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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To miss my old house I was bullied out of

59 replies

Thepeasantonland · 26/06/2022 01:10

NC as I don’t want to get even more abuse for possibly identifying this person and myself.

A year ago I had to pack up and leave my house that I loved and spent years making a home for my children and I because we were being bullied by neighbours.

One of the bullies was one of these ‘insta famous’ people. Her and a few others subjected us to abuse daily, harassment, criminal damage and generally just made our lives hell. My partner left me in the midst of it and I had no one to turn to for help. I had no choice but to protect my children and move to a safe house but it’s one I hate and feel unhappy here.

I’m constantly bitter about the fact we were pushed from our home for no good reason at all. No body in authority would help me and I was ignored by everyone including the police, council and doctors. My only option was to escape.

I noticed today a page pop up about the insta woman and saw how everyone thinks the sun shines out her bum, the comments were cult like with everyone worshipping her. I don’t know what I was thinking but I commented about her being a bully behind closed doors and other personal (identifying) details I won’t mention, just to shame her publicly. I was called all sorts of names and accused of lying.

I know I should of ignored and moved on but I still feel like this ring leader is affecting me to date while she gets the privilege of non stop money rolling in and living in her home she’s not pushed out of. All while these so called fans are protecting her and claiming she wouldn’t do those things. One of them told me she hopes my child dies for the lies I told. It’s brought back all the feelings of last year and I feel so deflated. I just want my old house back and the life we loved before she ruined it and took it away and even now she’s smugly ‘winning’ while her little lost puppies sing her praises.

AIBU to wish these cult followers would understand it’s just an act and behind closed doors some of them are abusers, bullies, thieves and so on. Other local people know what I posted is true but many are too scared to speak up.

OP posts:
IMarchToADifferentDrummer · 26/06/2022 01:45

YANBU.
BUT, it is time to move on and leave this horrible person behind you now, and her horrible believers!
People like her are seen as idols, but the people watching don't know what they're like in real life - just like watching TV!
Rise above her, put yourself and your children first and get on with YOUR lives!
Good luck for the future.

Thirdsummerofourdiscontent · 26/06/2022 01:48

Is there a thread about her on tattle life?

IMarchToADifferentDrummer · 26/06/2022 01:56

What's tattle life, please?

clanell · 26/06/2022 02:00

Your lucky to be out of that!

IMarchToADifferentDrummer · 26/06/2022 02:06

Oh, ok. Lol

SlatsandFlaps · 26/06/2022 02:09

What's her name?

Sortilege · 26/06/2022 02:32

I don’t really understand the whole insta famous thing, but I wouldn’t keep giving her cronies a chance to make you feel worse.

WandaLust101 · 26/06/2022 05:59

Who is it? Can you describe the person without naming them?

NegativeNelly · 26/06/2022 06:14

Nah id have to speak out , do a tiktok or something but I couldn't have people thinking it's not true and have my life be ruined and affected so much from this person. Have you tried talking to the neighbor about it?

Papershade5 · 26/06/2022 07:10

I had to leave a house I loved for similar reasons and it does get better, I'm happy where I am now. Karma will catch up with her eventually and you need to stop looking at what she puts on insta or you won't move on.

stayingpositiveifpossible · 26/06/2022 07:39

Hello there,
I'm really sorry you experienced this.
In recent years I've been made aware of how many people are affected by anti-social behaviour from so-called 'neighbours' - it is also something I have experienced.

I feel it has been made worse by the housing and economic situation. It is all very well some saying 'just move' but it is not always so easy - kids schools etc. and anyway why should you have to leave somewhere you have chosen?

It has been a very long road for me standing up to anti-social behaviour and judging by the boards on here (so many 'neighbours' threads) - some trivial but some very serious a lot of people need to find their way through it. As you already know it can escalate to serious attacks.

Of the same opinion of previous poster re karma - and insta but it is also about getting the control back, being believed, and getting to the point where you believe you are worthy of more, and better, if that makes sense.

Perhaps the most important thing is - chances are, if this person has done this to you, they have probably also done it to someone else. Having said that I would be careful how, and when you call them out on it. Nasty people are very likely to continue to do nasty things.

Have you considered writing down your story - without the identifying features? Journalists may be interested in it - and it may help someone else who is struggling with anti social behaviour from neighbours - they may be able to publish it with a list of helplines at the end of the piece - (send it to You and Yours Radio 4?) - consumer affairs programme - it costs money for people to move and it can lead to financial ruin even mental health issues.

