More presents and no party or less presents and a party?

[Itscrapbutiwatchit]

For Dd, turning 4 in July.

Trying to sort out her party and it’s so pricey 🙈can’t do in our garden as it’s a fairly good size but just won’t fit everyone. The place I'd like it at is great and provides everything aside from the cake and balloons, I’d order a cake and sort balloons etc.
I want to get her a bike and a few other bits…these few other bits seem to come up to a large amount too, now I’m looking at the list.
I can’t afford it all, would you do the party and just a few presents or all the presents and no party, aside from a fuss at home with balloons, cake, presents with her grandparents and a pizza & ice cream out?
She’s very outgoing and sociable (I’m less so 🤣) so I’m thinking she’d love the party?
I don’t know…I have real guilt about not giving her a party, does it matter?

I would wait and do a party when she starts school
Maybe have a few friends over for a play and no party. Celebrate with grandparents and put money aside for the party for next year

For us we didn’t do a party (except family tea) until 4.

At 4 we had a traditional party games type thing in a hall, but a garden would work - 5 friends sounds perfect.

5-8 we had whole class parties or bigger parties, often with an activity.

9 upwards more of a 4-6 friends to go do something or a sleepover.

No one will care about your house painting, I promise! But if you’re going with the party at price per head place, then just get a bike (secondhand and buy some cheap handlebar streamers/a basket/funky helmet etc) and no other presents because all the party guests will bring smaller stuff to unwrap.

If the budget is that tight, skip the party and set aside some in savings. She won't remember it anyway.

See if you can get a used bike via Freecycle or Facebook.

A special fun dinner like pancakes with family is fine. We never had more than grandparents over on birthdays and didn't feel the lack.

Don't set the bar of expectations so high at a young age. Making the day a bit special is fine but it's not the royal coronation.

My kids would always appreciate the party more.

Exactly.

Don't spend on commercialized moments. Let her help make cupcakes & party hats, or tea sandwiches for grandparents. Simplify. Stop thinking in terms of "big" and "little " presents and worrying about Christmas gifts six months in advance. She's little more than a toddler.

That IS a party, and what most people grew up with.

She isn't at school yet so wait until she will appreciate it. Also don't start stretching yourself now if the list is already expensive cut out some presents. You are only setting yourself up for future years. Set a budget and stick to it. You can always bring her and your other kids to the play place just not as a party. Party with grandparents is plenty.

She’s four. I’d do a smaller party in the garden. But only one present from you. I’ve never heard of a child getting more than one present on their birthday. It’s not Christmas. And surely her relatives and friends will get her some stuff. Don’t overdo it. If you want to hire the centre, do that, though. Maybe the relatives could club together for a bike. Basic children’s bikes for little children don’t cost so much, do they?

How about something like this bike subscription bikeclub.com

You pay per month and swap it when it gets too small for them. Mines too young at the moment so I haven’t tried it

It’s common here to do a party in the park - kids play in the playground and you do some games and a picnic. Is that an option?

I dunno, I disagree that she'll definitely not remember the party - I remember my 4th birthday party, there was a bouncy castle! 😁

Personally I think go with the party and reduce the presents but you know her and what she'll enjoy best xx

I'm impressed you've never heard of a child getting more than one present for their birthday @daisypond . Surely it depends on the household and the family? Birthdays were always a bigger deal than Christmas here.

The 5 friends she is close with for a little party at home and a bike off Gumtree will do the job nicely. No one is going to look at your walls. Mine have absolutely no recollection of their 4th birthdays and I only remember DD’s as we had just moved, no idea what we did for DS.

Don’t turn the 5th birthday into a special one, save that for 18. The amount of money they costs as teens is so much more, Save whilst you can.

My daughter will be 4 in August. I'm doing a bouncy castle at home, hoping a few children will make it but there won't be more than 6 children.
I've spent about £70 on presents, they are smaller type ones as I have no idea what to get her. She's got a blippi doll, some lego, a paw patrol vehicle, some barbie colour change dolls
My eldest 8 had his first party this year as we've just not been able to afford it before now (daughters birthday falls during school holidays so not inviting someone 2 months before it)

My son had his birthday about 2 weeks ago, he had 9 presents
Couldn't imagine ever giving just 1 present

I would do the party. My almost four year old had his at the weekend and absolutely loved it - huge excitement beforehand as it was his first “proper” party (having been to his brother’s parties but not had one of his own yet due to Covid restrictions) and thankfully it lived up to expectations. She will
get lots of small presents from her party guests and you give one main present.

I am definitely an “experiences over piles of presents” parent - often they don’t appreciate the gifts and some will barely get played with. Much better to have a party she will love, especially if she is super social and outgoing.

I would cut costs on the cake and balloons. Supermarket or homemade cake and a few blown up balloons for the kids to play with rather than a helium balloon display. Then if still too much, the bike is plenty or you could get one extra gift rather than 3 or whatever. She may get birthday money from the party that you could lead her to choose the other things you wanted to get her

A few presents is very normal. I think your experience is unusual.

Grandparents' party and one big present (the bike?) is fine.
If you want to do something with her friends then take half a dozen for a picnic tea in the park.

4 year olds really do not need more. There are many more birthdays and parties to come.

We don't buy lots of presents for birthdays, they tend to get one big thing e.g the bike and maybe a helmet or a bell from their siblings.

All mine had a big party their first year in school. Before then it was small parties at home with the family.

Second hand bike and party. You can get some great condition ones and then resell for virtually the same value. That’s what we did after realising we were wasting our money on new ones that they grow out of quickly.

Im not sure about the roller skates at that age. I think she’d get more use out of a bike.

My DS is turning 3. He has a little birthday party on Sunday and the bouncy castle alone is £95!!! It was £60 when I booked it back in Jan. It says if the price goes up then can charge more etc but that's a big jump for a bouncy castle!

Pardon the pun. Didn't see what I did there.

At 5 after they are at school it tends to be whole class parties at a venue per head and you buy cake. It is more expensive. This year at 4 I would do a little party tea on garden for a few of her friends and if you are friends with the Mums give them a glass of wine and a piece of birthday cake.