Kids may be kids but also need to take responsibility

[Stinkyfirecracker]

We are very lucky to be able to get top end equipment when we decide to purchase something. This does mean that when our daughters school said she could have a lap top to help her with certain lessons, we got her a £1,000 worth of laptop as it seemed to fit the bill the best.

She has come home tonight and it is very damaged. She dropped it and it may have to be replaced.

She has an account she knows about with over £1k in it. Would it be unfair to ask for her to help (to the tune of maybe 25%) towards the costs of replacement.

We can replace it easily but I am just wondering about the principle of such a lesson making her value what she’s got and being less casual. After all, a contribution like that wouldn’t drain the account (and actually she has a lot more in accounts she doesn’t even know about like isa’s and pensions) but it would be a dent and she is very concerned about net worth and saving so it would hit her.

Is this a lesson you would teach your child at this age? And yes, she’s only 11 so this is why I am hesitant.

That's what insurance is for surely? Again you're making her responsible for your poor decision making - once for buying something inappropriate, and a second time for not claiming because you don't want to.

If you have really got that much money just buy another one. No else needs to hear your boasting. Just because you can afford something, doesn't mean you have to get it...but you did, so just replace it.
If you think you don't live in a real world then random 'lessons' fired at your kids aren't going to make any difference.

OP, thank goodness you've added details such the other accounts that your DD has and how life is a veritable cornucopia of wealth and so on, but you've been
less forthcoming with how the thing was damaged, despite being asked a few times.

If you reveal this rather salient point, you could try to shoehorn in the value of your house, DM-style, as a bonus?

She dropped it! I said that

Yes. You said she dropped it. And after that, no more detail, despite pp asking. Was she careless, someone bump into her? Was she swinging it from an open window? Any other kids involved?

the principle of such a lesson making her value what she’s got and being less casual

In the absence of any of that, it was probably just an accident, and they happen to everyone. No sure what lesson she has to learn other than that, unless she's dropping thousands of pounds worth of equipment on a monthly basis.

May I suggest that when you get a new one you insure it with something like Protect My Bubble. That way if you need to claim it does affect your premiums.

And I have accepted it was an accident. It was a question. I got an answer. No biggie.

I am just wondering about the principle of such a lesson making her value what she’s got and being less casual

What's the principle and what's the lesson? You've accepted it was an accident.

it would be a dent and she is very concerned about net worth and saving so it would hit her

In what way is an 11 year old concerned with 'net worth?' Why do you want to do something to 'hit her' if it was an accident?

No biggie

But you've posted in AIBU...

Oh for goodness sake. It was a question @Vionnet. At the end of the day accidents happen but equally, as in everything in life, someone can impact whether or not they are more likely or less. I have got it wouldn’t be appropriate. Give it a rest now

Your 11yr old daughter is "very concerned about net worth" and you think it's totally normal to give her a £1,000 laptop, which she presumably knows the value of... Your family is placing far too much emphasis on cash.

We are very lucky to be able to get top end equipment when we decide to purchase something.

Just because you’re able to doesn’t always mean it’s the best idea. I’m always very conscious with kids that things get broken/lost more easily, so I don’t get them things that I’d regard as top end or expensive for that reason. Things do go missing and get broken at school and it’s not always wholly in the kids’ control. I’d always buy functional rather than top end for them on that basis, on the expectation that things need replacing more often.

Buy a new one and ask her to contribute whatever the excess would be on gadget insurance. Then get facet insurance for this one.

*gadget

Oh for goodness sake. It was a question @Vionnet. At the end of the day accidents happen but equally, as in everything in life, someone can impact whether or not they are more likely or less. I have got it wouldn’t be appropriate. Give it a rest now

Weird, eh? You post in AIBU and people comment and ask questions. I was trying to glean information beyond 'dropped it.'

Since you've still not answered how it happened - other than 'dropped it' - how can anyone actually say whether YABU to take money from your DD for it?

That's literally the whole point of your thread.

This definitely happened.

She does indeed need to be taught a lesson and sounds very spoiled and entitled! I would make her pay for the full repair from her pension pot. If it can’t be fixed, I’d replace it with a really untrendy one that she’ll feel embarrassed by. That’ll teach her.

Jeez do you think she did it on purpose? Have you never dropped anything?
If she did it again I'd be replacing it with a much cheaper model, but accidents happen and I don't see why she should be punished.
My son was careless with his phone, and also naturally clumsy. I definitely had any electrical equipment he had insured, and he would pay the excess if it got broken a second time, plus it wouldn't be replaced immediately. If he broke a controller in a fit of FIFA rage, then he did without. But he wasn't 11.

I learned early on to not get top of the line equipment ( or clothing, shoes, etc) for my kids. It’s not worth the hassle. I expect my kids to look after their stuff and should they break anything, they will get a chance to replace it or get it fix. Now, because the stuff they have is of good quality yet affordable, they can do figure out how to replace it themselves.That way they buy-in the “teachable moment”, so it’s more meaningful.

hey OP I think you shouldn't charge her for this it was an accident and I don't think the price tag would of made a difference in her dropping at her age.

I do think you paid a lot for a laptop and I personally would of gone for something slightly cheaper as a lot of things can happen like it can get stolen, left on the bus and dropped like this time.

I dont think there's a lesson for her to be learnt she was remorseful and that's the most important.

This reminds me of stories DC told about kids dropping their new phones to deliberately break them & get a newer better phone.

Totally beside the point of the thread but if you're not going to claim that kind of thing on insurance you can save a lot of money by significantly increasing the excess.

We cut our home insurance cost in half that way recently (because I never like claiming the small stuff so why pay as if you are going to).

I agree

How much extra would your home insurance cost? Maybe some of that could be reimbursed by your child. I think 11 year olds absolutely should be taking some of the responsibility for damage if it’s their fault due to carelessness, etc.

Have you just troll hunted yourself 🫢

Unless she broke it mucking about , I wouldn’t expect her to pay. Get insurance next time. School kids do break and lose things occasionally, even when they’re taking reasonable care.

Have you looked into whether it can be repaired?

Unlike others, I don’t think you’re mad to have bought an expensive laptop. My kids have Macs, as do I, because I think they’re worth paying for. But you can’t buy an expensive computer, fail to insure it and then kvetch about completely foreseeable replacement costs.