Managers should give us older workers a bit of respect!

[Stressedout65]

This is just a rant really. The options are to put up with it or move on. I've been doing my job (not with the same company) for 37 years. I've been a manager but now cruising along looking forward to retiring in a few years. I'm very happy not being a manager & just being that steady reliable person that every dept needs. However, this young girl has been promoted to a manager within the dept, but she's not my line manager. She is studying towards the same qualification I attained 30 years ago. I really think the "power" has gone to her head! She receives a lot of support from my very experienced line manager, which is a good thing of course. However, she seems to have taken the view that she should be micro managing me as well as her other reportees. My own manager does not micro manage me, I do not need it! I know my job inside out, I keep up with technology. There are no new, improved processes she's bringing to the table, she's not teaching me anything new, but seems to think she can tell me what to do to all of a sudden! I'm all for bringing the youngsters on, she's same age as my daughter, but remember youngsters, us oldies who have kept up with the times still have our faculties, do not need micromanaging & therefore deserve a bit more respect than that, we're not office juniors!
How can I manoeuvre her away from me without sounding like a jealous old woman who's had her day in the workplace. Ignoring her seems childish, but I'm.not going to be micromanaged by someone who has so much less experience, not even attained the qualification yet & does not know anything more about my.job than I do either! Otoh I don't want to be a manager either

hmmm so true.....but not bored enough to come back to clarify or answer questions...

I used to be in senior management, now I'm tootling along and know I could do my managers job with my eyes closed. Like you OP I don't want it, the days of stressing my head off are long gone, my mortgage is paid and I can afford to bob along.

I respect my boss, she respects me. I think you maybe should refer back to some of the communication techniques that you learned as a manager all those years go. Meet her where she is and put your view point across. I really think that if you were as brlliant as you say you were then these techniques should be old hat to you.

"I appreciate what your saying however,.......bang in what you need to change........ but thanks for your perspective" Otherwise known as the shit sandwich technique. Putting the negative between two positives.

or has has been said say "great point, I'll mention it to my manager", there are so many more.

If you can't communicate with her, or if she fails to listen only then would I refer it to your manager.

You get respect if you give it. I've found at times when someone has been there years, they can be inflexible with change. If cv there's a real issue, mention it to your manager.

Thanks ilovesooty. Agree it goes both ways.

Age doesn't automatically command respect. Why should it?

I'm in my mid-40s and have been working for about 25 years now. I would never in a million years talk about a younger colleague the way you're talking about yours and I would never assume that just because I'm older than some of my colleagues, I should somehow be treated differently to them.

You sound really complacent and stuck in your ways. As you said yourself, basically just cruising along to retirement and not really interested in professional development. Maybe that's why your new colleague has been asked to get involved a bit more - she's probably a lot more enthusiastic and open to improvement than you are, whereas you just assume you know it all.

You say she gets support from your line manager - are your manager and her manager the same person, then? Or is your manager just mentoring her while she's managed by someone different? Either way, if you do feel she's genuinely overstepping the mark and 'managing' you when you are on the same level as her, have a chat with your line manager about that and where you stand. But certainly don't bring the age/experience thing into it because you'll sound ridiculous and entitled. Just ask for clarification on reporting lines.

OK, hands up, I uses the incorrect terminology when referring to the manager in question. I am very good at my job. There have been no performance issues on my part. This has been confirmed in an appraisal with the relevant director. They released another member of staff last year as they were too slow & I was worth two of them in terms of work rate & performance; and this manager is aware of my positive appraisal. It is probably down to her inexperience & wanting to make her mark. I could raise the issue but I do not want to make myself look like the stereotypical older worker who thinks she rules the roost. I remember a few of those from my early days in the 1980's and I am most certainly not one of those. Neither do I mean that older workers should automatically command respect at all. What I do mean is that if an older worker is good at their job and has a lot of experience under their belts, moves with the times, then the younger
manager should respect that experience & trust that older member of staff to do the job properly, without micro managing. This manager knows my capabilities and that I do a good job so I don't see why she suddenly needs to do this. I've said nothing so far, I just tell her it's taken care of & ignore any attempts to boss me around. Maybe she is on line to become my manager, I don't know; but if she is to become my line manager then I should be able to feel that trust in me that I get from my current line manager - who happens to be as young as one of my adult children. We work well together because he trusts me to do the job quickley & to a high standard. He therefore gets a lot of respect from me and I will go the extra mile when we are exceptionally busy. Respect is a two way thing. It is also not my job to tell this new manager how to manage or guide her with my supposed "people skills" gained from my time many years ago as a manager, as someone suggested further up the thread. Now that would really be overstepping boundaries don't you think!

I think it needs saying, pretty much as you have in your OP, that you’ve been qualified in what she’s training for for the last 30 years and don’t need micro-managing.

