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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be absolutely gutted the school have received a complaint about this race?

205 replies

WinTakenAway · 29/06/2022 20:43

Sports day last week.

It was the first one since Covid, and was so well run.

Every child had to do everything but they were all awarded a house point for taking part, 2 points for a 1st place only.

My DD came last in all but one race. The race she won was her against 1 other child in her class whose in a wheelchair.

This is the race they’ve received a complaint about.

According to the parent complaining it was unfair!

It wasn’t the parent of the child in the wheelchair who complained as the parent was heard praising the HT for including him in everything.

My DDs had the win taken off her, as the complaint was upheld by the governors. Even though the boy himself wasn’t bothered (he’d won 2 races himself).

DD needed that win, she hates school, is dyslexic and dyspraxic so struggles with even the basics. She needed that win to go into school with confidence and have something to boast about (trust me she’s the type of child that needs to be able to talk about her achievements as she’s always complaining and comparing herself).

It’s a mixed class of Y1 and 2s, so the other child was at most 7. And neither of the DC involved cared, as I said the boy had already won 2 races, my DD just needed a little boost.

Why can’t people just leave alone and let the teachers make a decision that’s best for the class?

OP posts:
luxxlisbon · 29/06/2022 20:47

I’m not sure there’s anything to boast about winning a race against someone a child in a wheelchair.

I think you need to just move past this. You are taking it way too personally. A teacher won’t always make the right call and since multiple people looked into this complaint and upheld it there was obviously something valid in it.

AmIAJoke · 29/06/2022 20:49

I cannot believe that a child in year 1/2 has had their win taken off them! That would never happen in any school I’ve ever worked in. Nor would the governors get involved in who won races at sports day.
This sounds absolutely unbelievable to me…
Meanwhile, you need to look at boosting DD’s self esteem and teaching her not to compare herself to others, rather than bathing in the glory of beating them to make herself feel better.

Hercisback · 29/06/2022 20:50

You could put in a counter complaint about your DDs win being taken away.

Or you could give your DD a big hug, reassure her she's great and have a quiet word with the teacher about giving her a house point for something tomorrow.

RudsyFarmer · 29/06/2022 20:51

Was it just your DC and the disabled child or was their lots of children racing?

bellac11 · 29/06/2022 20:51

Who complained then?

Original poster
WinTakenAway · 29/06/2022 20:52

I didn't tell DD the teacher handled it, and told her it didn't matter as she took part and finished everything she took part in so she did well, and she didn't lose the 2nd house point for winning either.

I always tell her she's amazing, and I love her for her but when your 7 it's a big deal when you feel everyone can do it and you can't. She really struggles and just needed it.

OP posts:
Bobbybobbins · 29/06/2022 20:53

I can understand why you are upset but I can also understand why this must have seemed unfair to onlookers.

As posters above have said you need to let this go and think if ways to support your child to succeed. Try to find what they are good at and help them develop it. Both my children have learning disabilities and are way below age related expectations in everything so I do understand.

Original poster
WinTakenAway · 29/06/2022 20:53

RudsyFarmer · 29/06/2022 20:51

Was it just your DC and the disabled child or was their lots of children racing?

Just my DC and the child in the wheelchair in that particular race, DD was against others in the other races. But the boy was also against others in other races.

It's a mainstream school but well known for being very inclusive.

OP posts:
Original poster
WinTakenAway · 29/06/2022 20:53

bellac11 · 29/06/2022 20:51

Who complained then?

I have no idea, I definitely don't think it was the parent of the child in the wheelchair though

OP posts:
saltwaterandsuncream · 29/06/2022 20:55

A running child vs a wheelchair child was always going to be ridiculously unfair.

saltwaterandsuncream · 29/06/2022 20:55

*child in a wheelchair.

clpsmum · 29/06/2022 20:55

I actually can't believe the school even did a race with two children one of whom was in a. Wheelchair. Not really something to be boasting about tbh

BigFatLiar · 29/06/2022 20:55

Did they say why they'd taken the win off her. If it was because it was unfair and there were only two in the race then the race should have been scrapped and neither wins.

