Horrible people (Why)

[dottypotter]

Why are there so many horrible people around? Why don't they want to be nice? Just an example and there are millions more. Just reading about a couple who were supplying drugs and when their home was searched they found indecent images of children? Why Why? Never makes sense to me, then you go to prison your banged up, nobody cares about you, you ruin your own life, loose your freedom. Does anyone else struggle to understand why people are so vile?

Wouldn't they even be embarrassed to be in prison? I would. I wouldn't want anyone knowing I was such a disgusting human being. All the prison officers and the public know what I've done.

I ask myself this on a daily basis when I come across mean people. Surely it’s so much easier to be nice and kind? I just don’t get it.

That is true. Just an excuse alotbof the time. You can always work on yourself and try and better yourself too.

Why are some posters being so deliberately cunty? It’s not straightforward because if it was we’d know how to stop people behaving in awful ways quite easily and we wouldn’t have prisons and societies full of people who have done awful things.

Obviously I’m not suggesting anyone ‘be kind’ all the time. It’s just that some people’s default mode cambr unpleasant and unnecessarily so.

It’s not an ‘excuse’ but for some it’s a contributing factor.

I think many men enjoy being horrible and that has influenced society.

I know women can be revolting but I think a lot of it is a reaction to men.
How many wars have been started by women. How many terrorist white van drivers or shooters are women.
Countries inthe Middle East have a ton of money but they still can’t treat people well and women still walk behind billy big bollocks.
I have a son who is a delight but people still worry he isn’t a male enough. If he was a girl no one would think he should go out more or have a girlfriend or go to the pub every birthday.

Lol. I'm not your personal search engine. Get googling. There'll be a gazillion books, articles, comments and opinion pieces on the causes of crime.

Google it! Wow so insightful 😆

I think people end up in prison for all sorts of reasons, and not just because they are horrible shit-people.

A lad (now late 30s man) I went to school with is currently in prison for killing someone due to drunk driving. Granted, I haven't had any contact with him in 15+ years, but the boy I remember was kind, funny, a bit cheeky and absolutely wouldn't have hurt a fly.
Does he belong in prison? Absolutely! But I'd have never said he was evil or a monster. He made one awful, horrible decision, that caused a terrible thing. But he's not evil.

That is true. Just an excuse alotbof the time. You can always work on yourself and try and better yourself too.

In order to do that you need to have the self awareness and capacity to recognise that something is wrong and also to care about that. Early trauma and neglect literally affect the connections the brain makes and the way it functions. Certain parts of the brain develop wrong or are underdeveloped. It requires extensive ,early and professional intervention to even try and attempt to rewire the brain.

@orwellwasright could you be a case study! What on earth happened to you to make you like this?

You're coming across as one of those hags who used to knit and gossip at executions.

Have you ever , really sat down and thought... "I wonder what made that person do that?"

Absolutely. I think people are amazing usually, especially if you give them a chance to be so and try not to be an arse yourself

😂😂😂

Do a bit of reading on ACEs and their effects, the effect of trauma on the human brain, have a read about the children in Romanian orphanages, healthy "normal" children and babies that due to the way they were kept and treated ended up with significant physical and neurological disabilities, some being institutionalised even in adulthood.

That's of course if you actually want to know at least a reason why .

Ironic that you should reply like this in response to someone asking why people don't want to be nice!

Tbh I'd question the intelligence or comprehension skills of posters who can't tell the difference between an OP requesting a factual piece of information (which they could indeed just google) and an OP expressing puzzlement about an issue and starting a thread because they're interested to hear others' points of view.

Some people are a product of their environment, for sure. But to say no one is born bad is just wrong. I bet everyone on here knows people who had lovely parents, a happy childhood, and a lot of success in life, but are utterly vile - spiteful, delighted by others misfortune, zero empathy, etc. I’m some cases, it’s there from the start. And it’s a mystery.

Lots of people have personality disorders. Some of them seem to be on this thread. I don’t buy the ‘ADHD’ or shit childhood excuse myself. I have/had both and I’ve never done anything to merit prison time.

That's true and life is easier that way.

I don't know, obviously. But I do think it is an interesting topic and I don't know why so many horrible people are posting such nasty things.

It is a forum to discuss topics.

I think it probably is mainly to do with how you're brought up, and it's much easier to be a dick when you're having a bad day. I know I can be (not to like a shop keeper but to my family, snapping being short)

I think another poster is right about it not being embarrassing to go to jail for some people it is just an occupational hazard. you sometimes get nicked, ill see you when I'm out.
There are sometimes people within the same family (so same background, financial privileges or troubles, same parents, culture etc) and one will turn out to be a cunt and the other will be really nice. I suppose you can't tell why really.

