More presents and no party or less presents and a party?

[Itscrapbutiwatchit]

For Dd, turning 4 in July.

Trying to sort out her party and it’s so pricey 🙈can’t do in our garden as it’s a fairly good size but just won’t fit everyone. The place I'd like it at is great and provides everything aside from the cake and balloons, I’d order a cake and sort balloons etc.
I want to get her a bike and a few other bits…these few other bits seem to come up to a large amount too, now I’m looking at the list.
I can’t afford it all, would you do the party and just a few presents or all the presents and no party, aside from a fuss at home with balloons, cake, presents with her grandparents and a pizza & ice cream out?
She’s very outgoing and sociable (I’m less so 🤣) so I’m thinking she’d love the party?
I don’t know…I have real guilt about not giving her a party, does it matter?

Picnic party at the park sounds great fun and a much cheaper option too.

We did opposite and most people at school seemed to do similar. Nursery and reception it was big parties inviting whole class, bouncy castle in hall type things . As they get older then a few friends to a more expensive activity like bowling or soft play, then as they get towards teenage maybe one friend for a meal, theme park or similar

You don't need wine or alcohol at a children's party.

Big class parties usually start at school ime. Would a meet up at a park with games and you supply a picnic work for the 5 friends, with back to yours at a pinch for rainy day (noone will notice/care your house could do with a lick of paint).

After reception some parents do yearly, others smaller or every other. By y2/3 it's usually a smaller group of close friends doing an activity. We've had climbing, pizza making etc in y3.

I don’t know about you but I do!!! If not at the party then immediately after

If she has 5 close friends it seems an awful waste of money to have to round up an extra 4 kids just to have the party at a party venue! I'd be tempted to wait until next year for that one.

I'd do a small tea party/picnic, at home/in the garden/at the park, and buy a second hand bike.

Hope you have a lovely day whatever you decide!

You are seriously overthinking all of this, no one cares if your house needs repainting ? Can the grandparents contribute towards the cost of the bike (but a second hand one is great).
Just enjoy the celebration without worrying about what others think or what you 'should' spend.

Roller skates at this age are a waste. All 3 of mine had them and they never bothered with them after the first try. My older DCs are only just really getting into skating (10 &8). My oldest asked for a skate board for her 4th birthday, but again didn’t do it much. Unless these are activities you do as a family and got someone to spend time with her I wouldn’t bother.

Last year when my dd turned 4 she got a big cardboard Cinderella carriage to colour from Aldi or Lidl, she loved it. Quality wasn’t the best I prefer the ones from hobby craft. But she’s asked for another house this year. They arnt expensive and little ones love they can decorate them themselves and play in them. She got a scooter from homebargins for £8, Princess shoes from home bargains and little bits of jewellery/makeup, as that’s what she likes.

she’s turning 5 next month and I’ve got her a Barbie Skipper park play set from Aldis clearance, small box of Barbie blocks (like Lego) and a Barbie wheat pack. All from Aldi in the sales. She’s asked for the play set and Lego. She has a Barbie “dream house” play set I bought for £16 last year, they are great as you can pack them away. I’ve also bought her Encanto figures off Amazon, these are extra as I’m doing her an Encanto cake, so I will use them for the cake and she can keep them afterwards. The only other thing she has asked for is Encanto Lego, she’s already got the Isabella play set she bought with Christmas money. I will probably ask the grandparents to get her the Lego so I can get her the cardboard house and some decent markers.

I’ve always done big parties, my youngest is the only one to not really have them with covid. Last year we got a bouncy castle at home with 6 friends. We’ve invited a few more this year but I don’t think many will come as it’s school holidays, but that’s fine as long as she has a few friends she won’t care. My older 2 had big affairs at village halls & play areas. As they get older the parties shrink to a few friends going bowling/clip n climb etc…

No 4yo's birthday should be putting financial strain on a family. If you need to add it up and worry about this, don't do it.

I'm sure she will love a party, but she'll love a small one in the garden too. Just invite the numbers you can accommodate.

Get the bike if you can. There'll be other presents because guests will bring some.

Parties don't have to cost money. I've been to a lot and the best one I went to was one where the parents took us to the park and did a little scavenger hunt with the kids. Then a quick barbecue, cake and cup cakes. It probably cost about £30 total.

Definitely do the bike. Could she have a party for a few close friends at home, and over the week before and after invite the groups of friends you have around for snacks (and I mean snacks, crisps, possibly sausage rolls nothing more) and an ordinary cake which you can add candles to each time. That way, each group she sees which have a birthday feel and I suspect many will bring presents which she'll love opening. Parents will understand.

4 is quite young for a party but if you really think she would love it then party plus a couple of small presents.
A bike is a really major present particularly if you buy it new .I wouldn't buy a new bike for a 4 year old as they grow quickly unless you have younger DC and DNS to pass it on to.

We did a party for DDs 4th birthday but then we only buy 1 or 2 presents for her anyway, as she gets loads from other people. Normally spend £50 or so on presents

And don't forget a party means she will get 20 presents from all the friends etc.

I just make sure i give present ideas to family and friends from the list i know DD will want, so for example she likes paw patrol so for her birthday a few of my friends bought 1 character each.

Tbh mine got over excited about their birthday parties and often ended up in tears , I’d keep it small , and a bike would gets lots of use over the summer

parties can be overwhelming, too much excitement and anticipation - at any age

Is it a place you can go to without it being a party (eg soft play)? If so, just take the 5 friends and have the party tea at your house, rather than having the party package and having to invite more. (In fact, when DD went bowling for her birthday, I rang the place and said our numbers were too low for the official birthday party package, but was it okay to bring her cake in? They were absolutely fine with that, so it's worth asking.)

I think at 4 she is probably going to be very easily pleased. I think she needs something to unwrap, a birthday cake to blow the candles out and sing happy birthday. People around her who will make a little bit of a fuss and make her feel special.

A think a bike is important, but she may not need it for her birthday? Does she already have something to ride? I also think second hand is fine, provided it safe. I would perhaps get one other little thing to unwrap as bikes can take a while to get set up and riding. But a few pounds will buy you a book/jigsaw/small toy. Definitely no need for more than that. I assume some other family will buy gifts too? And friends if she has a party. Which might mean you needn't get anything but the bike.

At 4 definitely wouldn't do a large party, regardless of cost. A handful of friends at your house for a little tea and simple games would be lovely. Plus a couple of family members if around. Large groups are a nightmare. And the fact your house needs repainting does not matter at all!!! Probably better to do it before it is repainted in fact.

I want to get her a bike and a few other bits…these few other bits seem to come up to a large amount too, now I’m looking at the list.

A bike is a big present - no need for other bits and pieces IMO.

I would save the big party til next year ..
Those 1st primary years are the main big party times..
She'll have new friends she makes herself at school .... etc
This year id get the bike and family celebration...maybe some close friends n kids surely their not going to care about painting!
I would save the expensive places til bit older....dc def appreciated more 7+