To think of running a festival/retreat for women who have just had enough?!

[TheHuntingoftheSnark]

A weekend in the early summer, before the schools break up.
Somewhere easy to get to by train, but in the countryside somewhere beautiful, a really relaxed hotel or other retreat building.
come with a group of friends or book a blissful room to yourself - baths in all rooms.
Some lovely lounges to relax with a book, chat to other women, play board games with great tea and coffee on tap
Great food but really relaxed and easy going
Wild swimming, walks and guided runs
a gym
Very optional talks, yoga, pilates, crafts, skills you can book on to if you want.
Arrive from Friday lunchtime, leave sometime on Sunday afternoon.
Can be badged as mandatory work training if it’s hard to get away.
Who’s in? And what else would you want or need?

I'd like a place please. What a truly wonderful idea.

Can we have a stables for guided hacks and pony grooming if anyone fancies it? Horses are very therapeutic 😃

Can I just move in, please? I'll hand my phone in at reception, and trust them to check it maybe once or twice a week and only pass on urgent messages about new books, music or chocolates.

Guys. I don't want to overexcite you all but...

www.applecrossretreats.com/

Don’t want to spoil the dream, but this doesn’t have to be wishful thinking. These types of retreat already exist, @OhRiRi, and @SisterAgatha , they will take your money!

I even did it!

Bliss. And a necessary investment in one’s self.

Love this please arrange it. I need this!

Place to leave phones locked away sounds heaven. And no booze and definitely not aimed for the prosecco brigade.

Dedicated silent or quiet areas. Or activities done in silence. No pressure to be sociable and just be in the moment and hear your thoughts.

It's called a spa.

Large comfy bed and a lie in. Late lazy breakfast with a good book and loads of coffee

Can I have the meat and wine end, please? Somewhere near a quiet beach for moonlit walking/sitting staring at the sea with a mug of coffee in the morning. Camp fire and ghost stories. Comfy beds. Deep deep sleep.

Yes please!
Can we have interesting veggie meals and gin?
Some sort of physical activity - wild swimming, walking.
And some interesting lectures on the night sky, foraging and gardening?

I'd be in if it was very strictly women only. No men sneaking in! No husbands/DPs "who you won't notice". No kids of any ages.*

I'm in the comfy bed, en-suite, but no alcohol. I want chat and laughter and a silent room with lots of fatboy double hammocks and blankets. In fact also a silent field with the same, but warmer blankets!

And I agree there's have to be some kind of symptom-free illness that would require us to stay for longer!

And shiatsu instead of massage so you don't need to be covered in oil in the middle of the day.

*and another should be run for mums with babies 6 months or younger, with good childcare on site if they wanted a couple of hours to themselves.

I want steaks , pudding and wine!

An outdoor heated pool dor me please

I'm your end. Dry weekend with no meat I na yurt is not the rest I want or need.

Yes please. But no penis allowed. Wine and meat and cheese on tap. I don’t want to talk to anyone at all all
weekend.

But no sodding horses, I want a break from mine! I’m happy with cats and dogs.

I need links now! Why redesign the wheel?!

I'd like to go. I just don't think there is a venue big enough. We could maybe rent the whole of Surrey?

I want bonfires/firepits/barbecues every night and women can build, tend and cook on the fires without worrying that they are committing some heinous social faux pas akin to publically cutting their husbands' bollocks off.

I'm in, another one for wine and meat section (woodfired pizza would also be acceptable).
Hammocks and blankets, wild swimming and campfire with some dancing. I'm fine with a yurt if the bed is comfy, but I also fancy a hotel room with PP's bed-sleeping cats. I'm up for some yoga, especially if it means we can wear 'lounge wear' all weekend.

Right, so if you’re going to satisfy everyone, we’ll be needing a heated lake, hot men but no men, so maybe AI men, silent music, hotel bedroom yurts with resident cats, invisible horses, vegetarian steaks and non alcoholic alcohol.

OP, you are basically describing exactly how Ragdale Hall was in the old days (apart from the wild swimming) when hardly any men went there. The first time I went, about 30 years ago, there was literally one man there, a sheepish older CEO-type who had clearly been prescribed a 'health farm' cure probably after an illness.
These days it's very 'couple-y'.
But the rest of it -- lovely house in the country, very good food that caters to everyone, pools, gym, yoga, lounges with board games, coffee/tea/cake available, quiet areas, evening talks, daily walks, it had all that.
I'd like to find an all-female place but think the only way to do that is to book a staffed luxury country pile that is rented out, with a group of like minded people. Probably cost ££££ though.

Sounds perfect I'm in

All incoming calls to mobile phones are intercepted at the front desk and husbands given answers like ‘in the cupboard under the stairs’ or ‘no, that’s normal’ and ‘well how would I know? Where did you have it last?’

I love this idea the best!

Hells teeth, I couldn’t think of anything worse !. I’d forming an escape committee. Call me Big X.

I am in team @MrsTerryPratchett and @PonyPatter44

meat and malbec please. And leave the sodding animals on the plate, I don’t want anything alive except humans. I have enough animals to look after at home. I need a break from my own horses too @Thursday37 !