Complain yourself about them expecting your dd to take part in a race which they themselves deem unfair. Perhaps its an example of how hopeless their school management is.

BananaSpanner · 29/06/2022 20:58

Az

Viviennemary · 29/06/2022 20:58

The school sounds clueless. If you are annoyed about it then complain if you like. It was handled very badly,thiugh whatever the rights and wrongs.

Original poster
WinTakenAway · 29/06/2022 21:00

Ok, I accpet it was probably ill judged of the school, I can see why a complaint was put it.

I think I'm more put out they've taken the win off DD, they told her that the race shouldn't have gone ahead as it was unfair to both of them as they weren't matched properly in terms of there being a fair chance for both.

Will talk to the school again about finding ways to boost DDs confidence in herself, I do talk to them a lot so can mention it again in light of this.

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Whitehorsegirl · 29/06/2022 21:00

incredibly silly of the school to have your child race against a wheelchair user in the first place...

Aconitum · 29/06/2022 21:02

No you are not being unreasonable to be annoyed and gutted for your daughter.
Interfering busybodies like to make themselves look superior inclusive woke* (insert appropriate word) but who's to say that your DD's dispraxia is a lesser disability than the boy in the wheelchair when it comes to sports (as you say he had already won two races so must have some speed/skill).
Having said that as the parent of a DS with distinctly below average (sporting at least) capabilities in primary, I think you are going to have to let it go and toughen up a bit so you can bolster your DD's self esteem.

FriendlyPineapple · 29/06/2022 21:02

Who the hell decided to set up a two person race where one participant is using a wheelchair?!

God awful idea and it was always going to end badly in some way.

Both kids have been treated really poorly I think.

Anxiernie · 29/06/2022 21:03

Just tell your DD that she did actually win, but the school let him win because he's in a wheelchair and they thought it was unfair that he couldn't run.

He won two races already though? So presumably he had beaten other kids who weren't in wheelchairs? Or did he only race against other wheelchair users? What's the solution - this boy in the wheelchair can't race anyone else because it's not fair? How is it so totally unfair if he beat kids already?

Original poster
WinTakenAway · 29/06/2022 21:10

Anxiernie · 29/06/2022 21:03

Just tell your DD that she did actually win, but the school let him win because he's in a wheelchair and they thought it was unfair that he couldn't run.

He won two races already though? So presumably he had beaten other kids who weren't in wheelchairs? Or did he only race against other wheelchair users? What's the solution - this boy in the wheelchair can't race anyone else because it's not fair? How is it so totally unfair if he beat kids already?

He is the only child in the entire two classes in a wheelchair, and he'd won two races, one where he'd propelled himself (DD was in that race so I have video footage of this) and the other one he was pushed by his mum - this was a race against other boys in the Key Stage only, no girls in that race.

Hence why i'm certain it wasn't his mum who complained.

OP posts:
VaccineSticker · 29/06/2022 21:13

Incompetent school to allow a less able child compete an able child. It’s awful for both children.

nothingfound · 29/06/2022 21:14

Tangent I know but if sports day was last week there is no way a complaint has been heard by governors. There hasn’t been time to follow the required process. The initial complaint is the sole responsibility of the headteacher in any case.
On the face of it this sounds like a very strange race to hold.

WTF475878237NC · 29/06/2022 21:15

You mean a running race? I assumed you meant a bike race and he had an adapted wheelchair bike!

Original poster
WinTakenAway · 29/06/2022 21:17

nothingfound · 29/06/2022 21:14

Tangent I know but if sports day was last week there is no way a complaint has been heard by governors. There hasn’t been time to follow the required process. The initial complaint is the sole responsibility of the headteacher in any case.
On the face of it this sounds like a very strange race to hold.

@nothingfound I'm only going off what I was told by school I have no ideas how or when Governors meet, sorry

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