...to feel roleplay is fairly normal?

[Crinkler]

DH and I have been together 15 years, our sex life eventually fell into a lull but about 6 months ago we started role-playing and since then it's been like it was when we first got together. We're totally 'caught up' in each other all over again and our relationship has never been better.

However a couple of nights ago I was talking to two good friends and the topic of role play came up... I never even hinted that this has recently rejuvenated my life but the general response within the conversation was my friends both laughing/mocking it. One even said it's only for 'deviants and weirdos'.

AIBU to say it's actually way more 'normal' and regular? Or am I unknowingly a sexual deviant? 😂

(And yes, I have name-changed for this!)

Yeah I think it's a bit weird and cringey

Not cringe and not weird. Everyone has a fantasy, why not to play a bit with that.

It's not my thing but I don't think it's out there or weird. It involves talking and dressing up in clothes, I consider the "out there" things to be things that are physically extreme/difficult/dangerous, like choking.

But I feel like at this point, sex is so talked about and all around us, hardly anything feels very "out there" any more. I'm a boring person with a boring life and even I can't remember the last time I was genuinely suprised hearing about a (legal, consentual) sex act. The days of being shocked that someone has a foot fetish or wears pvc are long over.

It’s not my cup of tea but I certainly don’t think it’s weird.

Objectively speaking, sex is weird. You touch and lick bits of each other you'd never go near otherwise. You put bits of your bodies into each other. There's sweat and noise and bodily fluids. And yet it's all lovely! So "normal" and "not normal" are completely useless concepts in this context.

The only thing to worry about is "Is everyone involved enthusiastically
consenting and enjoying themselves?" Which it sounds like you both are. It doesn't matter if everyone else is also into role-play, or if you're literally the only people on the planet who have ever tried it out (unlikely). As long as it's fun for you, crack on :-)

Are you being Sally and Tim from Corrie?

It sounds quite adorable actually. Anyway 2 consenting adults in private so you can do what you both like!

Pam and Mick from G&S when Mick puts on the Prince Charles ears! I'd find it too funny to be in any way turned on.

Completely rejuvenated our's! Five years and counting!

A bit ick for me, even more so you were talking about it with friends, but each to their own and whatever floats your boat! 😂

I knew it was going to be outlander! Dinna fash, sassenach

Clive and Juliana!

OP, is it Yennifer and Geralt?

i don’t think it’s any of your friends’ business though. Not something I’d want to talk about with friends.

“Deviant” lol

Your friend’s a prude.

It's not remotely deviant unless you're pretending to be a child.
It seems a bit 'Personal Services' to me, but I don't care what consenting adults do in their own time.

Clive Bixby and Juliana!
Gigi delarosa and Raul matadore 😂

It's not weird op, I think it's lovely you've reconnected with your Dh and are enjoying yourselves. Good on you x

I once had a boyfriend turn up at my front door wearing a Dalek Sec voicechanging helmet thing, and he expected me to um... do things to him while he wore it and said daleky things. So Outlander sounds absolutely fine to me.

Great sex can sometimes mean we have to access primal parts of ourselves which aren't very "normal". We have to be demanding or submissive or loud or free or physically move more or differently. And many of us have an everyday self that closes some of that down. Marriage and its responsibilities can also close that down between you.

Roleplay can be an amazing way of plugging into the real unashamed needs that some people find it hard to access in their normal everyday state. I personally love it. Some people don't need it, some do.

Maybe your friends are so buttoned up that they don't appreciate how good something that lifts you out of yourself can be? Or maybe they can get to primal sex easily from their daily mind state.

I reckon it's vastly better than having to get drunk or something to lose inhibitions.

exterminate exterminate ?????😁

That has got to be the nerdiest sex ever. I don't think it would turn me on but bonus points for creativity I guess?

It can be for sexual deviants - I once had a guy ask me to pretend to be a virgin and to call him “daddy” 🤢. What you’re doing sounds completely harmless and a bit of a laugh though. One of my friends loves role play and dresses up as Anne Boleyn to seduce her husband who pretends to be Henry VIII. She told me this years ago and I still can’t get the image out of my head 😂

Shibari is not role play it's rope play. It is trying with the focus on the aesthetics of the rope as much as the restraint. I like the restraint, my partner likes the art. But it's not role play in itself, It can be combined with role play though.

Role play is playing out the role and dynamics of other people (real or imagined) to offer a new perspective on your sex life. It's fun and the cringe factor disappears very quickly if you find yourself having great sex.

I'd guess your friends are secretly wishing their own sex lives could be more fun but their inhibitions get in the way so they trot out judgemental comments to piss on your chips.

Same 🤣🤣

Ah yes I know what it is - Peppa Pig!

Daddy Pig and Mummy Pig (Snort Snort)

I think it is fairly normal.

Nowt wrong with a bit of roleplay in the bedroom! I don't think it's deviant at all! Keep the home fires burning and all that! DH and I have been together for nigh on 18 years and during that time we've dressed up for each other etc.

I think sometimes the ones who shout loudest about 'deviants and weirdos' get up to far kinkier things than a bit of role play!