More presents and no party or less presents and a party?

[Itscrapbutiwatchit]

For Dd, turning 4 in July.

Trying to sort out her party and it’s so pricey 🙈can’t do in our garden as it’s a fairly good size but just won’t fit everyone. The place I'd like it at is great and provides everything aside from the cake and balloons, I’d order a cake and sort balloons etc.
I want to get her a bike and a few other bits…these few other bits seem to come up to a large amount too, now I’m looking at the list.
I can’t afford it all, would you do the party and just a few presents or all the presents and no party, aside from a fuss at home with balloons, cake, presents with her grandparents and a pizza & ice cream out?
She’s very outgoing and sociable (I’m less so 🤣) so I’m thinking she’d love the party?
I don’t know…I have real guilt about not giving her a party, does it matter?

What about a small party at home? Party games you organise, and a home made spread. Parties don't need to be expensive affairs. Or you could hold it in the park if nice weather.

To be honest, it sounds a bit insane. When my kids were younger, I went with the party and a small present. However, small was really small so a book for example.

When they got older (over 10) they had a choice of party or a bigger present but the bigger present was never more than €100.

So I would say, if she'd like a party, go with that and give a small present. My dc loved the party.

Save your money until she’s older. At 4 you honestly do not need to do a big spendy party. Invite the kids you can fit in the garden. There will be years of birthday celebrations to come, don’t set expectations too high!

I think do a small party at this age, just family and maybe a few friends. Too big could be overwhelming and they probably won't remember it or appreciate it. Save the big party for when she is six.

Small party at home, with about 5-6 friends, balloons, party games, jelly and ice cream and birthday cake. She is the perfect age to enjoy this kind of party and it needn't be expensive.

Save the bigger and more elaborate parties for when she's 10 or 11 and less easily pleased!

A bike is a major present. If you do decide to give that, you really don't need to give any other presents as well.
Would that make things more affordable?

Ah it's a tough one.

Parties are ace.

I do think parties are worth less presents for

Second hand bike, she would not have a clue. I bought my first 2 new bikes and cost a fortune, I regretted it once I realised I could get my hands on a decent second hand one for a fraction of the price. At 4 she won’t know or care. By the time I had number 3 most of her birthday and Xmas gifts were second hand.

you could still have the party and get her what you want this way.

She will have absolutely no memory of the party. I promise. My kids are 17 and it drives me crazy to think of how I ran myself ragged. The party would be for you —I would skip for now. Do something small and get her the bike.

I prefer memories and occasions to stuff that gets grown out of pretty quickly. personally I’d get everybody to clip together for the bike so you don’t get a big pile of useless plastic shite and you don’t have to chip in for the big gift either.

Whilst I do agree with previous paster is they don’t have any memory of the actual party mine love looking at the photos. They re-live it through the videos etc, parties, family holidays too

Well, it depends on your daughter a bit. Does she have lots of friends? Will she mind not having a big party? Or does she have a few friends you could invite for tea and games at home without spending £££ that she’d enjoy more? Could she wait until Christmas for the bike?

I really can’t do at home this year as we need a re-paint of the house and don’t feel massively comfortable doing it there. This place has lots included and the kids have been before and love it. I’m veering towards that and attempting somehow to cut the list down…I’m rubbish as I know she’d love all the presents, but have to be ruthless..god, kids are expensive!

If you go for the party, she’ll most likely end up with lots of presents anyway.
At that age, I went for both with mine. However, in hindsight, it was far too much. They didn’t play with good the stuff, so a waste.

@bridgetreilly We could do the bike a Christmas 🤔 but I usually have a main present with smaller ones, so not sure what to replace that with..was thinking roller skates as have seen some toddler/young children ones at a reasonable price and she’s expressed interest before and a skateboard too, then maybe her cuddly toy type ones 🤷🏻‍♀️

At the age of four, I'd probably go for a couple of birthday celebrations e.g. 3/4 friends come over to play in the garden and then make their own pizza to eat. On a different day invite local grandparents etc. and celebrate by having a cake with them.

How much do you all spend on presents or presents and party?

Also, are there some ages that you generally celebtrate/celebrated more? I mean, is 5 a biggie and we wait for that? Do they want proper parties the older they get or does it tail off a bit to cinema outings etc?

Do whatever option gives you more time together. Makes some decorations together. Bake a cake together. And unwrap a few pressies together. Less stress, more memories. Hope you have a wonderful day.

At 4, she honestly won't remember that you usually do a big present and some small ones.
I'd go for the party and if you can afford it, the bike, as she will get more use out of it over the summer than at Christmas. Then spend less at Christmas.

It’s a given that we’ll celebrate with grandparents as they’ll be with us on the day of her actual birthday. I always do balloons, pressies, make a cake and either a nice tea party/dinner with them or we all go out for ice cream/dinner etc, so it’s always celebrated, I just feel this sort of guilty feeling like she should have a party.

I assume the invites are from school? How many kids does she regularly talk about and play with?

I'm not sure if mine remembers her 4th birthday party however I do and while I haven't actually done loads of parties for her, her 4th one was by far the best.
Don't regret it for a second. I will remember it even if she doesn't

@SleepingStandingUp She starts school in September, they’re friends from mums meet ups, my friends kids etc, she’s close with around 5 of them I’d say and counts them as pals, asks after them etc. It’s minimum 10 for the party so we’d invite 9 other friends with Dd

It’s price per head for each child