Or you may find it cathartic to write it down you could even put it in a drawer and keep it. There may come a point where the person concerned will be prosecuted for their behaviour - you have no way of knowing who else this has happened to and it is unacceptable.

I've heard some people say that anti-social behaviour from so called 'neighbours' is everywhere - as are drugs - but surely that does not mean we are supposed to sink to the lowest common denominator of behaviour?

Your thread has helped me this morning. In some ways I feel it is akin to domestic abuse, as it affects your home environment.

Here are some places where people might access help:

VOCAS - Victims of anti social behaviour support network and advocacy (only availble in certain places)
Victim support - (helpline but also you can meet with support worker)
Samaritans 116 123
MIndline 24 hours

Shelter?

TokyoSushi · 26/06/2022 07:45

Also shamelessly wondering who it is...

Cosmos123 · 26/06/2022 07:48

What a cow

Ouchmytoe100 · 26/06/2022 07:50

If she's famous enough I'd go to the tabloids so everyone knows. Especially if i had proof.

Ouchmytoe100 · 26/06/2022 07:52

'Karma' 😒. Karma isn't real and even for those who believe it is, it's meant to affect the next life, not the current one. So that's not much help this time around!

StoneofDestiny · 26/06/2022 08:00

I've never been in this situation but I think I'd have commented too just to feel a wee bit better - but I'd have got as many friends and family to do it also so that there would have been sufficient muck spread around said person.
Would love to know who the odious oaf is!

StoneofDestiny · 26/06/2022 08:02

The media that promotes such beings might be just as interested in shutting down their 15 minutes of fame..............

JolieJ · 26/06/2022 08:08

I can sympathise OP. I have awful neighbours too and have been able to get by ignoring them for over 7 years but a few weeks she abused us verbally so much I called 101 and logged it with them. To my surprise they took it very seriously and logged it as a hate crime and went and spoke to her. Since then not a peep so I'm grateful to the police for being proactive about it. I can't imagine how upset I would be if they didn't as in your case Flowers

pilates · 26/06/2022 08:11

Does she live in a city in the south east of england?

ShirleyPhallus · 26/06/2022 08:15

Also wondering who this is…

NoNoNoooo · 26/06/2022 08:18

OP you have my sympathies.

I have a bully for a neighbour OP, he hates me for some reason. I think it’s because I’m a woman on my own with three kids and he perceives me as being weaker. He refuses to raise the height of HIS fence which creates an issue when we both want to use the garden. It’s so odd, like he revels in the drama of it. He calls me a witch and makes out that I’m some kind of rough single mum with delinquent kids (not the case at all). He went through a phase of calling me “the witch” and announced “the witch is out” whenever I went into MY garden. I just wish he’d drop down dead.

His life is quite sad really. He has no partner or real family. His mum is frankly an embarrassment (probably why he hates women). Apart from going to work, he basically doesn’t leave the house.

At least you are away from it now. I own my house so am stuck and worried about complaining to the police/council which’ll make it harder to move when we’re able to.

berksandbeyond · 26/06/2022 08:19

Definitely go and take this to tattle. Is it Hinch?

Landlubber2019 · 26/06/2022 08:19

I am sorry this has happened to you and your family, it might be worth seeking some counselling to help you move on. If this isn't an option, write to Insta bitch citing all your grievances and how you are can move on, then just store the letter - don't send it as this gives further power to her and then do what you have to make your new house a home

Original poster
Thepeasantonland · 26/06/2022 08:26

Thank you for the replies and kind words.
Im not sure what tattle is if someone can fill me in I will look into it.
i don’t want to give names as then it identifies me and she could possibly call the police on me for apparent doxing. We’re in London and she thinks she’s the next Mrs hinch. She’s not hugely public in comparison but her fans think she’s the best thing since sliced bread.
there are many other things she done while I lived there but not towards me so I only mentioned the bullying as that’s why I’m down about it. But she’s an awful person in general, to her family and friends too.
if the papers picked it up and made these brainwashed fans aware their idols are not always as they seem then maybe the influencing will die a death asap.
i even had a dream about my old house, I let myself in with my old keys and done some washing. Sad cow I am lol.

OP posts:
Chattydoll · 26/06/2022 08:28

Get on Tattle Life - if she’s insta famous there’s bound to be a thread about her already! I’m so sorry this happened to you x

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