I do think paedophilia is absolutely vile and I can almost forgive most crimes, I would find reading about a murder of 10 women easier to digest than a story about a child. even headlines I have to skip past and actively try to not think about it.

A couple of my family members were abusing their children and 1 has done really well for herself (on the surface, I don't know her that well) and seems to have a good relationship with her now adult children (on Facebook I know)
another has been in and out of psychiatric hospitals all her life. Sometimes she can be doing really well, good mother, other times (I think its a case of gradual decline, i know her well) and she started off actually being a great mother and wife but she is now addicted to drugs as an escape. very sad

Another has gone on, to abuse her own children who are in and out of her care. no proof of sexual abuse but the things she says are off and she is an addict and very neglectful. 10 kids and counting and lost a few to the dads, others have been in Foster care.

So I can see how, if you are abused as a child you're more likely to do it. nobody has to guess it was the dads hurting the daughters.

Sometimes I've seen little shits on bikes in hoodie and thought 'what's the point' because they are obviously going to go down that route. the same as their parents.

But then you have the upper class who legally fuck over people, and they are even worse! Have you seen all of the old episodes of 7 up? There's one really rich boy on there who just was so unbelievably off there were 3 boys from the same private school and 2 turned out to be nice but one obviously thought he was better than the common folk and. Well it's very interesting. to see how their lives worked out. (I haven't watched them all yet they're only 30 odd as far as I've gone)

I do think that there are more nice people too though. For instance, I can recall how many people have been weird or nasty or shouting g etc on the bus, or in the street etc. not too many, but they are memorable. But I could tell you how any people have started chatting to me about Mt babies or children ad they get older, how many people let me cross the road when my children are with me (cars stopping to let us go I mean) and offer to hold bags or open doors. hundreds. multiple people a day (and it's not because I'm a super model, I'm a mess) so I do always remember the bad things easier but the good things come more often.

I do know one boy who was a horrible child, very nasty. took joy in hurting or staring you get children. He's now abusing his gf and starts fights in pubs etc. if I could have I'd have bet on him as a child growing up like this. A 'medical professional' too and the way he talks about patients is so shocking and sickening. definitely went into that job for the power Aspect

WorriedWoking · Today 17:22

Lots of people have personality disorders. Some of them seem to be on this thread. I don’t buy the ‘ADHD’ or shit childhood excuse myself. I have/had both and I’ve never done anything to merit prison time.

THIS 100%.

I too had an awful childhood, but it was also quite sheltered/isolated. By the age of 40 when I was in charge of a Department and managing people I gradually realised, through getting to know them and observing their interactions with others, that a surprisingly large percentage of people thoroughly enjoy hurting others in any and all ways they can. I could never get my head around it, or understand what they derived from it.

One was a cruel, insecure bully and the other was highly manipulative and should not have been around children/vulnerable people but covered his tracks meticulously. They, and high-profile crime cases showing 'highly respectable members of society' who in reality are anything but, have made me very cynical and suspicious, and I never take people at face value now.

Having said that, my experience is still that most people are benevolent and do not wish harm onto others, so I try to focus on that.

Actually, being too nice/kind is a great source of stress and distress to many people,particularly women.

On a personal level, being nice is easy only if it comes automatically to you and you have the capacity for empathy and sympathy , so not only do you care about other people but you get good "feelz" for doing it.

My biological mother was a child abuser, according to the social services report she was "mentally insufficient" so she was never arrested or charged with nearly killing her children. She supposedly felt no remorse and couldn't understand what was wrong. She had friends, I don't know how, I can only assume they didn't know her past.
She ended her own life a few years ago so that brought my family some comfort but we're also hurt at never being able to get an answer as to why.
I'm not saying mental health is an excuse because in no way is it, but a good portion of the prison population and those with criminal records have a history of mental illness, mental disabilities or unfortunately have been brought up with no knowledge of right or wrong and have themselves been abused. There's also a large population with mental illness, disabilities and who were brought up in such a way that are in no way criminals and have gone on to live great lives. I believe unless you are a person that isn't nice as you put it or you commit such atrocious acts, you'll never fully know why.

Everyone’s different op. Peoples brains are wired differently. Not everyone is born with kindness and empathy. Some people are born with an attraction to children the same way other people are born with normal attractions. There are peadophiles out there who despise the way they are, and plead doctors/psychiatrists to help them.