Horrible people (Why)

[dottypotter]

Why are there so many horrible people around? Why don't they want to be nice? Just an example and there are millions more. Just reading about a couple who were supplying drugs and when their home was searched they found indecent images of children? Why Why? Never makes sense to me, then you go to prison your banged up, nobody cares about you, you ruin your own life, loose your freedom. Does anyone else struggle to understand why people are so vile?

Wouldn't they even be embarrassed to be in prison? I would. I wouldn't want anyone knowing I was such a disgusting human being. All the prison officers and the public know what I've done.

I genuinely believe that some people are 'nice', some are 100% shite and most people present as as nice as they need to be in any given situation to either get their needs met or avoid conflict.

Tis a pickle with some people, instead of e.g. Actually helping with sources of information that's specific, instead they seem to be obnoxious pickles.

And when I was growing up I learned that unless I shouted and screamed and had a meltdown I would never be heard. Not over the little things,not over the big things. Not over the clothes I wore,not even when I was bullied,not even when I was sexually abused. I learned emotional manipulation from my mother. I learned that there were plenty of excuses to abuse (physically,emotionally,mentally) a child and that no one gave a shit. I learned plenty of stupid and toxic things and behaviours, including that I'm not good enough and whatever happens to me I deserve it in one way or another. That no one has my back. That I'm only good for certain things. That opening up to people means they'll use what they learn as another stick to beat you with.

Yes I was an emotionally and mentally unstable for a while. Quite manipulative myself. I did and said shitty things. I even was on the periphery of illegality. Plenty of toxic,dangerous and self destructive coping mechanisms.

Deep down I still have those traits but learned to manage it better and found other coping mechanisms and ways to deal with it. It has nothing to do with me,or my morals or how strong I am. It was pure luck and circumstances. I could've just as easily ended up as the druggie fuck up in jail or dead.

OP - not being nasty..
Do you mean by people being horrible - people being “evil”?
people being criminals?
People being entitled and rude?
People acting like a dick because they are drunk/on drugs?
Specifically heinous crimes?
not crimes but issues like neglect?
I think you’d get better answers if you were clear…
I, for one, think moral categories are unhelpful and redundant but we don’t need evil to try to understand how crimes occur or are justified by the perpetrator…

Well OP went from drug dealers and child abusers to stolen bikes and something about a lack of morals and conscience and how there's no excuses. So fuck knows what she actually wants to know,if anything.

And of course, why is it a virtue to be “nice”?

Some people like to have control over others and don't care if these 'others' are children or otherwise vulnerable and not able to defend themselves.

people being evil, people being criminals, specifically heinous crimes, neglect,

yes, we also hear so many times well he/she was abused so they did it to someone else, shouldnt that make people go the other way and think i know how awful it is, so i shant do that to someone else?

we also hear so many times well he/she was abused so they did it to someone else, shouldnt that make people go the other way and think i know how awful it is, so i shant do that to someon

Unfortunately, trauma always doesn't work that way.

Trauma and abuse, especially in the very early years, can have a significant impact on brain development and how people interact with others and the world around them. If you grow up in an environment where your basic needs aren’t met or you frequently felt in danger and unsafe,then your brain develops differently than it would have had you had your needs met and grown up in a safe environment.

it’s not as simple as them logically thinking “oh I won’t mistreat others because I didn’t like being mistreated”. Trauma affects peoples development, affects ability to do things like regulate their emotions and use logic.