I know w we just you mean, I had a new manager 2 years ago & have now trained her well. She no longer micromanages me.

It's not as if OP has actually called her a young girl to her face though is it

I doubt it's to do with age. She has been given a job as a "manager" and has yet to learn that some staff need more input and scrutiny than others.
I have been in both situations.
I suggest a gentle word with her about delegation and management styles.

@10HailMarys yes I am cruising along to retirement and have no interest in professional development. Been there & bought the t shirt. I have no dependants, no mortgage or rent, I do not need to develop in the workplace. The younger generation have a long hard slog in front of them with the housing and cost of living crises and they should be the ones pushing ahead & being given the chances if they want them. I've done my time, had my chances. I therefore do not have an issue in being managed by someone younger. When you get to my age its inevitable that is going to happen. I do not think my posts give the impression that I'm stuck in the past & behind the times. I have kept up to date with my industry & technology & new processes. I am, however, that steady, reliable worker who does a very good job, as has been clarified in my appraisal, who will go the extra mile to make sure deadlines are met. I am never off sick, still have my good memory. I'm not a dinosaur who has not kept up with the times, so I would like to feel that trust & respect from a manager that I can get on with the job without being micro managed & bossed around as if I were a child.

You could just start replying "Bless your heart" in a sympathetic tone to everything she says.

tbh you are giving the impression that you are quite hard to work with and can't teamwork. But then I tend to disbelieve people who tell me how good they are, rather than letting their actions speak for them. Obviously difficult online but do you go around telling people how great you are at your job constantly when you're in work? And you do sound as though you have it in for this young girl quite a bit!

You need to manage your manager. People new to management take some time to really understand that people are different and need to be managed differently.

I would like to feel that trust & respect from a manager that I can get on with the job without being micro managed & bossed around as if I were a child.

If she's not your manager, then why does it matter what she says? Take that up with your manager.

If she's not your manager, how exactly can she be micro-managing you?

How long have you worked at this particular place OP?

I'm all for bringing the youngsters on, she's same age as my daughter, but remember youngsters, us oldies who have kept up with the times still have our faculties, do not need micromanaging & therefore deserve a bit more respect than that, we're not office juniors!

How gracious of you supporting bringing the youngsters along.
🙄

It would be good to get some specific examples of the disrespectful behaviour- and also useful if you're bringing it to your manager.

I have had experience of being managed by someone younger and less well qualified than myself when I dropped a grade when DS was younger. Really the best option is to smile and nod and give the person enough confidence in your abilities to mostly leave you alone.

This. Older workers and older people in general are much disparaged on MN unfortunately.

I am in your position exactly OP. My most recent line manager is very young, keen and able, is a good manager but I have forgotten more about the job than she knows. I made it very clear albeit in a polite way from Day 1 that I preferred to manage my own case load and didn't require input from her and she backed off.

I copy her into important stuff and occasionally send her an email asking her for an opinion and this keeps her happy.

My office runs on workhorses like me that do the job properly but are not looking for promotion or to move roles every 5 minutes.

I gave up my management role in my early 50s, when I was widowed and realised that life's too short to be run ragged. I went back to my class teacher role, and was very happy to have a line manager significantly younger than me.

And yes, in one that calls out boomer ageism, and I'm calling out the other side of ageism on this OP. It's not age that's the issue here, it's someone new to management who's scared of something going wrong on their watch, and consequently micromanaging. She'll relax into it at some point and realise it's unnecessary.

Seriously, when you realise that you're at risk of starting to be that old bat who rolls their eyes at everything and everyone new, it's time to retire. That's what I did at 61. I'd run out of adaptability, and didn't want my career to end on that kind of note. Being a reliable 'elder statesman' type who people could come to for non- judgemental advice had been really pleasant for those last few years, and that's how I wanted to go. Not sneering at naive but enthusiastic colleagues in their 20s.

Actually forget my previous question.

I've just checked and you've only worked at this place for 6 months?!?

You make it sound like you're part of the furniture.

@AchatAVendre of course I do, all day, 🙄

@TeapotTitties I don't remember saying I'd been in this job 6 months?

So older people who had issues with younger people, in the 80s, when you were younger were the ones causing issues.

Now, you are older it’s the younger people who are the issue?

i wonder if you had an ability to self reflect, you may actually realise those older workers, back in the 80s, may have been in similar situations to you.

it’s amazing that both times you recall dealing with age related problems at work, you have been on the right side.

it’s not about age. Tackle the fact that someone who isn’t your manager is attempting to micro manage you. That’s it.

but no, older people don’t just get respect. And being an office junior, doesn’t mean you should accept disrespect.

Your view of the workplace is very very old fashioned. I would probably review your own thinking, before speaking to your own manager.