To not want to buy this tightwad a drink?

[Homewardbound2022]

I play a group sport regularly and it is customary to buy drinks for one's playing partners afterwards. For the last three years since I've known her, one woman has never put her hand in her pocket. She will quite happily accept drinks but doesn't buy her round. My feeling is that if she can afford this activity, she can stretch to a few extra euros for drinks, if not she should just go home straight after! I've already been caught out twice by her but that was in the innocent early days and now I know her MO.
Anyway, on Monday I have the misfortune of playing with her (and two men) and am already wondering how I can avoid buying this seasoned tightwad a drink or to shame her into pulling out her purse.
Any suggestions?

"Oh, I'm saving for a new car actually" and both sit in silence with no drinks, then go home XD We're all saving for things, surely!

My pet hate is men who bring their partners along, who proceed to order large wines or double spirit and mixers and yet look like butter wouldn’t melt when it’s their turn.

I don’t care how you do your finances, there are two of you and two rounds are coming out of you.

Ah living on a small pension does change things for me unless the rest of you are in a similar financial position.

We have someone like this a group of colleagues who do a regular activity after work. Will always, always accept a drink, usually a pint. Has never once offered to buy one, ever. He earns more than all but one member of the group. Once, he just went to the bar on the way back from loo and bought himself a drink, nobody else - and it was a Coke. But if anyone else offers he'll always have a pint. Once my colleague 'Right, must be your round I think, mate' and he said 'OK, I'll just finish this pint and then I'll go to the bar'. Half an hour later, his glass has been empty for a good 25 minutes, as has everyone else's, and he's still not made a move to the bar.

The thing is, if he doesn't want to do rounds, that's fine. All he needs to say is 'Oh, I'm all right, thanks - I'm just going to get my own tonight' and nobody would mind in the slightest. Another colleague said one week that he wouldn't take a drink from me because he was too skint that week to do rounds and I didn't mind at all, I bought him one anyway with no expectation that he'd buy one back, because he's a mate and I can buy a skint mate a drink. But this other bloke just takes pint after pint off everyone else and never buys a round. Ever.

@UpdateStoleMyProfile we are a mix of ages (mostly 50+), male/female, working and retired, but I wouldn't know anyone's financial circumstances, although can guess from conversations. Thing is she can shell out for a pricey activity, she runs a car...but can't/won't stump up a few € for a couple of drinks. And I'm damned if I'm putting another one down her neck!

Here is your perfect "Get out of jail free" card.

If she suddenly can't find her purse, then just say, " oh not again, you won't mind if I just buy myself a drink"

@10HailMarys you sound like a very decent person and I'd have done exactly the same for a skint friend. The other epic sponger however...shameless.

She sounds mean. Op my friend can be tight. One day we got to till lady says cash/card and I said card just mine thanks. My friend had delayed at till taking money out. Its just not something Im starting paying hers but its def a habit

Your turn Barbara I bought the drinks last time couple of times we played.

I'm guessing this is tennis which is a very pricey activity. If she can afford membership she can afford a round of drinks! (Obvs may not be tennis though lol)

The trouble with tightwads is that when you do brave it out say"I think it's your turn," they suddenly can't find their purse or their wallet or their card isn't in their wallet...

Simple - in that case you just say "Oh dear, I'll buy my own then"

If they're so brass necked that they then say "I'll have an x", just ignore

My in-laws knew someone like this, we told them to go to the toilet and say for her to get the drinks in. She said she needed to go also and waited in wc for a good few minutes knowing that when she came out they would have gotten the drinks in. My FIL was also very tight, so he got his comeuppance. My poor MIL was the first to pay for everything.

Just say straight out It's your turn to buy the drinks as I got them last time.

Love this suggestion!

Has she got social anxiety? Possibly she's okay in a small group of people she knows but the thought of going to the bar and ordering drinks for everyone might be difficult for her. When I was recovering from a bad bout of depression and anxiety I was able to go out but would give my friend the money to buy my rounds and she would go to the bar to order everything for us. I found just that one stage overwhelming. Over it now, thank goodness and wouldn't wish it on anyone.

But why wouldn't she say, "Sorry, I can't do rounds" and just buy her own? Nobody would give it a second thought.

@PrincessFluffyPants there's table service in the country (EU) in which I live so usually no need to go to the bar.
I now have a cunning plan in mind for Monday. Will report back!

This would make me feel incredibly awkward. I really hate situations like this.

Why not try taking her to one side and asking if she understands the rules of rounds?

If she says she does, then politely remind her that is it, in fact, her round this week then.

Also, desperate to hear what you actually went with 🤣😂

Hi OP, your post made me smile. I used to have this tightwad as a friend and she always always found a way to squeeze something from me (and others). Once we met at the pub and she said Hun, I'm so sorry I forgot my wallet, can I ask you to buy me a drink? I'm so sorry, I'll buy you one tomorrow'. We were meeting again, so fair enough.

We met next day at the pub and were queuing together for drinks, she ordered herself a drink and ran straight out like a coward, didn't ask me anything. I actually felt offended. I bought myself a drink and didn't say anything. Then went home and sent her a message, 'hey hun, here's my bank details, can you transfer the £3 for that drink yesterday?' I know sounds horribly petty, but I wanted to show her I'm not going to be taken for a mug anymore. She did transfer the money and I don't remember her messing around again.

I now have a cunning plan in mind for Monday. Will report back!
Hastily adds thread to watch list.

Good luck @Homewardbound2022
Mn is cheering you on

I have a colleague a bit like this. Everyone in the team brings in cakes when it’s their birthday. Not necessarily anything fancy, donuts or cookies are perfectly acceptable although some are a bit more extravagant. In the eight years I’ve worked there, I’ve never known him to bring anything in, yet he’s often first in the queue to take his share of someone else’s cakes. It’s been noted and commented on behind his back but as far as I know, no-one has ever challenged him about it.

You’re adults. Just tell her you’re not paying this time.

my MIL is like this but she’ll say can your order for me (even table service) and I’ll pay. Just as you do, which would be simple
To offer

Good luck for tomorrow