Managers should give us older workers a bit of respect!

[Stressedout65]

This is just a rant really. The options are to put up with it or move on. I've been doing my job (not with the same company) for 37 years. I've been a manager but now cruising along looking forward to retiring in a few years. I'm very happy not being a manager & just being that steady reliable person that every dept needs. However, this young girl has been promoted to a manager within the dept, but she's not my line manager. She is studying towards the same qualification I attained 30 years ago. I really think the "power" has gone to her head! She receives a lot of support from my very experienced line manager, which is a good thing of course. However, she seems to have taken the view that she should be micro managing me as well as her other reportees. My own manager does not micro manage me, I do not need it! I know my job inside out, I keep up with technology. There are no new, improved processes she's bringing to the table, she's not teaching me anything new, but seems to think she can tell me what to do to all of a sudden! I'm all for bringing the youngsters on, she's same age as my daughter, but remember youngsters, us oldies who have kept up with the times still have our faculties, do not need micromanaging & therefore deserve a bit more respect than that, we're not office juniors!
How can I manoeuvre her away from me without sounding like a jealous old woman who's had her day in the workplace. Ignoring her seems childish, but I'm.not going to be micromanaged by someone who has so much less experience, not even attained the qualification yet & does not know anything more about my.job than I do either! Otoh I don't want to be a manager either

Is this perhaps a reverse?

The "young girl" and 'needing more respect than the office junior' sounds like it could be.

Me too.

I have a manager like this who evidently feels threatened by my superior knowledge and sheer weight of experience; especially seeing as most of my co-workers come to me, not her for help!

This is NHS which is famous for its poor middle management. People get promoted (often as the only applicant), then completely fail to get any training so reinvent the wonky wheel, time after time.

This person should be grateful that no shit goes down on my watch, but they lack the maturity to recognise that I don't want your job as I've done it in the past- but I showed respect for the older workers who were competent, reliable, but who didn't want a management job.

@Justcallmebebes you need to have a re-read, she makes multiple disparaging, ageist remarks.

"She receives a lot of support from my very experienced line manager ..."
Then I would raise her attempts to micromanage you with YOUR manager. Suggest that she needs support in this particular area, to not expend time and energy where it is not needed.

Calling an adult woman a 'young girl' is ageist.

Where are the anti-ageist posters who rise up when they hear terms like boomer?

Also NHS middle management, having the same experience. In a recent course we were asked how we would react to a younger manager, my response was that at my age it would be quite hard to have an older one! I keep my head below the parapet, do my job and count the days to retirement!

Look at your own prejudices!!

Your use of “girl” and “youngsters” is telling me all I need to know.

Almost every single response has addressed this...

She isn't OP's boss.

If it's okay for you to call her 'young girl' she can call you an old woman.

OP, can you ask your manager to speak to her and point out that managing you is not her job?

Maybe her boss has asked her to see if she can improve your productivity as you're "cruising"?

have some fun with it op!!

she'll trip herself up eventually

Honestly I would just completely ignore her. What's she going to do about it?

Firstly - irrespective of the ages of the people involved here, respect is earned, not automatic.

Next, as this trainee manager is not your direct manager, if they ask you to do anything, refer them to your manager. Something like this might work:
Trainee Manager (TM) - Hi @Stressedout65 , I need you to do X, Y and Z as I noticed that they weren't done properly.
StressedOut - I think you should run that one by my manager TM, I'm only doing what they asked me to do.
TM - Ok then. I'll check with them and get back to you.

They then go off to check with your manager and get told that you're doing fine and you don't have to do X, Y or Z or your manager will approach you to ask you to do X, Y and Z as requested. The latter though is a request coming from your manager not TM (just to clarify).

How can I manoeuvre her away from me without sounding like a jealous old woman who's had her day in the workplace.

Well (and hear me out cos this is just an idea) you could stop patronising the fuck out of her.

Stop calling her a 'young girl' when she clearly isn't and cut the sexist phrases like 'oldies'.

If you want to continue to be the dependable head down sort of worker that has far less responsibility than most managers, you'll have to get used to being managed by younger people.

If you do have a meeting with your manager leave age out of it or you'll (rightfully) be disciplined.

Everyone at work deserves to be treated with respect, the issue is the micro managing by the sound of it, her age is irrelevant as is yours- I recognise your attitude in lots of people I have worked with and its not pleasant. Address the management style if you feel it impacts your negatively, if she puts forward new ideas etc then give professional feedback surely ie we have tried that before and it didn't work, or it probably won't work because of x reason. I've found lots push back for the sake of it to try and prove a point about how amazing they are as they've been there years. Not always the case.

I'm an anti ageism poster and I agree with you. It doesn't just go one way.

How can I manoeuvre her away from me without sounding like a jealous old woman who's had her day in the workplace.

You don't "manoeuver" anything. You bring the situation immediately to your own line manager's attention like a grown adult and address the problem head on, promptly. If she doesn't have the authority to tell you what to do, then a direct and clear meeting will resolve that immediately and you can go back to casting your way to retirement.

She may have less experience but she’s been promoted and now outranks you whether you like it or not. If any manager asks a member of my team to do something, I expect it to be done regardless of reporting lines.

Respect is earned, not given based on age and this goes both ways.

Frankly, you sound like a patronising know-it-all. You may have kept up to date, but it might be time to move on. The reliable pair of hands is great, but there is a fine line between that and becoming a pain who has to be worked around for the rest of the team/department.

You're certainly been the author of a few interesting threads recently, @Stressedout65 . One would almost think you are bored.

I like the post that says you can engage with her and ask her how she could feel more comfortable delegating. Ok she's not your line manager but she may have a role that impacts the whole team - leadership isn't just about line management.

If you're so wise and experienced you'll know that you have to work with people. The way to stop someone doing something annoying at work is not to grey rock them or be dumbly insolent or ignore and hope it all goes away... that's gonna make her feel more insecure.

Ask her for a coffee, ask her how she's finding the role. Ask her if there are any aims she has for the department and any changes she's thinking about. Ask her how you can help her and what she'd like you to do. Listen in a non judgemental way. You have peace and wisdom and a good angle on the problems she's running into for the first time. You might learn something too.

She may not be very good but you need to honour her ambition and desire to do well in her job and if she feels you are an ally you will not only look more mature and less petty you'll have an easier life.

Very disappointed to read someone referring to a woman over school leaving age as a 'young girl'. I thought we'd moved on from that in the 1980s.