Kids may be kids but also need to take responsibility

[Stinkyfirecracker]

We are very lucky to be able to get top end equipment when we decide to purchase something. This does mean that when our daughters school said she could have a lap top to help her with certain lessons, we got her a £1,000 worth of laptop as it seemed to fit the bill the best.

She has come home tonight and it is very damaged. She dropped it and it may have to be replaced.

She has an account she knows about with over £1k in it. Would it be unfair to ask for her to help (to the tune of maybe 25%) towards the costs of replacement.

We can replace it easily but I am just wondering about the principle of such a lesson making her value what she’s got and being less casual. After all, a contribution like that wouldn’t drain the account (and actually she has a lot more in accounts she doesn’t even know about like isa’s and pensions) but it would be a dent and she is very concerned about net worth and saving so it would hit her.

Is this a lesson you would teach your child at this age? And yes, she’s only 11 so this is why I am hesitant.

I wouldn’t spend more than £500 for a laptop they’re taking into school, I know for a fact one of mine would lose it immediately she’s utterly ditzy.

I would make her pay towards it, maybe she’ll be more careful, get a hard shell cover for the laptop so when she drops it again it’s at least protected a bit.

This is odd.
If the school has encouraged her to use a laptop then they provide it.
Schools actively dissuade students (unless post 16) from bringing in expensive pieces of equipment.
For obvious reasons.
She needs a laptop? School provides.

Why is the school not providing a laptop for her.

If she needs it as support for specific lessons then the la should be providing one for her.

Am guessing it’s an independent school.

I'm not sure I understand the issue. Next time you send the butler to the family vault to pick up some bullion, why not just have him pick one up on the way back?

Don’t make her pay for it. It’s not her fault you chose to buy her a very expensive piece of equipment and you could claim it on your insurance if you wanted to.

It’s up to you whether there should be a separate consequence for it getting broken though, which surely depends on whether it was a genuine accident or whether she was messing about with it at the time? If she literally just dropped it by accident it would be very unfair to punish her.

I think the lesson is on you.no child needs a £1000 laptop. Get a cheaper one. No need to make the child pay, it was an accident!

Cheaper and better for the environment to repair it if at all possible. If its a decent brand name machine it can almost certainly be fixed.

It depends- when you bought it did you give her the option of a cheaper laptop? Explain if it got damaged she’d be expected to contribute to repairs/replacement? If no, then I think you’re being unreasonable but if yes, well then you have your answer.

I'd buy a less expensive bit of kit for school and insure it properly for starters. She's 11 and it appears to be accidental. Let her learn from YOUR mistake and show her the problems you've caused yourself.

If it happened at school is there any chance you can claim it on the school's insurance? I broke my mum's digital camera at my school VI leavers ball. I stepped back to take a picture and get people in shot, slipped in unseen spilt booze under my stiletto heel in the dark and went down flat on my back- hard and fast. The hand I flung out to save myself unfortunately had the camera in it and the lense was fucked. When my mum stopped screaming abuse at me on the phone a friend reminded her the school had insurance, we were still covered and it was on school premises. They sorted my mum out with a replacement and I don't have a back or neck injury or get concussion. Win win.

Are you even for real? Why would you spend that much on a laptop that's being carried to and from school and not have taken out the insurance when purchased? Wasn't that a bit short sighted? You would then have accidental damage cover for the laptop.

We've had lots of mishaps with our home laptop, and it's been repaired easily each time, all under the insurance.

I'm sure it was just an accident, which can easily happen. What do you want your daughter to do exactly, other than say sorry, she's 11!

I think the person that needs to learn a lesson here is you.

I'm guessing you bought an Apple.l? Agree with others, lesson learnt as DC do not need such an expensive but of kit.

Can it be fixed? If not and it's broken I would be replacing with cheap laptop/chrome book. I'm willing to guess that this will be met with a reaction from your DD. The 'punishment' for not looking after things is that you get a cheaper replacement. If that gets 'dropped' then there is no equipment to take to school and she has to use school computers.

