Managers should give us older workers a bit of respect!

[Stressedout65]

This is just a rant really. The options are to put up with it or move on. I've been doing my job (not with the same company) for 37 years. I've been a manager but now cruising along looking forward to retiring in a few years. I'm very happy not being a manager & just being that steady reliable person that every dept needs. However, this young girl has been promoted to a manager within the dept, but she's not my line manager. She is studying towards the same qualification I attained 30 years ago. I really think the "power" has gone to her head! She receives a lot of support from my very experienced line manager, which is a good thing of course. However, she seems to have taken the view that she should be micro managing me as well as her other reportees. My own manager does not micro manage me, I do not need it! I know my job inside out, I keep up with technology. There are no new, improved processes she's bringing to the table, she's not teaching me anything new, but seems to think she can tell me what to do to all of a sudden! I'm all for bringing the youngsters on, she's same age as my daughter, but remember youngsters, us oldies who have kept up with the times still have our faculties, do not need micromanaging & therefore deserve a bit more respect than that, we're not office juniors!
How can I manoeuvre her away from me without sounding like a jealous old woman who's had her day in the workplace. Ignoring her seems childish, but I'm.not going to be micromanaged by someone who has so much less experience, not even attained the qualification yet & does not know anything more about my.job than I do either! Otoh I don't want to be a manager either

This younger person is ALSO devoid of respect it seems...

By your own admission, you're "cruising along", so not working particularly hard. Definitely not putting in any extra effort.

You've described the manager as a "young girl" and said you "deserve respect" because you're one of the "oldies". This is ridiculous. You're making this an age issue, which it's not, so you're currently discriminating against the manager on the basis of age, which is illegal.

I've managed plenty of people who are younger than me and older than me - for me, age is irrelevant. It's about how much experience they have, and how hard they work. You might have more experience than this manager, but given you don't seem to be putting in any extra effort, has it occurred to you that she's trying to give you more support to help get more out of you? Why should she assume you don't want to achieve more purely because you're "retiring in a few years"? She's treating you like any other worker.

By the sounds of it - and this is entirely based on your side of the story - she's being respectful by ignoring your age, and you're being disrespectful by making a big deal of her age.

You should be able to put in a coffee with her and explain to her that you have a lot of experience and don't require the micro managing.

Why do you not feel able to do that?

Sounds like she hasn't got the balance right with delegation and team working. Why not have a gentle talk with her and help her see that. Agree ways of working between you.

I've been micromanaged. You have to grey rock, smile and nod, pretend you are listening while actually thinking about what you'd like for tea, anything to stay sane and civil.

Yabu . What's her age got to do with it
Also she us a woman. Not a girl

*is

Micromanaging usually means one of two things:

1. The manager is new to managing people. In which case, they'll micromanage everyone, not just one person. The OP doesn't mention anyone else complaining.

2. The person being micromanaged is not performing to expectations, and the manager is trying to get more out of them before things move to a performance improvement plan and possible dismissal. The OP has admitted to cruising along in their job and counting down to retirement.

I would agree that 1) is terrible, and I'm not keen on managers who haven't learned how to manage people.

If you're the subject of 2), you've brought it on yourself. I hate micromanaging people, and as such, I really hate having to manage underperformers in this way. It's just as unpleasant an experience for the manager.

I totally get you too OP and I don't think your post comes across as in the slightest bit disrespectful.

Can you speak to your line manager?

Perhaps this adult woman is picking up on your appalling ageism and doesn't think you are worthy of respect.

Perhaps you should see if HR can book you on a course to deal with your prejudices

Do office juniors not also deserve respect, then?

Are you actually doing your job as well as you think? I work with a number of much older, very experienced people with an attitude similar to your own. Not a problem on my shift but our manager is pulling her hair out because she regularly receives complaints from clients about these same older people, who are also making a number of mistakes due to being forgetful, for example. However they're so convinced of their own experience and professionalism that they refuse to listen to her. Ask yourself if there may be a reason your colleague feels the need to micromanage you.

Although your post is a bit , shall we say, "off" I understand it is a rant and people tend to use wording that they would not normally do so otherwise. I also totally get the sentiment behind the rant. When someone has being doing a job for a long time it is infuriating when somebody else (who is less experienced), decides that they know better and are not prepared to listen. By all means voice your ideas, but if somebody with more years under their belt tells you that a), it's already been tried and b), it didn't work then listen to them. Yes former "training manager" I AM looking at you.

Why don't you try and help her with your experience and knowledge then? Encourage and support her to advance in her career - rather than dragging her down for trying her best in a role you didn't want.

I’d ask for a meeting with your line manager and her, and explain how you feel and that it’s causing you stress in the workplace. Also asking outright if she has issues with your output that is causing her to be on your back all the time. If not, kindly ask her to leave you alone to get on with your job!

I’d get it on record so if it continues and you feel the need to raise it with HR as a bullying grievance you have proof it’s been raised with your line manager.

She's not a girl, she's a woman. One in a more senior position than you.
Maybe she wants more than coasting in your department. Doing things the same way you've done them for thirty years isn't always the best way.

I think what everyone is missing here is that the younger member of staff is not the OP's boss. So she should not be telling her how to do her job.

If she thinks the OP needs to do something differently, she should raise it with the OP's line manager.

I agree with this.

Remember though, that things change, and what didn't work last time, might work this time. It's worth keeping an open mind. The main issue here is that someone who is not the OP's boss is trying to micro-manage her. The OP has made it too much about age, but actually that would annoy anyone! In fact any sort of micro-managing is annoying unless you like being spoonfed, but when it's not your own manager it is really annoying.

Just tell her you know how to do the thing.

What has she asked you to do?

You sound patronising and difficult. I tend to micromanage people who I think are difficult because I don’t trust them to actually do their job. At the end of the day as a senior person it is up to her to make sure things get done and to the required standard and I would keep an extra eye on someone who was proving to be disengaged with me

Patronising, much, OP. If this 'girl' wrote the post in reverse she would be called out on ageism.

Just keep saying 'yes, I know' until she gets the message and stops being so arrogant.

A situation will arise where her lack of experience shows. I work in events and had a new marketing graduate do the same until she got to a recent conference and was panicking at her own inability to put up a display until I pointed out she had built it upside down.

She's stopped being arse 😊

This is her inexperience. When I first started managing people I found it hard to ‘pitch’ the level of involvement for each person.

As she isn’t your manager, I would discuss it with your manager.

Its not an age thing. I have had older managers who want to micromanage.

Have you raised it with her at all? I'd suggest you have an informal meeting and say you notice she has been asking you to do x y and z...and ask her a load of questions such as 'what about my work I've done so far with you makes you think I need daily involvement', 'what can I do to make you feel comfortable delegating this task' and tell her that the constant x y and z she does is making you feel like you're not trusted to get on with it. See what she says. Follow it up in writing. If she has to oversee or get involved with your work, agree a timeframe for this eg weekly catch up meetings of half an hour to go through anything formally.

Op I totally get what you are saying. You should have just said inexperienced instead of young then we wouldn't have had pointless posts about you calling her a girl, which is what I call the kids at work because most of them are between 30 and 40 years younger than me so to me they are boys and girls.
I have a lot of conversations in my head when they seem surprised that I know stuff, quite a lot of stuff actually. I may be slower physically than them but I am absolutely shit hot at my job.