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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Pre eclampsia, in hospital hell

122 replies

crackerjackbaby · 30/06/2022 12:56

A friend of mine is 36 weeks and just been diagnosed with pre eclampsia. She's been admitted to hospital and has been told she needs to remain there until next weds (c section). She hasn't slept a wink for 2 nights and is missing her 2.5 yo DD terribly. She is desperate to leave and be at home, but doesn't want to endanger baby. Everyone with pre eclampsia at this point in pregnancy is admitted til term. Is hospital being overly cautious, and can she self discharge for a few nights to be with family? AIBU- yes, stay in if doctor recommends, even if damaging mental health and zero sleep. No, leave and come back in a few days.

OP posts:

KittyMcKitty · 30/06/2022 21:33

I was in from 34-36 weeks with dc1 with pre eclampsia (and then for a further 2 weeks after he was delivered) and for a couple of days before with dc2 and then 10 days after (risk of p-e still present). Yes it was shit but it’s best to stay in - own pillows help a lot.

Mememene · 30/06/2022 21:34

Witchlight · 30/06/2022 21:30

I was in the same position as your friend.

it is very difficult and totally exhausting to be in a pre birth ward - especially if people are going into early stage labour each night. The wards are too hot and too noisy.

I asked for a private room, as soon as one became available (was the best £100 per day I ever spent) and after 3 days/nights of fitful, restless sleep in the ward, I managed 4 nights of proper sleep in a private room, before giving birth. Interestingly my BP fell dramatically in my own room! The hospitals often reserve these rooms for people with a greater need for privacy eg a stillbirth. Offer to move quickly and without fuss if they need it for this.

if it is a week of broken sleep, it will be unpleasant, but over soon. However, your friend needs to be in hospital- it may save her life and I’m not being overly dramatic.

I got one of those side rooms after the birth, because of eclampsia, I needed to be near the nurses station after I returned from intensive care.

As has been said things change very quickly and right now they are planning a c-section next week but if things deteriorate, it might be needed any time at all.

Craziness to leave the safety of the hospital and risk your life and the babies.

SqueakyClean20 · 30/06/2022 21:35

I was admitted with preeclampsia at 27 weeks and throughout only had a slight headache. At 30 weeks my preeclampsia turned to HELLP syndrome, my husband barely got to the operating theatre in time for our DDs arrival (only a 20 minute drive for him).
If I hadn’t of been in the hospital then most likely neither myself or our DD would be here now.

Happyhappyday · 30/06/2022 21:36

My mum had pre eclampsia with me, induced for 5 days before I was born then nearly died from a massive hemorrhage. Don’t leave, it’s horrid in there (I was induced and spent a few nights on the prenatal ward in hell) but both mum and baby’s lives are at risk.

cestlavielife · 30/06/2022 21:37

Better azfew weeks in hospital hell and come home all fine
She can facetime her dc
Encourage her to deal with it and stay

Albgo · 30/06/2022 21:41

She'd be a fool to leave. My pre-eclampsia went from concerning to life threatening in the space of a couple of hours. Both me and baby almost died. No way would I advise anyone to leave hospital if they've been diagnosed with it and told by consultants to stay in.

BurnDownTheDiscoHangTheDJ · 30/06/2022 21:42

She would be mad to go home. I’ve been that soldier- it’s awful but me and DD got through it even if I did want to stab everyone else on that ward by the end of my couple of weeks on it. It feels terrible at the time, but she will forget all about it as soon as baby is here safe (as apposed to having her life ruined if anything happened to baby, or ended if she died). As others have said things can get really bad really quick, she needs to be in for the constant monitoring of baby and her.

Witch708 · 30/06/2022 21:42

Don't leave. I had preeclampsia from week 28 to 31 until he was delivered by c section.

it's a nut- house. I didn't sleep for three weeks and just wanted my son outand to get away from the sick people and their noisy inconsiderate families.

but it's worth it now. He is a strapping young man. The alternative is that you have eclampsia, which is a stroke.

KittyMcKitty · 30/06/2022 21:43

SqueakyClean20 · 30/06/2022 21:35

Just to echo this I suddenly found myself in the early hours in a lift to an operating theatre being told they were really sorry but dc was going to be delivered now under general, they couldn’t wait for my husband to arrive and they were really sorry but nothing in my birth plan was going to happen. It was scary and dc was blue in delivery with an AGPAR of 2 but he’s fine now and off to Uni - if we hadn’t been in that hospital things may have been different.

