For having taken a covid test

[plasticcanister]

Help me out here. DH is annoyed with me for having taken a test without checking with him first. He has always been twitchy about testing because of the need to isolate- he always said he would rather not know the result so that he could carry on life as normal. I said I would rather test if I have symptoms because if I am positive then I would stop carrying on life as if I just have a cold and perhaps avoid meeting people who might be more at risk (I am due to meet a couple tomorrow who are in their 60s for example).

I'm right in thinking there are no restrictions right? So if I am positive everyone else in the family can just carry on with life but that I perhaps take time off work whilst still unwell? DH is worried that he has a really important work meeting on Friday and says I shouldn't test because it affects him attending. Does it?

Exactly this.

DS was positive before Easter. DH was annoyed I tested. He checked rules with work and they asked him to isolate at home. Our house is too small so he moved into a hotel for a week so he could still go to work.

At the time he said I should have asked before testing. His argument is that he told me then to ask before testing and that I shouldn't have tested at all.

He absolutely cannot see my reasoning for testing. I got infected as a woman coughed on me last weekend in a shop. I have been complaining about it all week- saying I can't believe she coughed on someone else without putting her hand over her face. And then I started to get cold symptoms I thought that's all it was. But today it started to feel like the flu. And I have been out this morning and someone tried to hug me and I started to worry.

Anyway he is now furious with me.

Is he always this controlling ?

I couldn't be with someone like this

Is he usually such an asshole?

It's not your elderly relative that's taking the test.

Unless you are the only person your elderly relative has any physical contact with and they never leave the house at any time, you could indeed argue there might be a very small benefit but that is a miserable existence for them.

The huge benefit to me taking a test is if it’s positive, I can avoid other people so that reduces the risk of them catching it from me. Some of my friends and family are more vulnerable and I’m very happy not to expose them.

He has MH issues at the moment which are making everything worse. He fell out with his dad last week too and stormed out on him. Hasn't spoken to him since.

Ugh, I’m sorry it’s positive. Your husband is being an arse.

If you took a test and it was positive, would your friends and family not cancel thier plans? I cannot see how that is a benefit to them from a test you took.

If you didn't take a test, your friends holidays plans wouldn't be in jeopardy.

He has been getting annoyed with me over loads of things recently. Now he's saying he's leaving. He has also walked out on his job and taken another that is 2 hrs away so will be living apart from me and DC anyway

It’s your choice. Who is he to say you can or cannot do a covid test?

This x100

I really can't see his point of view that I shouldn't have tested. I feel like there's something wrong with me that I can't see it. I'm normally able to see both points of views but this time I just can't

Of course there is. Plenty of people are still vulnerable to covid; it’s basic decency to do a test before mixing with them (or at the very least, stay home if you feel ill!).

I’m not even vulnerable but I’d rather not get covid for the third bloody time just because people have the means to test and can’t be arsed.

I'd speak to DH about him getting some counselling.

The benefit, if any, lies with other people and your family and friends, not you. Again, that is only true if everyone else they are likely to come into contact with continually test too.

Do you and your friends not have faith in masks and the vaccines?

The logical outcome of your stance is that you are going to test for the rest of your life and that you expect everyone else to do the same.

If you have had covid twice already, I suggest you start wearing a mask and get vaccinated.

It's not your elderly relative that's taking the test.

I don't really understand what you are saying. You said there was no benefit in taking the test. There is benefit for my relative in me taking the test.

Unless you are the only person your elderly relative has any physical contact with and they never leave the house at any time, you could indeed argue there might be a very small benefit but that is a miserable existence for them.

I am the only person she has contact with and you are indeed correct once again, it is a miserable existence for her.

The benefit, if any, lies with other people and your family and friends, not you. Again, that is only true if everyone else they are likely to come into contact with continually test too.

I agree that the benefit is to other people. That’s why I test when I’ve got symptoms and also if I’m meeting particularly vulnerable people. You said there was no benefit to anyone.

It’s not a logical position to take that because not everyone tests when they’ve got symptoms that it’s pointless for anyone to do it. Being exposed once verses being exposed five times clearly reduces the risks of catching covid. Also, if people are able to reduce the number of contacts they have when they’ve got covid (which then know through testing), that will reduce the general community rates.

I'll rephrase it.

There is no benefit to the individual that takes a test.

There is benefit to testing ds is now on an inhaler due to his cough we had to eliminate covid to get this far with a potential diagnosis

There is no benefit to the individual that takes a test.

I agree. I care about other people which is why I’ve taken every single test that I’ve done throughout the pandemic. Benefitting myself personally has never been my motivation.

If I hadn't taken a test, then yes, their plans could have been in jeopardy, because I'd not have known to stay away from them, and they might have caught it from me.

Alternatively without testing I might have assumed it was Covid when it wasn't, and kept away from everyone unnecessarily.

Also, if people are able to reduce the number of contacts they have when they’ve got covid (which then know through testing), that will reduce the general community rates.

Didn't work that way when the world and his mother were testing daily for the last two years. Why do you still stick to that belief?

I'll rephrase it.

Ah, yes, it really wasn't at all clear.

There is no benefit to the individual that takes a test.

I still consider managing to keep my elderly relative covid free and subsequently alive; as a benefit. This has happened because I test before going to see her

@IanOsenfrote

However, there is no benefit to anyone taking a test

Not to anyone?

If I was visiting someone with a serious illness, chronic respiratory issues or in an old people's home I would take a test first.

Because there would be a benefit to them if I tested positive and could therefore choose not to risk their health on that occasion.