To feel absolute shame for those who are oblivious to their rudeness

[Whatthebarnacles]

At cinema.

Woman right next to me on her phone constantly. Even puts her foot up on her seat. I'd say she was in late 30s, early 40s - so not a kid.

I had to move about an hour into the film, aside from being annoying AF she was making me die inside. I was cringing for her!

She had kids and partner with her. Kids were 100% well behaved, but she was like some sort of unaware teenager too engrossed in instagram to notice that everyone was getting pissed off at her neon blue screen lighting the corner of the entire room.

I got up and moved to the other side of my husband to get away from it and she looked up and stared at me as if I was the rude one. Husband apparently just stared back whilst I was taking my seat and she gave up and went back to the phone.

Honestly I'm mortified. For her! Imagine being so completely unaware of your own rude behaviour 🙈 If you didn't want to see the movie, why go?

And before anyone say IABU because "you didn't tell her straight" or whatever other MNetty thing i "should have done" ...

a) I'm not her mother and b) I just wanted to watch the damn film without getting blinded in the corner of my eye or have someone's shoe an arms length away from my face. Literally, if I'd have straightened my arm, I'd have touched it.

Yabu - people have the right to do what they want, wherever they may be.

Yanbu - there's a time and a place, and for those who are oblivious of their rudeness, yes I cringe.

It's only because of Mumsnet I've learned that people find other people looking at phones in the cinema annoying.

I always assumed the phone issue was noise so always have it on silent. I had never noticed or been bothered by the light. I don't look at my phone in the cinema because I want to watch the film but wouldn't have thought it was a problem if I did because I'm just oblivious.

So I'd never stress over it or cringe or whatever. I probably wouldn't even notice.

But if it stresses you out so much that's a shame as it sounds like it ruined the film for you.

This, why waste your energy ‘cringing’ for people.

I think cinemas need to bring back the ushers.

I wouldn't cringe for her or have these feelings you were having about it and I wouldn't have moved because it doesn't seem from your description as if it was affecting me. I voted YABU not because I approve of her behaviour or think people can do whatever whenever as you have conveniently tried to manipulate the voting lol but because you're very dramatic and her company should feel cringey to be associated with her, not you a total stranger. Perhaps you didn't want to be associated or assumed to be associated with her.
If you got up and moved when you were previously ok sitting next to me I'd assume I smell or did something bad.

It's the cinema's staff job to tell her to get her feet off seats. Every film I've been to recently had an usher come in twice and I think they have CCTV or some viewing window where they can see this but I guess they are not paid near enough for confrontations with customers.

Bit dramatic 🙄

Yes she behaved inappropriately, without a doubt. But why were you ‘cringing for her’ and ‘mortified’?

Your reasons for not telling her straight don't make sense. You should have just asked her to put her phone away because it's disturbing you. YABU for all this shame and cringe nonsense!

I voted AIBU because if you were that annoyed, you could have either moved earlier than an hour into the film, asked her to switch her phone off or ignored her and enjoyed the film.
Silently seething is not going to change people's behaviour, you could have spoken to her and then moved if she didn't put her phone away.
Some people are oblivious to the way they annoy others.
So yes, YABU

This woman wasn't oblivious. She just does not care one but. Loads of these scumbags about.

I was at a work conference this week. The speakers were renowned experts. I was on the second row. The woman right next to me was on her phone the whole time, whatsapping and such (not doing anything conference related). I thought it was sad that she's so addicted to her phone that she can't put it down for 45 minutes to listen properly. I bet she's one of these people who sits in work meetings with her camera off playing on her phone

They ask people to turn their phones off at the beginning of a film...because its bloody annoying for everyone else. I went to my first concert since lockdown a couple weeks ago, we had a family in front of us, parents and daughters late teens early 20's they were all drunk (mother was so drunk she disappeared half way through and didn't return) the two daughters began to annoy everyone around them.waving their arms so no one could see,.standing up blocking everyone's view and just being generally obnoxious. In the end we moved and they glared at us as we left like somehow we were in the wrong for not wanting to watch their antics instead of the concert. Some people are just total twats.

Funniest thing I saw at the cinema was a teenage boy telling his mum off for talking. She talked all through the adverts and trailers, which is fair enough, but just kept going as the film started until I heard "Shush mum, the film!"
I too cannot understand why you'd pay money to see a film only to ignore it. If you don't want to watch the film, don't bother going!

No I don't feel shame about other people's rudeness. I am only responsible for me, nobody else.

I may well feel irritation, but that is very different!

People are rude all the time. Life will be more enjoyable for you if you just let them get on with it without having emotional responses.

I voted yabu because you are being very dramatic. Unless she had her feet all over you or was knocking you, you could have either ignored her and just watched the film or jusy moved alot sooner.

Also I completely understand why people put thier feet up I'm cinema's. I hate going to the cinema and try my hardest to avoid it, seats are uncomfortable, my feet never touch the floor properly, I struggle to stay comfortable for the sometimes 3 hours your in there. Usually the only way I'm comfortable is with my feet up (and od say there is always alot of others at all given time who do it also) but if I do I try to find seats where we are say away from people (also because i don't like sitting next to strangers in the cinema it seems to close for comfort for my likely.)

Maybe she has autism!

runs away

I'd have said something, asked her to put it away or something like that. People who are that inconsiderate need telling imo.

We have a lovely independent cinema and, while it doesn't get new films until they've been out a while, it has comfy seats, great sound and well-behaved customers, plus you can take a bottle of wine in with you. It's rather spoilt me for commercial chain cinemas.

The cinema staff should make more effort about people like this, if necessary chuck them all out, not refunds either, they may think twice next time.

Slobs will always get support from someone.

I don't know if I would have cringed, felt absolute shame, been mortified and died inside. I certainly would have found it annoying.

Why didn't you complain at the time? It would have given the cinema managers the chance to chuck them out.

Theyve come in before and told people to turn their phone off could be filming it or anyting

its rude

but i do put my feet up on the recliming seats in vue my legs dont reach the edge so have to really

YABU to cringe on behalf of a complete stranger for her behaviour