I don’t think she will ever get over the guilt she feels about it.

If they're keeping her in its because she's being monitored really closely, if there's anyway they keep people at hope to free up beds they do so that should tell you something.

It can turn nasty very very quickly. She'll be home soon enough .

Same here. I have pre eclampsia at the minute. I was admitted for a few days initially but my BP stabilised on meds and my kidney, liver and full blood count tests were normal. Also no children at home and a DH working from home full time. This was at 31 + 5 and I’m 37 now. I am in twice a week for bloods urine and monitoring. The rest of the time I’m in bed rest at home only getting up for a short walk a day. That said we were both permitted home so must be stable cases. That’s very different to someone discharging themselves.