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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This is why people ask for cash

375 replies

antelopevalley · 29/06/2022 10:37

I did some babysitting on Saturday night. When the couple got back they said sorry they didn't have any cash and they would transfer me the money. It is Tuesday and in spite of giving them my bank details, and a reminder text, still no payment.
If I ever babysit for them again (not sure I will now), I will say I will only do so if they pay cash that evening. Sadly this kind of way of operating seems common amongst middle-class people. It may not be a big deal for you to wait days for a relatively small sum of money, but it is for many others.

OP posts:
Lonelylonelylonely · 02/07/2022 21:30

I wouldn't go down the lines of emotional blackmail. Don't justify or tell why you need the money. You're offering a professional service, so send a professional message.

"I delivered a babysitting service on x date as agreed at y price. I'm sure this is just an oversight on your part, but please ensure payment has been fully settled by x date. If it has not been settled by then, I am afraid I will have no other option than to use other channels in order to recover my costs. Kind regards,"

JamieNorthlife · 02/07/2022 21:55

OP, contact the other babysitters from your community to let them know about this family. Maybe they will regret their behaviour once they can't find a babysitter.

Murdoch1949 · 02/07/2022 22:05

If, IF, you babysit again, specify cash, upfront, before they leave the house. No excuses. If they have no cash, walk out.

LoisLane66 · 02/07/2022 23:32

I'm hopping mad on behalf of the OP. 🤬
How dare they ignore the fact that she took care of THEIR CHILDREN while they went out to enjoy themselves, yet they don't seem to think it's a service worth paying for.
I'd send a text saying that for every day they default on payment (and it's been a week already) that you're adding £2 per day late fees.
Keep all your messages to and from her. Do not lose them. Put in archive or something.
Her attitude is unbelievable and I would personally love to tell her what a shit she is.
Believe me, if you hadn't turned up to babysit your name would be mud. She'd make sure of that.

Vicllb · 03/07/2022 22:07

I had a babysitter last Saturday. Admittedly younger than OP. I picked her up. Gave her the money before we left, plus a bit extra for a takeaway. Got her 2 bottles of Coke and some Spicy Doritos because they are her favourite. Then paid for her taxi home. She loves my children. My youngest was ecstatic when he saw her and knew she was with him for the night. Good babysitters are like golddust and need to be treated as such. Never, ever babysit for them again.

Original poster
antelopevalley · 03/07/2022 22:09

Got the money. DP went round. I will not babysit for them ever again.

OP posts:
Flyinggeese1234 · 03/07/2022 22:17

I’m glad it’s sorted OP.

allboysherebutme · 03/07/2022 22:20

If you babysit for a lot of people I'd buy one of those sum up card readers for £30. I think that would work they just tap their card on it and says payment excepted or something. X

WeAreBob · 03/07/2022 22:26

How did that conversation between them and your partner go @antelopevalley?

I just cannot imagine myself being able to look him in the eye after not paying and ignoring you for a week?

Original poster
antelopevalley · 03/07/2022 22:31

@allboysherebutme thanks but I do not and can not really waste £30 in this way.

DP was just assertive and stayed outside their door until the payment had gone through. He is not intimidating.

OP posts:
riserved · 03/07/2022 22:54

Thank goodness for that OP. 🙂

FlipFlopShopInHawaii · 03/07/2022 23:16

Glad you got your money. Did you get an apology when they finally paid up OP?

Original poster
antelopevalley · 03/07/2022 23:19

No apology, but I got the money.

OP posts:
LoisLane66 · 04/07/2022 02:47

I'm so pleased that you got the money but I still hate them and their attitude. Unbelievable...🤬

Backtoblack1 · 04/07/2022 06:20

Glad you got the money! Some people have the skin of a rhinoceros!! X

HoarHouse · 04/07/2022 07:42

preferably loudly when baby's just been put to bed.

TreePoser · 04/07/2022 07:46

antelopevalley · 29/06/2022 10:43

I think if they have not given me the money by the weekend, I will ask DP to go to their door for the money. I am not that assertive.

Yeh, the cheek of them. Id be mortified in their shoes.

Can you join revolut and see if they're on it? Then send a request.

TreePoser · 04/07/2022 07:46

antelopevalley · 03/07/2022 23:19

No apology, but I got the money.

Oh good!!

GoodThinkingMax · 04/07/2022 08:07

Hurrah!

I still think you should shame them on FaceBook ... warn other babysitters that it takes over a week to be paid, and that you gave them "mates rates" and they took the mick.

MachineBee · 04/07/2022 08:11

Glad you finally got paid, but very annoyed at how much stress you had to go through to get it.

I manage a musical group that was booked for a jubilee event at a local venue. We’d had lots of request for that date and had turned other bookings away. On the morning of the afternoon they cancelled. We asked them to pay a donation as it was so late and we couldn’t play elsewhere by then. One month later we still haven’t been paid and after several emails chasing, that received spurious response such as ‘have lost our bank details’ etc, I visited the venue.

Manager refused to see me citing ‘too busy’. When I got home she called to have a go at me (wasn’t too busy to call me then!). I sent another email summarising the visit, her call and the basic details of the non payment. Immediately had an email threatening me with serving a cease and desist order.

CFs are everywhere.

Lobelia123 · 04/07/2022 08:11

Shocking behaviour on their part...sounds like they wanted to string you along and pay only when they absolutely HAd to...or prefereably not at all. Just shows you, people can live in a nice house, have money to go out on date nights and to all outward appearances be decent normal folk, but actually just be cheating dishonest nipfarthings. The truth is they were withholding money due to you and by the next day when they hadnt paid I would have categorised it as an intent to steal. Inconvenience or lack of cash is quickly and easily solved within 24 hours - anything after that becomes intentional. So glad you got your money!

Ddot · 04/07/2022 08:16

Good for you,
now half before and half when the job done.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 04/07/2022 08:23

@MachineBee you need better terms and conditions for booking-you should have had signed contracts, with a 50% deposit paid before you confirmed that date and turned others down. You should then have had a sliding percentage of how much more needed to be paid if cancelled in the run up eg 75% up to two weeks before, 100% up to one week before. I thought this was standard practice in band management. So whilst poor behaviour on their part, as band manager it was also poor practice on your part that allowed that situation to arise.

Blondeshavemorefun · 04/07/2022 09:21

Glad got your money but you should have gone round their yourself the next day

MachineBee · 04/07/2022 13:14

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 04/07/2022 08:23

@MachineBee you need better terms and conditions for booking-you should have had signed contracts, with a 50% deposit paid before you confirmed that date and turned others down. You should then have had a sliding percentage of how much more needed to be paid if cancelled in the run up eg 75% up to two weeks before, 100% up to one week before. I thought this was standard practice in band management. So whilst poor behaviour on their part, as band manager it was also poor practice on your part that allowed that situation to arise.

In several decades this has never happened before. I guess we’ve been lucky, although we usually know our booking organisers personally. On this occasion we had played at the venue before without issue, but the manager has changed. We will be looking at our T&Cs to make sure they are clearer.

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