My ds needs laptop for school as all of their books are digital. The first thing we did was buy gadget insurance. I'm glad we did because he dropped it and broke the screen and it's actually with the insurance company now for repair. We had to pay €75 excess. It was an accident, accidents happen and as adults it's our responsibility to prepare for them by insuring things that are important.

Nope, poor parenting choice on your part. Do not send children into school with over-specced technology and then be annoyed when accidents happen. Get her a laptop that's sufficient for her needs and no more. Then get it insured. Sure, if she'd deliberately chucked it under a bus there would be consequences but otherwise it's just normal damage to school kit, like ripping a hole in their blazer by catching it whilst running.

A few things. My DD is 16. A kind and conscientious person but perhaps due to teenage brain and perhaps so much in her head - with school work has by accident cracked numerous screens over the past four years. Given the amount of time they have spent on online work, the heavy use the things have and given the issues some teenagers have to grapple with I'm choosing my battles. I don't believe it has been deliberate its a learning curve.

Yes to a cheaper (and/or refurbished model)

Make friends with an old style repair shop which offer them refurbished at lower prices.

They will repair screens. Note: some companies screens are easier and cheaper to repair than others.

As others have said - sometimes it is not worth paying the excess on insurance and sometimes compainies like HP don't actually cover accidental damage anyway so I found that their care packages were fairly rubbish (there may be better ones out there).

There are also companies like Byteback in Bristol where you can donate/purchase broken laptops/buy refurbished items.

Finally, make sure they have a rucksack/bag with a proper - padded and correct size in the back.

This doesn't solve the dropping problem - but does solve the dropping the rucksack on the floor issue!

I second the padded bag idea. I think schools aren’t really set up for pupils carrying a grand’s worth of tech around with them (for obvious reasons)- eg at my kids’ school they all have to leave their bags outside the lunch hall in a pile and things get damaged or people accidentally pick up the wrong bag all the time.

When our DC wanted apple products rather than something else which would do the job we contributed to rather than bought so they could see exactly how much they cost and I also said I wasn't prepared to underwrite the liability of expensive gadgets at a young age so they needed to buy insurance for them or accept when something happened to them they paid the price. They got a free pass on a phone screen once but that's all. When DS broke an ipad screen he had to pay to repair. I completely understand teaching the value of money but unless like mine she begged for the (i'm going to say MacBook Air) rather than another perfectly suitable laptop then it's down to you. If you don't want to use household insurance take out the cover available when you buy a product. An 11 year old should not be concerned about net worth. I don't think it matters which world you move in, that is not an appropriate concern for an 11 year old and has been very much learned from you or her school/social network.

it would be a dent and she is very concerned about net worth and saving so it would hit her

Wow, poor kid. An eleven year old should not be worring about "net worth"

*worrying

Her net worth 😆

At 11 she understands about looking after her items. I’m presuming she is in secondary school or about to go into it. I would ask her how it happened and if she had been dropping it, depending on the damage if it has happened more than once. I would be asking her to pay for a replacement but get her to look at the laptops and pay for it. She needs to understand not to be so careless. My 10 year old son is also facing similar consequences with his television after he threw a remote at it and damaged the screen. This has now meant a loss of pocket money next month but I will be handing him the money to pay for it so he understands that it is a lot to pay out and also once he hands over that money he may be more responsible for his possessions and take better care with them.

An eleven year old taking a grand’s worth of MacBook to school. Hmm. Did you at least put it in a robust case?

Is she so used to have ‘top end’ everything that can be easily replaced, that she doesn’t value things?

You DD hasn’t dropped it on purpose. I’m not really sure why she’s got a £1k laptop surely at that age they only need a cheap one for homework. It’s a lot of responsibility to look after something so expensive at age 11.

Ha, just saw the net worth thing. Must be a wind up.

I think this is a valuable lesson. When she comes to month-end, this is going to hit cashflow (unless she's already accrued for it?). Could make for a disappointing Q2.