Toddlerteaplease · 30/06/2022 22:21

A few weeks of discomfort is nothing compared to the risk to her and her babies life? If she goes home and gets very sick.

Ohrwurm · 30/06/2022 22:29

Sorry to sound really harsh, but a week away from her daughter is better than never returning to her. As others have said, it's dangerous if it escalates and it can escalate quickly. I sympathise with your friend though, I have a 2 year old and am 9 weeks pregnant, and if I had to be away from him, I'd be gutted but I would do it if it would keep me and baby alive

StillAMother · 30/06/2022 22:29

Sorry she absolutely needs to stay where she is.

I went through it twice, its hard to sleep, hot, stuffy, challenging to be away from a toddler, boring, food sucks. Second time was a month in hospital with fluid in and fluid out being monitored most of that time (means constant peeing in cardboard ’potty’).

But eclampsia kills and it can change so very quickly. I feel like I owe mine and my 2nd babies life to the nhs hospital staff for that quiet constant watching then inducing at the best time for me and baby

TeddyisMydog · 01/07/2022 06:21

I also had pre eclampsia with my first born and like many pp I didn't feel unwell, which is pretty scary when you think about it.

I was in for 3 nights and ready to argue my case to go home when a registrar came to tell me that I had to be taken to the Labour ward to start induction or my baby and I wouldn't live much longer

Please do not risk leaving the hospital. Ear plugs, lots of magazines, walk as far round the ward as they'll let her, face time with pals (during the day obviously only!) Tuesday will be here before she knows it

lightand · 01/07/2022 06:37

Sounds like she is not thinking straight at this point.

As others are saying, stay in.
It was dangerous 30 years ago. It is dangerous now.
The person who I knew who had it was a nurse on the actual ward she was on. Mega embarassing, but nothing she could do but ride it out.

ladydimitrescu · 01/07/2022 06:49

I'm assuming by ops vague replies she's left and gone home.

EvelynBeatrice · 01/07/2022 08:25

I've nothing to add to all the sensible exhortations above to stay put. Hope all goes well.
However it's so depressing that a stay in a U.K. hospital is accepted as being such an ordeal. It seems so crazy to people with experience of other European healthcare. A stay in a French hospital, for example is - health issues aside obviously - far from an ordeal. Good nutritious food, adequate staffing, clean quiet environment and most of all fresh air ( ventilation seen as essential following covid) all there. Similar experiences from family and friends in the Netherlands, Germany and Belgium.

Vanillaradio · 01/07/2022 09:13

I know quite a few people have said things like this but- I was in exactly the same situation- admitted at 36 weeks and kept in- I had no symptoms and very early signs 9f preclampsia and after 3 days I was in tears, begging to go home. They didn't let me - that night my blood pressure shot up to dangerous levels and they had to review every 2 hours and keep putting up the medication- they ended up tripling the dose to just to get everything back in control. The next morning was 37 weeks exactly and they started induction which led to emcs. I dread to thing what would have happene if I was at home asleep when that happened. Please tell her to stay in hospital and if she has gone home to go back. She might be just fine but the risks of her not being are high.

HorribleHerstory · 01/07/2022 09:32

Get her Downton Abbey box set to binge watch.

recommend season 3 episode 5

Carrotzen · 01/07/2022 09:39

Hospitals don't keep people in beds for fun. No one is holding her hostage but if she self discharges against medical advise there's a reasonable risk that her and/or her baby could die

There will of course be stories of people who have been okay, that is the nature of risk, but it doesn't mean that she will be. And it doesn't mean that's in any way a good idea. People do ridiculous dangerous things and survive but most wouldnt

cricketwidoww · 01/07/2022 17:16

@HorribleHerstory harsh but also hits home!

Original poster

crackerjackbaby · 01/07/2022 19:15

Update, my friend is staying in hospital until birth. I saw her today and she was so much brighter after her first good nights sleep in a while. Thanks for all the replies.

OP posts:

Mememene · 01/07/2022 19:43

crackerjackbaby · 01/07/2022 19:15

Update, my friend is staying in hospital until birth. I saw her today and she was so much brighter after her first good nights sleep in a while. Thanks for all the replies.

Im really pleased to hear it. Such a dangerous and silent killer, turns on a sixpence to being fine to being in intensive care and serious trouble.

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