Horrible people (Why)

[dottypotter]

Why are there so many horrible people around? Why don't they want to be nice? Just an example and there are millions more. Just reading about a couple who were supplying drugs and when their home was searched they found indecent images of children? Why Why? Never makes sense to me, then you go to prison your banged up, nobody cares about you, you ruin your own life, loose your freedom. Does anyone else struggle to understand why people are so vile?

Wouldn't they even be embarrassed to be in prison? I would. I wouldn't want anyone knowing I was such a disgusting human being. All the prison officers and the public know what I've done.

I have had the privilege of working with many psychiatrists, psychologists and therapists and the one thing they all agree on is the person who shouts out about 'personality disorders' in a debate or argument is definitely the person who has one of the most disturbing ones! Many people live with personality disorders of differing degrees and this is mainly because they have dealt with trauma in their lives. Using the 'personality disorder' in such an uneducated way in a post like this is so harmful and 'horrible'.

Every year thousands of people are trafficked, thousands of children are abused, millions of people die from hunger, preventable disease and poverty. We are all complicit in these acts. We are all adept at ignoring these atrocities. We are all guilty of being 'horrible' human beings. Just because we live by a code of 'nice' standards dictated by the societal norm we find ourselves in does not excuse us from the atrocities our fellow human beings experience around the world.

When I see someone has had their bike/car pinched or similar which we are seeing all the time. I just think how utterly selfish of the person who has thieves it haven't they got a conscience.

I remember being in a leisure centre once and a woman came back in distraught as she realised her bike had gone from outside.

What right had that person got to ruin her day like that and what would they say if it happened to them.

Some human beings are utterly selfish.

This exactly.

So you don't want to know why, just to whinge about how shitty some people are. Fair enough, but if you're surprised,you haven't been paying attention.

When I grow up I wish for world peace, no poverty, no crime, no sexual exploitation, no poverty, no slavery, and no unnecessary human death due to corporate or societal greed but above all, I wish for no bike or car theft!

That's no excuse to do what they do, what does a shit life even mean.

I have, can't see anything that explains why you need to steal from people though.

What right have you got to do it?

I think the answer probably is no conscience or morals.

dottypotter you need to stop thinking that all people think like you. They don't. You may judge them based on your own standards but ultimately you need to understand that your normal is not everyone's normal.

That's no excuse to do what they do, what does a shit life even mean.

It means that some people have experienced amounts of trauma that you have no capacity to comprehend. That their whole existence, potentially starting from in the womb, is shaped by the trauma they have experienced and the impact that this has had on their biological, psychological and sociological development.
Not everyone responds to trauma in the same way and just because one person might perceive they have experienced a shitty life it doesn't diminish someone else's experience and the impact it may have had on them individually.

Maybe if we all chant 'be kind' a little louder all those people will see the light?

I assume OP has a fairly sheltered life if she can't see how circumstances can push people into things. Deprivation, mental illness, abuse, desperation, SEN... it's an endless list.

The world isn't black and white and inane sound bites won't suddenly change anything.

I thought unpleasant people were unpleasant because they are unhappy, bringing other down to their own level of misery. I’ve found genuinely happy people aren’t nasty or two faced.
I can certainly apply that to myself, during happier times of my life I’m patient, kind and all round lovely, when I’ve been low I’ve been quite nasty and have said hurtful things because I’m hurting and miserable. Human nature isn’t it.

Society is imploding and it is going to get more prevalent in the future.

For me personally, chronic tiredness, chronic pain and lack of sleep can lead me to awful behaviour.
I try my best though, in spite of this.
I have a lot of terrible thoughts, don't act on the majority of them, just think them.

I think the answer probably is no conscience or morals.

You identified the problem. What's the solution?

Its not deliberately cunty! It is straightforward (to understand) and they DO know how to stop people behaving in such awful ways but it is incredibly expensive to provide the support and education that is needed to get people out of the cycles they are trapped in. And OP asked how does vulnerability lead to people abusing kids?? Sorry to state the obvious but because they are vulnerable themselves and quite possibly have been abused or at the very least, taught damaging thought processes about sex and relationships and love and empathy.

Nobody is born with conscience and morals, they are taught. Through a million subtle little ways in the environment of a child.

@Therealpink I know that, but OP seems to be repeating the same thing over and over again,dismissing any explanations,reading materials or possible causes despite asking why.

So if she knows what the problem is, I want to know what her solution is.

I hate to break it to you, but if someone is straying so far outside of societal norms as to abuse children, being ‘terribly, terribly embarrassed’ amongst the other prison folk isn’t going to be a major deterrent. They’re not Victorian ladies accidentally showing their petticoat.

I’m afraid that if thousands of years of the study of the human mind hasn’t worked it out, asking ‘Why can’t people just be nice?’ on Mumsnet isn’t going to get us any further.

😂

Thank you

Is it that people can do terrible things that is causing you such confusion?
Or is it that prison is a huge deterrent for you and you don't understand why it isn't for everybody else?
Not sure what your main concern is from the post...
Everyone is somewhere on the niceness scale: Jesus at the top, Lucifer at the bottom, the rest of us somewhere in between.

When I was growing up, even if I was frustrated or annoyed, I did not see the wisdom in getting snappy with those that were close to me, and could not alter x factors, so.I learned to not react emotionally and tried to rechannel my emotions to more understanding of the situation, it took a while to get used to, I think sometimes people react more out of emotions rather logic, at times, but at the same time, a.lot of humans are quick to argue with each other rather than try to read understanding through discussions.

A good book I recommend is

Philip Zimbardo The Lucifer Effect: How Good People Turn Evil

"Philip G. Zimbardo

Philip George Zimbardo (born March 23, 1933) is a psychologist and a professor emeritus at Stanford University. He became known for his 1971 Stanford prison experiment and has since authored various introductory psychology books, textbooks for college students, and other notable works, including The Lucifer Effect, The Time Paradox and The Time Cure. He is also the founder and president of the Heroic Imagination Project"

A good book I recommend is

Philip Zimbardo The Lucifer Effect: How Good People Turn Evil

"Philip G. Zimbardo

Philip George Zimbardo (born March 23, 1933) is a psychologist and a professor emeritus at Stanford University. He became known for his 1971 Stanford prison experiment and has since authored various introductory psychology books, textbooks for college students, and other notable works, including The Lucifer Effect, The Time Paradox and The Time Cure. He is also the founder and president of the Heroic Imagination Project"

All bow down to the superior one! On your knees peasants!! The master has spoken!